Grieving cousin thrown out of home.

turnitround

I am so cross. I don't think anyone can help or advise much but I just want to vent.

My cousin is 71 years old and has been living with his partner for the last 9 years in her house.  Completely unexpectedly, she died on Thursday afternoon. Came home from shopping and fell down dead as she opened the front door.

He is devastates you can imagine but I am fuming on his behalf. Neither he nor his partner had  children and her nephew is set to inherit and is executer to her will.  My cousin rang him to say his aunt had died and it took 4 hours for him to travel up to her house and once he arrived he told my cousin he had 2 hours to get his things together and leave the property.  He then sat in his car while he waited for my cousin to gather some things. My cousin  told him that he had nowhere to go, this was at 3.45pm and the nephew told him there was a hotel in a neighbouring town where he could stay.

When he asked about getting his belongings which he could not carry at a later date when he finds somewhere he was told that he could have till Sunday (3 days!) and if not collected they would be disposed of. The nephew also had my cousin hand over his keys and announced that the locks would be changed the following morning.

There is no history of bad feeling between them, they have only met once so no reason for the nephew not to have a little compassion. My cousin knew he would have to leave as the house will be sold but he certainly thought he would be able to arrange a funeral and have time to find somewhere to live. 

It's obviously one of those cases where things have not been done properly, she had talked about changing her will and had jokingly said that 'If they make the 10 year mark' she would do it.

He knows he has no rights, it was her property which was mortgage free and since he moved in with her he has paid all the bills as his contribution to the household but he has not put any money into the house.

When he mentioned the funeral the nephew said it 'Will be simple and family only, so there is no reason you need details'.

I cant get over how callous this mans behaviour is, he is a retired police inspector and my cousins partner always spoke about how proud she was of him.
To me it just beggars belief that someone would do this to a person who needs time to grieve .

elsien

I think the cousin would be on dodgy grounds, not giving him the proper chance to collect his belongings in a more reasonable timescale, but he probably doesn’t have time to get legal advice now. Is there anyone nearby who could store things for him on a temporary basis?
it is a shocking way for the family to behave.

In a similar situation with a gentleman I know, the local authority stepped in to find him a temporary place in housing with care while he looked at his options. He should probably get onto the council and tell them he’s homeless and see what they can offer.

With regards to the funeral if it’s at the crematorium, he can phone up and ask when it is, and there’s nothing anyone can do to prevent him from attending. 

katejo

turnitround said:

I am so cross. I don't think anyone can help or advise much but I just want to vent.

My cousin is 71 years old and has been living with his partner for the last 9 years in her house.  Completely unexpectedly, she died on Thursday afternoon. Came home from shopping and fell down dead as she opened the front door.

He is devastates you can imagine but I am fuming on his behalf. Neither he nor his partner had  children and her nephew is set to inherit and is executer to her will.  My cousin rang him to say his aunt had died and it took 4 hours for him to travel up to her house and once he arrived he told my cousin he had 2 hours to get his things together and leave the property.  He then sat in his car while he waited for my cousin to gather some things. My cousin  told him that he had nowhere to go, this was at 3.45pm and the nephew told him there was a hotel in a neighbouring town where he could stay.

When he asked about getting his belongings which he could not carry at a later date when he finds somewhere he was told that he could have till Sunday (3 days!) and if not collected they would be disposed of. The nephew also had my cousin hand over his keys and announced that the locks would be changed the following morning.

There is no history of bad feeling between them, they have only met once so no reason for the nephew not to have a little compassion. My cousin knew he would have to leave as the house will be sold but he certainly thought he would be able to arrange a funeral and have time to find somewhere to live. 

It's obviously one of those cases where things have not been done properly, she had talked about changing her will and had jokingly said that 'If they make the 10 year mark' she would do it.

He knows he has no rights, it was her property which was mortgage free and since he moved in with her he has paid all the bills as his contribution to the household but he has not put any money into the house.

When he mentioned the funeral the nephew said it 'Will be simple and family only, so there is no reason you need details'.

I cant get over how callous this mans behaviour is, he is a retired police inspector and my cousins partner always spoke about how proud she was of him.
To me it just beggars belief that someone would do this to a person who needs time to grieve .

Are you absolutely sure that the will doesn't include anything left to your cousin? The nephew's attitude seems extremely unreasonable/unkind.

mebu60

Sounds the sort of story a local paper could go to town on. Not that it changes the fundamentals but could shame the nephew into more compassionate behaviour. Salutary reminder of the need to get things formalised. I had my wake-up call two years ago during three months in hospital before major surgery. Surprising what can be done from your hospital bed when the mind is focused. 

turnitround

Thank you for the replies. He doesnt think he will be in the will. They had been together for almost 10 years and living together for 9 years and when he met her it was just over 2 years since she had lost her husband so he was wary about moving in with her but they lived almost 200 miles apart and she instigated him moving up. 

