Noisy neighbour

butterflysky12

Hi, just wondering if anyone has any advice please? I moved into a rented semi-detached property in June this year. My neighbour (male in his late 20’s) seemed polite and welcomed me at first, there were no issues. Over the past month or so things seem to have gotten worse and I’m wondering if I’m overreacting or not and what I should do about it (if not). 

First off, he no longer speaks to me or makes eye contact. A few times I have been outside at the same time as him and he has made sure to avoid me. The last time I saw him outside the house, he seemed to glare at me and then go inside and slam the door. Nothing I can do about this I know but thought it was worth mentioning! 

Secondly, he has started coming home at 3-4am and he will have the music from his car blasting so loud. Once on the drive, he won’t go in the house immediately so he is just sat blasting music for a while. When he does enter the house he slams the door so loud that it shakes the house and then proceeds to stomp through the house and slam things. I know that with living in a semi, some noise is expected but I don’t always hear him walking about/leaving/entering the house at other times so it’s clear he CAN be quiet but during the night chooses not to. 

Some days he has people constantly coming and going from the house, this is fine however he will have them in the house until 1-2am and the noise is unbearable. There will be shouting, slamming, banging and then when they leave he will go out into the street with them and be shouting across the road. 

Recently he has also started having his friends pull up in their cars on the street, they will pull up next to each other and block the road (it’s not a busy road and eventually leads to a cul-de-sac). They will sit in their cars for approx 20-30 minutes and have music blasting whilst shouting to each other through the windows. They also get out of their cars and appear to film/take photos of each other next to their cars whilst smoking cigarettes/weed (I can’t tell what it is). This has occurred during the day and also late at night (approx 11pm). It seems odd behaviour in general however these are quite expensive cars they drive so it looks like they are taking photos/videos to show off. I’ve seen them stood on my wall outside my front garden trying to get better pictures of their cars. I don’t understand why they would do this late at night, we have elderly people living on this street as well as people with young children and it seems so disrespectful (not to mention annoying).  I hate to bring race into the picture but they are all asian (Muslim) males so I’m not sure if this is normal in their culture. 

To add, I’m a female in my 20’s who lives alone. I find having groups of men outside the house quite intimidating late at night but I’m not sure what I can do about it or if anything can actually be done about it. I’ve just moved from a semi where the neighbour was constantly screaming at his child and overall he was not a very decent human being so I’m gutted that my new home isn’t more peaceful. 

Schwarzwald

Noise sensitivity varies strongly across people so what others tolerate, others can’t bear.

Me personally, I (and my close friends/partner) know that I am highly noise sensitive and it really drains energy out of me.

Having said that, there might be an element of (a) You problem and (b) Him problem.

You disliking groups of men outside your house / on the street is definitely more a You problem, you are not entitled to a men-free zone unless you move into a women’s shelter. That you live alone which might make you more anxious in regard to having men around is also a You problem, not for others to take care of as harsh as it may sound, sorry.

Him playing music loudly while on the drive at night, sounds like him being very ignorant and like a Him problem.

Running out at night scolding him in front of his friends probably will not yield much outcome.

Trying to have a conversation with him during the day when he is alone asking kindly to keep the music down after 11pm might yield a better outcome, but not guaranteed.

I don’t think race and religion has much to do with it, males, but also females (often in their 20-30s) using status symbols like cars and blasting loud music to show off can really be seen across all races and cultures. Just go to a restaurant or use public transport, the amount of people watching/listening to shows/music on their phones using speakers is incredible, and this is males/females of all ages and races - ignorance doesnt discriminate!

I would put it down mostly to immaturity and insecurities.

MultiFuelBurner

You are young and will have several moments in your live whether to kick up a fuss or not.

No one can tell you what is right or wrong.

There are no laws about groups of lads outside your and you neighbours house.

The late night nois on the driveway and slamming doors may not even constitute a noise disturbance but to take this forward (search this forum nothing rarely happens getting the council involved) contact your local authority and keep a diary or how often and duration and times and dates etc.

It may be better to invest in some good earplugs for the nighttime.

You have also bought race (Muslim) and weed into your description but do you know any of this for certain?

Maybe your neighbour is picking up on your vibes towards him and his friends?

sheramber

How do other neighbours in the street feel about it?

NameUnavailable

A few suggestions - speak to him about the late night noise, explain that he's waking you up when he plays loud music in the car at 3am and the slamming of doors etc. He may not be at all aware of the noise he's making.

You could complain to your landlord and ask them to have a word - if they don't then you could make a formal complaint to the council and write to the landlord informing them (if they ever wanted to sell the property they would then have to declare the issue).

If this guy is coming home at 3/4 am what time does he get up? Assuming he likes to get enough sleep he probably doesn't want to wake up until 10-12am so get up and put loud music on and slam doors!

