Late mother's estate

mulber

Hi, hoping for some help 

I have received a letter from the solicitor dealing with my late mother's estate. He has outlined the estate debts and one of them is for a gravestone that I knew nothing about. I thought he'd made a mistake but apparently my 2 siblings ordered this headstone and solicitor has paid for it from the estate.
I am really upset by my siblings action and went to the graveyard to see the gravestone and it's horrible. There was already a headstone there that my grandmother bought when my grandfather died over 60 years ago and I liked the fact that the headstone remained through the generations. I feel its an act of vandalism on the siblings part. 
I want nothing to do with the new headstone and told the lawyer that I'm not prepared to pay for this gravestone from my inheritance but he says it's a funeral cost and that the majority of beneficiares agreed to it so "majority rules". There was no will.
I can't believe that I have no say over this and siblings can spend my inheritance without consulting me. 

GoogleMeNow

Who is the Administrator - all the siblings, just one or two of the siblings, or the solicitor?

It might have made sense to discuss the purchase of the gravestone with you, but as a debt to the estate, it does need to be paid out of estate monies.  All debts need to be settled before any distribution of funds can take place.

I am assuming that the rules of intestacy mean that the entire estate and what's left after expenses/settlement of debts is equally split three ways between the direct descendants, i.e. the children?

Keep_pedalling

Approval for such expenditure needs to be given by the residual beneficiaries unless there is a clause in the will directing the executors to purchase a gravestone.

if all of you are all residue beneficiaries and you did not give your permission for it then you should not have to contribute to the cost from your share of the estate. Reply to this letter saying you were not consulted about the headstone and if you had been you would not have given your permission. The solicitor should then deduct that particular expense from your siblings share only.

mulber

GoogleMeNow said:

Who is the Administrator - all the siblings, just one or two of the siblings, or the solicitor?

It might have made sense to discuss the purchase of the gravestone with you, but as a debt to the estate, it does need to be paid out of estate monies.  All debts need to be settled before any distribution of funds can take place.

I am assuming that the rules of intestacy mean that the entire estate and what's left after expenses/settlement of debts is equally split three ways between the direct descendants, i.e. the children?

There is no executor just a solicitor administering the estate on behalf of all three beneficiares. The siblings did this without telling me or the solicitor 

mulber

Keep_pedalling said:

Approval for such expenditure needs to be given by the residual beneficiaries unless there is a clause in the will directing the executors to purchase a gravestone.

if all of you are all residue beneficiaries and you did not give your permission for it then you should not have to contribute to the cost from your share of the estate. Reply to this letter saying you were not consulted about the headstone and if you had been you would not have given your permission. The solicitor should then deduct that particular expense from your siblings share only.

I did email the solicitor to put my points across but he said that I had no say as the majority of the beneficiaries agreed to it. 

msb1234

Did your mum have a will? If not, I’m assuming the solicitor has been brought in to administer the estate? 

Dave_5150

mulber said:

There is no executor just a solicitor administering the estate on behalf of all three beneficiares. The siblings did this without telling me or the solicitor 

Who appointed the solicitor?

McKneff

There is no will. 
It says so in the original post

Brie

One person's horror headstone is another's wonderful monument.  My family decided my dad (a dentist) would like a huge molar on top of his stone.  I think it's hideous.  I think though that my dad might (should he have an opinion 20 years after he died) think it's a hoot.  Then again as an atheist his opinion is unlikely to register anywhere.  

All of which is to say I quite get that you don't like it and disagree but as it's done I think it best to move on.  Lay flowers at the family headstone and don't worry about what your family members have come up with.

x_raphael_xx

mulber said:

I can't believe that I have no say over this and siblings can spend my inheritance without consulting me. 

To be fair, its not just your inheritance. It's theirs as well.

Savvy_Sue

Dave_5150 said:

mulber said:

There is no executor just a solicitor administering the estate on behalf of all three beneficiares. The siblings did this without telling me or the solicitor 

Who appointed the solicitor?

This: did YOU appoint the solicitor, or did one or both of the other two appoint the solicitor? If all three of you acted together, then I'd agree with the solicitor, majority rules. If one of them did, then he's following instructions from his client and paying this bill. Only if YOU appointed the solicitor, acting alone, might you have an argument. 

AND who owns the grave? They get final say on any monument. 

But if you're not willing to pay for this, how much do you think it will cost you to change it? They don't come cheap.