Late mother's estate

mulber

Savvy_Sue said:

Dave_5150 said:

mulber said:

There is no executor just a solicitor administering the estate on behalf of all three beneficiares. The siblings did this without telling me or the solicitor 

Who appointed the solicitor?

This: did YOU appoint the solicitor, or did one or both of the other two appoint the solicitor? If all three of you acted together, then I'd agree with the solicitor, majority rules. If one of them did, then he's following instructions from his client and paying this bill. Only if YOU appointed the solicitor, acting alone, might you have an argument. 

AND who owns the grave? They get final say on any monument. 

But if you're not willing to pay for this, how much do you think it will cost you to change it? They don't come cheap. 

The court appointed the solicitor. 

mulber

x_raphael_xx said:

mulber said:

I can't believe that I have no say over this and siblings can spend my inheritance without consulting me. 

To be fair, its not just your inheritance. It's theirs as well.

Of course and they can spend theirs on whatever they wish but don't understand why I'm not allowed to do the same. 

Marcon

mulber said:

Savvy_Sue said:

Dave_5150 said:

mulber said:

There is no executor just a solicitor administering the estate on behalf of all three beneficiares. The siblings did this without telling me or the solicitor 

Who appointed the solicitor?

This: did YOU appoint the solicitor, or did one or both of the other two appoint the solicitor? If all three of you acted together, then I'd agree with the solicitor, majority rules. If one of them did, then he's following instructions from his client and paying this bill. Only if YOU appointed the solicitor, acting alone, might you have an argument. 

AND who owns the grave? They get final say on any monument. 

But if you're not willing to pay for this, how much do you think it will cost you to change it? They don't come cheap. 

The court appointed the solicitor. 

Why? If ever there was an unnecessary expense, that is surely it when any or all of the three offspring could have applied...couldn't they? I think there might be more to this than meets the eye.

mulber

Marcon said:

mulber said:

Savvy_Sue said:

Dave_5150 said:

mulber said:

There is no executor just a solicitor administering the estate on behalf of all three beneficiares. The siblings did this without telling me or the solicitor 

Who appointed the solicitor?

This: did YOU appoint the solicitor, or did one or both of the other two appoint the solicitor? If all three of you acted together, then I'd agree with the solicitor, majority rules. If one of them did, then he's following instructions from his client and paying this bill. Only if YOU appointed the solicitor, acting alone, might you have an argument. 

AND who owns the grave? They get final say on any monument. 

But if you're not willing to pay for this, how much do you think it will cost you to change it? They don't come cheap. 

The court appointed the solicitor. 

Why? If ever there was an unnecessary expense, that is surely it when any or all of the three offspring could have applied...couldn't they? I think there might be more to this than meets the eye.

There's nothing more to the story other none of us wanted each other to be the executor and due to disagreement the court appointed an independent to administer the estate. 

Linton

Is the cost worth the potential disruption to family relationships?

Also, it is not your inheritance yet. It is your mother’s estate under the management of the administrator.

Keep_pedalling

mulber said:

Marcon said:

mulber said:

Savvy_Sue said:

Dave_5150 said:

mulber said:

There is no executor just a solicitor administering the estate on behalf of all three beneficiares. The siblings did this without telling me or the solicitor 

Who appointed the solicitor?

This: did YOU appoint the solicitor, or did one or both of the other two appoint the solicitor? If all three of you acted together, then I'd agree with the solicitor, majority rules. If one of them did, then he's following instructions from his client and paying this bill. Only if YOU appointed the solicitor, acting alone, might you have an argument. 

AND who owns the grave? They get final say on any monument. 

But if you're not willing to pay for this, how much do you think it will cost you to change it? They don't come cheap. 

The court appointed the solicitor. 

Why? If ever there was an unnecessary expense, that is surely it when any or all of the three offspring could have applied...couldn't they? I think there might be more to this than meets the eye.

There's nothing more to the story other none of us wanted each other to be the executor and due to disagreement the court appointed an independent to administer the estate. 

The grey area here is that the beneficiaries get their inheritance after funeral costs. Funeral costs must be reasonable but there is no definition on what is reasonable so it is open to interpretation and will very much depend on the overall value of the estate. Wherever the rights and wrongs of this are fighting it is only going to use up more of the estate in what already sounds like a very expensive legal bill.

My advice is to let it go and get some closure.

Marcon

Linton said:

Is the cost worth the potential disruption to family relationships?

Also, it is not your inheritance yet. It is your mother’s estate under the management of the administrator.

I fear that ship sailed long ago, judging by this post:

mulber said:

The court appointed the solicitor. 

Why? If ever there was an unnecessary expense, that is surely it when any or all of the three offspring could have applied...couldn't they? I think there might be more to this than meets the eye.

There's nothing more to the story other none of us wanted each other to be the executor and due to disagreement the court appointed an independent to administer the estate. 

msb1234

I can imagine a portion of the estate has already been consumed by legal costs as you and your siblings cannot agree. The headstone is a done deal - if you want it changing, and your siblings dont agree, you’ll be the one forking out yet more money to have it changed. 
I think it’s time to let bygones be bygones and accept that not everyone can have their own way. 

mulber

Keep_pedalling said:

Approval for such expenditure needs to be given by the residual beneficiaries unless there is a clause in the will directing the executors to purchase a gravestone.

if all of you are all residue beneficiaries and you did not give your permission for it then you should not have to contribute to the cost from your share of the estate. Reply to this letter saying you were not consulted about the headstone and if you had been you would not have given your permission. The solicitor should then deduct that particular expense from your siblings share only.

Thanks for your response. It's difficult to get anything legal on this but have came across this 
https://probaters.com/executors-beware-headstones/#:~:text=The danger for the will,of the headstone or memorial.

Dave_5150

The apponted solicitor has made their position clear. They expect funeral costs including the headstone to be paid as an estate debt before distributing any residue in a three way equal split.

You can write to them and explain why you feel you shouldn't feel you shouldn't contribute. They will reply to you restating their position and charge the estate for that work..

After that you would need to instruct and pay for your own solicitor. Their fees will soon exceed the cost of your third of the headstone.

This is a money saving forum and the most cost effective option is likely to be accepting the situation.