Flying solo

twiggy86

Oh god, my bloody anxiety is bad at the moment! Feel like I'm buggering everything up with bf and I just need to snap out of it! I think it's because he's away visiting family for a few days this week and I'm worried he's going to change his mind about everything! He has done nothing to trigger this but I said I felt like I was annoying him and it just sent me further spiraling down my little anxiety hole as he wanted to know why and what he'd done! Grrr, emotions/ hormones are horrible! Anyway, trying to snap myself out of it (easier said than done!) I'm going round a friend's tonight, so hopefully that will cheer me up a bit - or at least give me the chance to gossip if nothing else! 

Right, so that's my pity party done. On to today's bits and bobs... 

• Clear out car and find V5 form as pick up my new car tomorrow 
• Take leftover lasagna to work for lunch
  
• Update spreadsheet - to reflect a NSD yesterday!  
• Claim £1.19 from TCB 
• Charge phone at work 
  
• Have a rummage in the freezer for meals this week e.g. remembered that I have a single portion of fajitas so that can be tomorrow's dinner 
• Work out meal plan 
• Write shopping list for the week
• Pop to shop for a couple of bits (will do proper shop another time - maybe tomorrow before work)
• Quick dinner from stores before going round friends 

Sarahwithlove

Is it just general anxiety or has he done something to trigger it? Hope you feel reassured once he's back 

twiggy86

He genuinely hasn't done anything that I can pinpoint to trigger it, so I think it's just my brain beating me up! My brain is telling me something along the lines of... "Oh when he gets some space from you, he'll realise you're not what he wants". This is after yesterday as he was off and at home with his daughter, he did weeding, some painting, cooked me dinner etc... i.e. nothing that indicates he isn't planning on sticking around!  

_Dolly_Rocker_

Ah lovely sorry you're feeling like that and hope it passes soon. 

Purplelady65

I think you said your previous relationship was 16 years long? This is a very new relationship by those timescales and I think you might just be feeling a bit insecure at the moment, which is natural in a new relationship and given how your previous relationship ended. I’m sure you’ll feel better in a day or so. 

twiggy86

Thank you for your comments. My friend came over last night and we had a good chat and it helped me unpick some of the reasons that I think have caused the anxiousness - including as you said @Purplelady65 what happened with ex. I had a video call with bf this morning which was nice and I'm definitely feeling less anxious today. 

In any event it was lovely to see her and have a gossip! I also managed to wash the bedding on a quick 30 degree wash and hang on the airer as I was home (wasn't sure if I was going to her). Also had a rummage in the freezer and I think other than some bread, I can get by on the food I've got in the house - so will probably do a "proper" shop on Friday or Saturday before bf gets home. I took some leftover beef fajita mix out of the freezer last night so have bought that to work with some rice for my lunch - will just have a toasted muffin or something for dinner when I get home after acro tonight. 

Today's bits and bobs....

• Take lunch to work
• Take clothes for acro to work - plus my swimming costume in case I fancy a swim in the sea before/ after acro (a few people do this if the weather's nice)
• Collect parcel on way to work 
• Update spreadsheet 
• COLLECT NEW CAR! (not MSE but exciting!)
• Work out what I need to sort re new car (e.g. insurance)
• Go to acro/ beach straight from work 
• Small bite to eat when I get home late 

Sarahwithlove

I'm glad you are feeling better after a chat with your friend. 

twiggy86

I opted not to both with acro last night as it was raining all afternoon and I wasn't convinced it would stop! (Meet-up is outside) Of course, it did stop in time but the grass would have been wet and in the end nobody bothered - so it was a good call not to hang around for it (as I wouldn't have gone home from work first). Instead I had a quiet night at home and did some crochet in front of the TV. It was needed and delightful! And resulted in a NSD! 

I still only had toasted muffins for dinner as I'd had a "proper" lunch. I also chatted to my mum and my friend - friend has invited me round for dinner on Friday! That does mean that I have "failed" in my plan to use up stuff in the freezer though as I'm out for a curry tonight after netball, friend's for dinner tomorrow and then bf will be back on Saturday!! I intend to make the limited food I have in the house last until Saturday morning when I will do a food shop - I have one wrap left, a cooked chicken breast and some slightly wilted salad leaves so that will be my lunch tomorrow!

Today's bits and pieces include... 

• Load of washing on 30 degree quick wash 
• Hang washing on airer
• Make lunch to take to work 
• Update spreadsheet (to reflect NSD!) 
• Work on crochet present at lunch 
• Start on shopping list 
• Sort out car insurance (I used "drive-away" insurance yesterday which expires at midnight tonight) 
• Park for free at netball 
• Take home any leftovers of curry 

twiggy86

Managed to switch over the car insurance online with no fees or additional costs, so that's good! Also realised that I pay for my car tax monthly (£15) but I won't have to do this for the first year of the new car as it's built into the price. From what the guy said yesterday, I don't think the finance amount will be taken for either old/ new car this month (usually comes out towards the end of the month) - however I will leave it sat there, include the new amount in the budget for next month and see what happens! I can always shuffle somewhere in the future if it isn't taken! 

Floss

Just to say, remember to save for next year's road tax so you can pay it in one go 😉