Can’t afford to rent or buy - don’t know what to do

Luke451

[Deleted User] said:

chilswelluk said:

Over the last 20 years I have lived in Banbury, Bicester, Milton Keynes, Oxford and commuted regularly from all these places to London with relative ease.  Oxford is a no go now in terms of prices, but there are so many other places that are accessible within 90 minutes commuting of London.  A budget of 300k is very achievable if you don't mind an hour or so commute.

You have to accept the reality that there is no way you can buy in central London, but thats life.  I don't see the point in getting depressed and over thinking things.  Faced with an hour or so commute or living with my parents, I know what I would choose!

I don't want to live in central London. I don't even need to live in London. 

I think 'an hour' commute is oversimplifying things a bit. It takes an hour to get to work if you live in London. From places where I can afford to live, it would be a lot longer than that. 

That's why I said forget London, it's not healthy to live in a city that has always ripped off everyone, it's just a joke to make the elite richer, it's not for living, it's for hunting...

Luke451

wildbilljones said:

Angelica123 said:

Out of curiosity, are your friends partnered up/looking to settle down? It's likely if they are, then there is a possibility they won't stay in London (unless they are on very high salaries). Early to mid-thirties was when many of my friends started to leave London to start families. 

I have a fairly small friendship group. One bought a small flat about 5 years ago with m a 50k contribution from his father. Another is about to buy a London flat with 200k deposit from his parents. Another works as a developer and earns a very good salary, he's bought alone. I have other friends who have coupled up and bought in Brighton or who rent flats together as couples. 

It's not only about friends. My work is in London, my family is just outside London, I play for several sports teams in London etc. I know these things can be found elsewhere. I am a bit reluctant to throw myself into another witness protection scheme type experience though. As I know I'll likely become very depressed on my own in a place that I don't like. I'm coming to terms with that being the only real option though. 

You forgot one critical point, in UK, the people move in less than 10y from the moment you arrive, even your shiny place in London could become a nightmare.

There is no safe even in this jungle, but if I were you, I'd start buying in a more human city, London is a jungle, including its surroundings.

[Deleted User]

Luke451 said:

wildbilljones said:

Angelica123 said:

Out of curiosity, are your friends partnered up/looking to settle down? It's likely if they are, then there is a possibility they won't stay in London (unless they are on very high salaries). Early to mid-thirties was when many of my friends started to leave London to start families. 

I have a fairly small friendship group. One bought a small flat about 5 years ago with m a 50k contribution from his father. Another is about to buy a London flat with 200k deposit from his parents. Another works as a developer and earns a very good salary, he's bought alone. I have other friends who have coupled up and bought in Brighton or who rent flats together as couples. 

It's not only about friends. My work is in London, my family is just outside London, I play for several sports teams in London etc. I know these things can be found elsewhere. I am a bit reluctant to throw myself into another witness protection scheme type experience though. As I know I'll likely become very depressed on my own in a place that I don't like. I'm coming to terms with that being the only real option though. 

You forgot one critical point, in UK, the people move in less than 10y from the moment you arrive, even your shiny place in London could become a nightmare.

There is no safe even in this jungle, but if I were you, I'd start buying in a more human city, London is a jungle, including its surroundings.

I'm not sure what you mean by more human. I'm priced out of London, Bristol, St Albans, Brighton, Bath, Oxford, Edinburgh. Do you mean Liverpool or Manchester? 

BungalowBel

wildbilljones said:

Luke451 said:

wildbilljones said:

Angelica123 said:

Out of curiosity, are your friends partnered up/looking to settle down? It's likely if they are, then there is a possibility they won't stay in London (unless they are on very high salaries). Early to mid-thirties was when many of my friends started to leave London to start families. 

I have a fairly small friendship group. One bought a small flat about 5 years ago with m a 50k contribution from his father. Another is about to buy a London flat with 200k deposit from his parents. Another works as a developer and earns a very good salary, he's bought alone. I have other friends who have coupled up and bought in Brighton or who rent flats together as couples. 

It's not only about friends. My work is in London, my family is just outside London, I play for several sports teams in London etc. I know these things can be found elsewhere. I am a bit reluctant to throw myself into another witness protection scheme type experience though. As I know I'll likely become very depressed on my own in a place that I don't like. I'm coming to terms with that being the only real option though. 

You forgot one critical point, in UK, the people move in less than 10y from the moment you arrive, even your shiny place in London could become a nightmare.

There is no safe even in this jungle, but if I were you, I'd start buying in a more human city, London is a jungle, including its surroundings.

I'm not sure what you mean by more human. I'm priced out of London, Bristol, St Albans, Brighton, Bath, Oxford, Edinburgh. Do you mean Liverpool or Manchester? 

Yes, if you are priced out of those others.

Or Birmingham.  Second city.

Also other cities like Coventry or Wolverhampton.

You can still get to London easily, and also, from the Midlands, it's really easy to get to the beautiful scenery in North Wales.

Herzlos

Given that you don't seem to want to listen to any advice here, what are you hoping to hear?

There's no way for you to be able to magically afford a nice flat of our own in an area you deem nice enough - the market is completely broken.

Your only options are:
* Keep sharing
* Move somewhere you can afford

* Stay with your parents.
* Convince your parents to move somewhere cheaper and keep their place or use their profit for a deposit.

[Deleted User]

The choices for adults. 

Do something.
Do nothing.


Take the leap. If you get it wrong, start again. 

littlemissbliss

[Deleted User] said:

Hi there,

I am a 35yo male from the UK. I’ve lived in houseshares in London for most of my adult life. I recently moved home because I became tired of living out of a bedroom in a rental home and rent prices kept increasing. 

