The other parent demands access and equal decision making in respect of Junior ISA / SIPP accounts

greengrizzly

Hi all - apologies for a long read.

I have a Junior ISA and a Junior SIPP for both my children (older primary school aged). I contribute a regular amount every month to each, and now, that they are older, also use it as an educational tool to explain about the importance of savings, how pensions work, and different types of investments.

I am divorced from the children's father for pretty much all their life (he left when I was pregnant with the youngest and the oldest was a toddler). He saw the children for a few days over the summer holidays, they apparently told him that they have these accounts opened for them, and he got really annoyed and requested equal guardianship of the accounts and an equal right to choose investments. I did not answer anything (ignored him for a month basically), so he has written now to the custodian (of ISA/SIPP accounts) to freeze all activity on accounts until the court decision is made (or at least he told me so, "putting me on notice") and applied to the family court for a specific issue order on this matter - i.e. for investments to be chosen by a joint decision of parents only.

He does not and has never paid any maintenance apart from the first 4 months after the divorce (and then it was minimal), and does not really see them often (his own choice). The absolute max contribution to these accounts he can claim is when his parents send £20 in a postcard for children's birthday, sometimes the children choose to invest it (I then just "execute" their order in their presence, and we discuss pros and cons of different types of investments, green and ethical finance, how investing money changes the economy - actually, quite fun). All contributions from his parents in total definitely come to under £100 over the whole period. He claims in his court petition that his family have contributed to these accounts through cash gifts, but very conveniently forgets to mention the number (it is also written in such an elegant and evasive way that it reads like they have contributed the absolute majority of it, and that they are not even sure whether I did not steal any for myself).

I know he's unable to transfer the money out of the accounts in any case as they legally belong to the children, but it is just such an additional headache in my life. He is very controlling (you probably can tell already, right?) and is not an easy person to negotiate about anything with at all, perceiving compromise as a personal failure. It is not that I don't appreciate advice or a discussion on the matter, but I am actually professionally qualified in the area, and he's more a penny-stock / crypto-bro / get-rich-quick type of guy, so it is so unlikely that we will find any common ground at all. Not trying to be dismissive of his views, just that I genuinely don't see it working in a productive way.

Any thoughts from anyone whether it would fly in the court at all? Technically from the moment the money hit the account, it belongs to the children and not the contributing parent, so it looks like his demand could be valid? We are discussing amounts like £15K each in ISA and £20K each in SIPP (rounded up/down to the nearest pretty number), not multi-generational trust fund levels.

I so, so much do not want to instruct a solicitor as it will be thousands of pounds just thrown down the drain on absolutely pointless litigation. Any idea how to resolve the situation that does not involve actually doing what he asked for? I am quite angry at the moment and cannot see a rational way out.

Dave_5150

greengrizzly said:

I so, so much do not want to instruct a solicitor as it will be thousands of pounds just thrown down the drain on absolutely pointless litigation. Any idea how to resolve the situation that does not involve actually doing what he asked for? I am quite angry at the moment and cannot see a rational way out.

Continue igoring him? 

sheramber

he is probably counting on you not wanting to involve a solicitor.

Ignore him until you get correspondence from the court.

marcia_

 Agree ignore hes probably bluffing and counting on you buckling 

Keep_pedalling

Ignore him this is never going to get near a court and if he actually goes to see a solicitor, which I doubt, he will hopefully be told he is totally wasting everyone’s time.

Alternatively, tell him you are delighted in his interests in his children’s finances and you will be happy to go along with any investments he suggests for any contribution h e wants to make to these accounts.

T.T.D

I fail to see how a random letter from a person whom has no authority to place an account on hold at any isa provider would have any effect on how it’s used. 

Unless there is a signed court order the ISA provider will or should simply just ignore it. He’s not a named person of control of the account.

As your primary parent and yes equal parental responsibilities but that doesn’t mean equatable right of responsibilities, I can’t see how a court would hand him equal decision making powers on specific investments or transfers or even withdrawals, he’s deluded, he’s wasting his money.

just file a claim child maintenance claim with CMS and let them do the rest. If he wants to know what real responsibilities look like he can get involved fully.

greengrizzly

T.T.D said:

I fail to see how a random letter from a person whom has no authority to place an account on hold at any isa provider would have any effect on how it’s used. 

Unless there is a signed court order the ISA provider will or should simply just ignore it. He’s not a named person of control of the account.

As your primary parent and yes equal parental responsibilities but that doesn’t mean equatable right of responsibilities, I can’t see how a court would hand him equal decision making powers on specific investments or transfers or even withdrawals, he’s deluded, he’s wasting his money.

just file a claim child maintenance claim with CMS and let them do the rest. If he wants to know what real responsibilities look like he can get involved fully.

Thank you. Unfortunately, have been to the end of CMS process, took a few years, resulting in a nil assessment. Child maintenance can be attached only to the PAYE income reliably, not to ad-hoc dividends or other "help" from the family.
The issue is already with the court, it is not just random letters stage.

greengrizzly

Keep_pedalling said:

Ignore him this is never going to get near a court and if he actually goes to see a solicitor, which I doubt, he will hopefully be told he is totally wasting everyone’s time.

Alternatively, tell him you are delighted in his interests in his children’s finances and you will be happy to go along with any investments he suggests for any contribution h e wants to make to these accounts.

Sorry I wasn't probably clear, it is already at court stage. I had an initial consultation with a family law solicitor, they were quite keen to take this on, quoted 10-20K for the whole case up to the final hearing (depending on the need to instruct a barrister etc), that's why I am a bit mind blown. He apparently had a mediation meeting by himself that I was not even invited too, they just decided together with the mediator that there's no chance of peaceful resolution at all.

The only good thing is that the solicitor told me it probably will be up to a year until this gets to an actual hearing, due to the current backlog (not sure if true or not).

Spendless

I would ask on the banking part of this forum about the rules surrounding the accounts. Am I correct in thinking that they are similar to the old Child Trust Funds when once the money is deposited it can't be drawn out again until the child becomes 18? If so, I can't see that he has any say, but that's just my opinion. He sounds a nightmare - hope you get it resolved.  

greengrizzly

Spendless said:

I would ask on the banking part of this forum about the rules surrounding the accounts. Am I correct in thinking that they are similar to the old Child Trust Funds when once the money is deposited it can't be drawn out again until the child becomes 18? If so, I can't see that he has any say, but that's just my opinion. He sounds a nightmare - hope you get it resolved.  

Yes, that's correct, once the money is in it is there until 18, and only the child themselves can withdraw it.

Keep_pedalling

Wow! I am surprised it has got this far.

You  sound like a pretty clued up person, so if it comes to it consider representing yourself in court. Do some research on this there are quite a few websites that provide advice on this and there are some organisations that can help and there are professional McKenzie Friends who can assist if you help.

https://www.legalchoices.org.uk/types-of-lawyers/other-lawyers/mckenzie-friends