They were devoted to each other and I said to him yesterday that it was a shame they hadn't married. He said that because she had the 'If we make 10 years thing' gpoing on, coupled with the fact that she would have been 70 next March he had thought of proposing on Valentines day next year but of course its all irrelevant now.

He is in a bad way, says he has not only lost his future but also his chance to grieve properly. He was crying about all the photos they have on her laptop from holidays and he said that he just wanted the chance to spend a few days getting himself together. He said it was that fast, her dying to him leaving the house was less than 8 hours.

 
We live near Manchester and they lived near Penzance so we are miles away. He even has an amount of cash at the house which he didnt remember to collect before he left but has no way now to prove he is entitled to it. He had no idea when he rang the nephew that he would demand he leave within 2 hours. He is not an argumentative person and I think the fact that the nephew is retired police stopped him from refusing to go. I have since found out that one of the neighbours has offered him a room till he gets sorted so thats some consolation for now.

Keep_pedalling

This should really be on the housing board, your cousin would seem to have been illegally evicted. Even if if he was not included in the will he can’t just be kicked out with an hours notice. I have reported the thread so hopefully it will be moved shortly.

_Penny_Dreadful

What callus behaviour from the nephew.  Your cousin has my sympathies.

I wonder if your cousin could apply for an occupation order as a non-entitled applicant.  Non-entitled meaning that he has no beneficial interest in the place but that he could be granted 6 months to continue occupying the property which would buy him some time to sort things out providing the nephew hasn't gone in and stripped the place like a plague of locusts.

If the funeral is being held in a crematorium or church there is nothing stopping your cousin from attending if he can find out the date and time.  I hope he gets to say his goodbyes.

Malthusian

mebu60 said:

Sounds the sort of story a local paper could go to town on.  

Getting the press involved will almost certainly make things worse.

Not that it changes the fundamentals but could shame the nephew into more compassionate behaviour. 

The far more likely outcome is more harrassment from the nephew and his currently-serving friends. Media attention could easily backfire on the cousin even if it wasn't for the police factor. 

OP - very sorry for your cousin's loss. Although he has almost certainly been illegally evicted, by vacating the house I fear his position is already lost. Hopefully he retrieved his belongings before Sunday (before they disappeared).
Once the Will has gone to probate (which the nephew will need to do to get the ownership transferred) he can download a copy from the probate registry just to make sure he wasn't included. 
A funeral is a private occasion and the family are within their rights to exclude him. Nobody owns the body and realistically he isn't going to get it away from the nephew. There is nothing stopping him holding his own funeral (or memorial service if you prefer that term).

pinkshoes

Your cousin has NO rights to remain in the house, but there should be reasonable notice given whilst probate is sorted. They cannot just evict the cousin with hours of notice.

I would inform the local police of what has happened, and ask the police to assist your cousin getting back into the house.

He then needs to change the locks, and WRITE to the nephew stating that as he had lived in the property for 10 years as a partner to Y, then reasonable notice needs to be given to leave the property. I'd state that 28 days would be reasonable notice, and then state that once the 28 days notice has been received, he will move out of the house within this time period. 

In theory there is nothing to stop him making a claim on the will under the 1975 provision for families and dependants act as he has been there over 2 years. It might not be worth claiming but could perhaps be used as a threat to buy some more time to move out.

mark_cycling00

I would get legal advice quick. 

My understanding (from my last property sale where someone was living there and contributing to some bills) is that your cousin should be able to live there and it would be very difficult to sell the house without him being happy to leave.

If he has already left then this might not apply and perhaps is why the nephew was so quick to throw your cousin out and avoid a very difficult (in his eyes) sale process.

Now without defending the nephew in any way, let's see his perspective. His life as a senior copper consisted of duty, honour, self-sacrifice and perhaps a more traditional view of the world. 

One option could be to appeal to this nature, explain that your cousin needs some dignified time to mourn, that the partner who's died would not be happy about the current situation, but also offer to sign a legal document promising to vacate after a certain amount of time and not unnecessarily delay the sale process 

SiliconChip

pinkshoes said:

I would inform the local police of what has happened, and ask the police to assist your cousin getting back into the house.

Pleass don't waste everybody's time doing this. No Police service in the country has the resources, time or inclination to get involved in something like this when there is no breach of the peace taking place, and they certainly won't offer any assistance in returning to the property. The best that will happen is that they'll say it's a civil dispute, which it is. As suggested, legal advice is the best route to take at this point.