I feel far too old to be at home but I don’t know where else to turn. I earn £40k a year and have £30k savings. I don’t earn enough to buy a property and I don’t earn enough to rent a one bed property. I feel lost and don’t know where to turn. My family say “just wait and something will come along”. I know it won’t, as things only get harder in this country. 

My life is on hold because I feel unable to start new relationships while living with my parents. It keeps me in a state of depression and disenchantment. 

What am I supposed to do? I’m genuinely at the end of my tether. I feel there’s no options at all for me to live like a professional adult. 

Goodness you could defiantly buy. I just bought a 2 bed flat in Chelmsford essex which has great transport links. into London. I only had 20k savings at the time (all be it on slightly higher wage). I moved back with my partents during the sale and now have 30k savings. 

Try opting for Essex or Kent. You are not going to be in the location you like and it may be a fixer upper - but hey it will be your own space. 

snooksnj1

RHemmings said:

lincroft1710 said:

wildbilljones said:

Purbeck14 said:

A couple on 'Location, location, location' last night put their requirements into AI (Chatgpt?) and it produced  the 'perfect location' for them, Phil found them a house there. Of course it does help when you have 700K! Might be an interesting little experiment to try though. 

EDIT as I've just read a bit of your previous thread, where you state  your type of work and really London being where that  work is but that you didn't feel able or willing to pay commuting costs too far out. So really travelling  a distance to continue working in London doesn't seem feasible for you? Which is fair enough. 

I think the UK isn’t really the right place for long commutes. I know some people can accept paying 6-10k a year just on getting to their office but I find that to be unethical and defeating the purpose of public transport. 

. 

Sorry, but how can people spending £6K - £10K on getting to their office be "unethical and defeating the purpose of public transport"?? Do you think these people should commute by car and cause even more traffic congestion? Go to St Albans on any weekday before 9.00 am and see how many people get on the London trains. Imagine all those people driving into London.

I'm not the person you asked, but my take on @[Deleted User]' statement and your question about it is that like certain other things such as healthcare, perhaps transport should be subsidised by central government enough that it is available to all at a reasonable price. As it is in quite a few other countries. The alternative is not more cars, but cheaper trains and potentially other public transport.

When thinking about this thread, I looked up the price of a season ticket on GWR from Swindon to London. I was gob-smacked as to how expensive it was. I hope that I made an error and got the wrong price, because otherwise that public transport is certainly not available to all. 

You got it right and that's why we decided not to move to Swindon. 

Slinky

I'm just wondering if the dissatisfaction with your current lifestyle is more to do with a lack of a romantic relationship in your life? If you don't have the partner you want, sometimes the only thing you can do is fiddle with things you can change, like your job, your location, etc, because a relationship requires you finding that right person to have it with, and that isn't always easy. 

I know you mentioned previously you don't feel you are able to conduct a relationship with somebody as a person living at home with their parents, but if you found yourself being happier through spending time with another person, perhaps you would feel your life had more purpose and you could focus on moving in a shared direction.  

Maybe you could consider trying to find that special person now, rather than waiting for that 'perfect' time when you have a home of your own. Sods law will be they live somewhere completely different to where you plan to move to.

lincroft1710

wildbilljones said:

lincroft1710 said:

wildbilljones said:

lincroft1710 said:

wildbilljones said:

Purbeck14 said:

A couple on 'Location, location, location' last night put their requirements into AI (Chatgpt?) and it produced  the 'perfect location' for them, Phil found them a house there. Of course it does help when you have 700K! Might be an interesting little experiment to try though. 

EDIT as I've just read a bit of your previous thread, where you state  your type of work and really London being where that  work is but that you didn't feel able or willing to pay commuting costs too far out. So really travelling  a distance to continue working in London doesn't seem feasible for you? Which is fair enough. 

I think the UK isn’t really the right place for long commutes. I know some people can accept paying 6-10k a year just on getting to their office but I find that to be unethical and defeating the purpose of public transport. 

. 

Sorry, but how can people spending £6K - £10K on getting to their office be "unethical and defeating the purpose of public transport"?? Do you think these people should commute by car and cause even more traffic congestion? Go to St Albans on any weekday before 9.00 am and see how many people get on the London trains. Imagine all those people driving into London.

Because it's extortionate. It doesn't happen in other countries because they wouldn't accept it. I currently live just outside London and it costs me 560GBP a month to go into the office (If i go in five days a week). 

Public transport should be affordable or free. 

What do you consider affordable? How many countries have free public transport other than over very short distances? 


How would you finance free public transport for everybody? Where would the money come from, because you are talking billions of pounds annually? Why should ordinary taxpayers subsidise commuters, because that is what would happen. As I said in a previous post, pensioner bus passes benefits are being eroded, for example you have to pay one pound if you travel before 9.30 am on the bus.  


Don't get me wrong! Free public transport is a fantastic idea in theory, but in practice about as likely to happen as your next door neighbour being an advance member of a party of invading Martians!


Finally as you are so passionate about this, have you written to your MP to elicit their views on the matter?

If you'r going to pretend that it's reasonable for people to have to pay over 400 a month to get to work in central London from Hemel Hempstead, then you're welcome to do so. I've no interest in having a debate about it. 

There are hundreds of thousands of people who commute to London by train daily from Beds, Bucks, Cambs, Essex, Herts, Kent, Surrey, Sussex. If the fares are so unreasonable then why haven't they started petitions demanding lower fares.


As I see it you have a choice in no particular order


1. Stay in London with parents or house share


2. Buy/rent within commutable distance of London, but pay (in your opinion) unreasonable fares


3. Move to a different part of the country where you can find  suitable work, afford to buy/rent and do not have unreasonable commuting cost


4. Find a job which pays you enough to buy/rent in London