Ultimately as you are renting consider moving.

sevenhills

butterflysky12 said:

To add, I’m a female in my 20’s who lives alone. I find having groups of men outside the house quite intimidating late at night but I’m not sure what I can do about it or if anything can actually be done about it. I’ve just moved from a semi where the neighbour was constantly screaming at his child and overall he was not a very decent human being so I’m gutted that my new home isn’t more peaceful. 

You seem like a sensitive person; I don't believe you complaining will help the situation. Some people wear earpieces or headphones/plugs, is that an option?

jj_43

Nothing about that behaviour is normal or should be tolerated. As you rent best would to move into a nicer neighbourhood where people know how to behave.

butterflysky12

Schwarzwald said:

Noise sensitivity varies strongly across people so what others tolerate, others can’t bear.

Me personally, I (and my close friends/partner) know that I am highly noise sensitive and it really drains energy out of me.

Having said that, there might be an element of (a) You problem and (b) Him problem.

You disliking groups of men outside your house / on the street is definitely more a You problem, you are not entitled to a men-free zone unless you move into a women’s shelter. That you live alone which might make you more anxious in regard to having men around is also a You problem, not for others to take care of as harsh as it may sound, sorry.

Him playing music loudly while on the drive at night, sounds like him being very ignorant and like a Him problem.

Running out at night scolding him in front of his friends probably will not yield much outcome.

Trying to have a conversation with him during the day when he is alone asking kindly to keep the music down after 11pm might yield a better outcome, but not guaranteed.

I don’t think race and religion has much to do with it, males, but also females (often in their 20-30s) using status symbols like cars and blasting loud music to show off can really be seen across all races and cultures. Just go to a restaurant or use public transport, the amount of people watching/listening to shows/music on their phones using speakers is incredible, and this is males/females of all ages and races - ignorance doesnt discriminate!

I would put it down mostly to immaturity and insecurities.

Thanks for your reply and suggestions. I don’t think it’s necessary for me to look into moving to a women’s shelter, my point is that having groups of men outside the house blasting music from their cars late at night whilst climbing onto the walls in my garden is intimidating, disturbing and also feels a little intrusive. 

I’m not sure I feel comfortable approaching him at any time of day due to his demeanour and attitude. When my family members have come to visit they have commented on how rude he appears to be so it’s not just me he seems to have an issue with.

butterflysky12

sheramber said:

How do other neighbours in the street feel about it?

I was considering speaking to them but wanted to put a feeler out for advice first. Yesterday it was the same where he had blocked the road with his friends, music blasting and they seemed to be filming each other stood next to their cars and I could see a neighbour opposite watching from her window. I’m thinking of speaking to them to see how they feel. 

butterflysky12

MultiFuelBurner said:

You are young and will have several moments in your live whether to kick up a fuss or not.

No one can tell you what is right or wrong.

There are no laws about groups of lads outside your and you neighbours house.

The late night nois on the driveway and slamming doors may not even constitute a noise disturbance but to take this forward (search this forum nothing rarely happens getting the council involved) contact your local authority and keep a diary or how often and duration and times and dates etc.

It may be better to invest in some good earplugs for the nighttime.

You have also bought race (Muslim) and weed into your description but do you know any of this for certain?

Maybe your neighbour is picking up on your vibes towards him and his friends?

Thanks for your comment. I have started keeping a diary as I know the council will request this if I decide to report however I am also aware they are usually reluctant to get involved. 

He’s definitely Muslim however overall that isn’t really relevant, the only reason I mentioned this was because I have never seen groups of grown men block ‘quiet’ streets in their cars and blast music late at night whilst recording themselves/taking photos - wasn’t sure if this was a culture thing. I’ve known boy racers to park in car parks and perhaps do similar things but never in a residential area. I did put in my original post I am not sure whether it is weed or cigarettes that are being smoked - this isn’t really the biggest issue here though for me. 

Respectfully, unless my neighbour is psychic, I’m not sure what vibes him and his friends will have picked up from me. I’ve never made myself known to them when this occurs and I try and keep my head down. A few times when I have seen him I have tried to make eye contact, say hello, smile etc in the hopes that I can eventually bring up the issue but he turns away or heads straight into the house (with an added slam of the door). I’m not confrontational, if anything I try to be the opposite, especially with those I live close to. Me and my neighbour on the other side have a great relationship, he brought me over a home-cooked curry when I moved in, we speak frequently and always acknowledge one another.

_Penny_Dreadful

I’m curious about what the other neighbours think as well. Even if my house wasn’t attached them as another resident in the cul-de-sac I would not be impressed with loud cars and music blasting in the street in the wee small hours.