Husband has left me

Bubblebutt9

I’m trying to be level headed and think logically but I’m hurting so bad. I don’t understand how we have got here. 

Thank you for all your advice it really means a lot xx

Jude57

Bubblebutt9 said:

I’m trying to be level headed and think logically but I’m hurting so bad. I don’t understand how we have got here. 

Thank you for all your advice it really means a lot xx

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. I hope some of the following is at least of practical help.

While your estranged husband will be liable for child support, I'd recommend as a first step that you have a look at whether you'll be able to claim any state benefits help. First, as the only adult in the house, you're entitled to Single Person Discount (it's not means tested and it's not about marital status!) so contact your Council Tax department to let them know your change of circumstances. Depending on your income, you may also be entitled to Council Tax Reduction. I'd recommend you put your details into:

https://www.entitledto.co.uk/

Again, depending on your income, you could be entitled to Universal Credit to top up your earned income. Entitledto will show you what you could claim, based on your individual circumstances.

If you have unsecured debts in your sole name or in joint names that you will struggle to pay, don't leave the creditors in the dark about your situation. The sooner you alert them to any difficulties, the better your chances of getting some help. This could be a hold being put on the account, official breathing space, suspended interest and so on. For free, impartial debt advice, contact StepChange Debt Charity or, if you can get to see a local Citizen's Advice Bureau (CAB) advisor, they can help with debt and benefits advice, too. Whatever you do, don't pay for debt advice and don't rush into anything until you've had time to think it through properly. The DebtFreeWannabe board here is a source of endless support, too, and there are lots of tips to help you manage your budget.

This must all seem overwhelming because it's such a shock but you CAN work your way through it. I agree with everyone recommending you get good legal advice as soon as possible. You might have legal cover with your home or car insurance or if you have a fee-paying current account. Alternatively, there might be legal advice available via your employer if you have an Employee Assistance Programme or your Union, if you're a member. None of these will represent you in a divorce, but they should be able to give you some initial advice and guidance until you can find a good, local solicitor. Ask friends and colleagues for recommendations for solicitors specialising in Family Law. If there's no-one you can ask, search online and look at reviews, too.

Take it a step at a time and don't be pushed into anything until you have had advice and know exactly what you're agreeing to.

lika_86

Bizzywizard said:

As a female I would have a really good MALE Lawyer!

What sexist nonsense is this?

Bubblebutt9

My head is all over the place. I’m struggling 

elsien

You will be - this must have come as a huge shock, plus it's only just happened so you do need time for anything to start to sink it.
Just take things one small step at a time - do you have someone in real life that you can talk to about what has happened and let you offload?

What is your contact with your husband at the moment - are you in touch at all and how is he letting you know about the arrangements (seeing the kids, for example) and next steps? If not is there a third party who could act as someone in the middle ref communication?