Chatty colleagues

theoretica

Would headphones be acceptable in your workplace and would they help you?

bigbars

Some very good points here, really love the variety of opinions.

I use the headphones method. And engage as and when. Don’t feel pressured into joining in, but above all else, don’t let your work suffer. Because that is your benchmark, if all else fails, nod and smile. An example is Monday morning football chat or weekend social chat. I used to hate it until I worked out how to manage myself out of the situation, headphones, a wander to the bathroom, water machine, phone call. 

Many ways out of it. Think of it like being a party and you’re stood next to someone you don’t want to talk to right now, it’s not forever just the moment. Oh if you do headphones, like me I would suggest one ear so you can’t be accused of ignoring or isolating.

Savvy_Sue

bigbarslj said:

Oh if you do headphones, like me I would suggest one ear so you can’t be accused of ignoring or isolating.

Maybe be aware of the dangers of just one earphone ...

https://empireears.com/blogs/news/why-you-should-never-wear-only-one-in-ear-monitor#:~:text=Wearing a single earphone increases,how your brain processes sound.

bigbars

Savvy_Sue said:

bigbarslj said:

Oh if you do headphones, like me I would suggest one ear so you can’t be accused of ignoring or isolating.

Maybe be aware of the dangers of just one earphone ...

https://empireears.com/blogs/news/why-you-should-never-wear-only-one-in-ear-monitor#:~:text=Wearing a single earphone increases,how your brain processes sound.

Interesting article, maybe rotate them around frequently. Or low volume, for me one ear low volume albeit background noise is easier to give the indication of still being approachable

El_Rey

Khaderbhai said:

This sounds like most offices (in my experience). The workload situation does seem a little strange that a manager and supervisor seem to have the time to chat frequently, but sounds like its part of the office environment at your place of work. 

I came to the conclusion that offices are not really for me, there is a lot of politics that go on and I am probably like you in that I am happy to get my head down and work, but people can be very distracting in an office environment, it’s all a bit strange but we were never designed for office environments. Hope this helps in some way?

What did you end up doing for a living once you realised offices are not really for you? 

Khaderbhai

El_Rey said:

Khaderbhai said:

This sounds like most offices (in my experience). The workload situation does seem a little strange that a manager and supervisor seem to have the time to chat frequently, but sounds like its part of the office environment at your place of work. 

I came to the conclusion that offices are not really for me, there is a lot of politics that go on and I am probably like you in that I am happy to get my head down and work, but people can be very distracting in an office environment, it’s all a bit strange but we were never designed for office environments. Hope this helps in some way?

What did you end up doing for a living once you realised offices are not really for you? 

Went fully remote. Its a work in progress, but for me I find this works best. I try and be social in other ways, eg in my local community, rather than just being a hermit!

El_Rey

Khaderbhai said:

El_Rey said:

Khaderbhai said:

This sounds like most offices (in my experience). The workload situation does seem a little strange that a manager and supervisor seem to have the time to chat frequently, but sounds like its part of the office environment at your place of work. 

I came to the conclusion that offices are not really for me, there is a lot of politics that go on and I am probably like you in that I am happy to get my head down and work, but people can be very distracting in an office environment, it’s all a bit strange but we were never designed for office environments. Hope this helps in some way?

What did you end up doing for a living once you realised offices are not really for you? 

Went fully remote. Its a work in progress, but for me I find this works best. I try and be social in other ways, eg in my local community, rather than just being a hermit!

Sounds good to me. What kind of work are you doing? 

Charlotte_Ca

I think in reality I'm jealous of them on the fun they have among them and me being the quite one that does the job. Like imagine a team and ppl are having chats and laughing and only one sitting just doing the job. How would that make you feel? I'm also scared that if they don't like me, then they might lay me off because I don't fit in.

I've been in a couple of jobs that I had a REALLY good relationship with my colleagues. I remember in one of them my supervisor and the colleague next to me were nice. My supervisor and I had such a good relationship that I would even send photos from my holiday etc. and my colleague omg we would tease each other, but our first focus was always working and then just a couple of mins of fun. Nothing compared to the extended chats my colleagues have now. The second job it was a temorary contract and after the first month then we didn't have things to do throughout the day so we were chatting a lot. We would talk about life and learn things like me coming from a different country I would ask things about the city, lifestyle etc.

As for the solution of using headphones, then that's not allowed in my company. We need to be able to hear each other because sometimes they talk about work. 

I always talk to all my office colleagues though in other circumstances. E.g when we are in the kitchen or if we meet each other on our way to work. Like I am capable of having a chat, but I just don't feel like chatting when I have things to do and when I just don't know what to say on they gossip they discuss.

Somebody said if there are other ppl who are also quite in the office. I think there must me a few, but they are in other teams and don't know how they get along.

Also, the other thing is that I don't know what they think about me. Like if they like me as I am etc. I've been praised about my job from both manager and supervisor and other colleagues to be honest. But, socially I don't know what they think about me and i'm not sure how they feel about the fact that I don't always understand what they say.

Suzycoll

Charlotte_Ca said:

I was wondering if anyone has had a similar situation and how you cope. I need some insight into this.

It's been less than a year I started a new job which I really like. The company is nice. The office is nice. And the people are nice.

My problem is that omg my colleagues are very very chatty including both the manager and supervisor. They talk all the time. They talk about what their kids did, what they ate and every other little thing in their lives.

Now... due to the fact that I'm rather new, I'm still learning so I don't have that extra confidence and security of the job. Whereas my colleagues they don't have much work to do. 

In the first few months I was just concentrating on my job as I had a lot of things to learn and was always having interaction with my supervisor as she was helping me etc. Now, that I've learned the job I pay more attention to the environment around and what others are doing and have noticed how chatty they are. 

I feel like an outsider because #1 I'm spanish so if I don't pay attention to somebody when they talk, I don't understand what they say. #2 I have nothing to say on the conversations they have. I don't feel like complaning on how much I'm eating or what's on the news. #3 It feel weird to be the only one in this team that remains silent most of the time while the others are talking. #4 I've got enough work to do!!

It becomes more akward when I have a question for my supervisor, but she is chatting and don't want to interupt so I have to wait for 5 mins sometimes until the conversation is done lol.

When I'm in the office, I cannot concetrate as much because of all the noise. 

They've been in this company for like 5 to 15 years so they are very established unlike me. And they are nice people, but I just don't feel very chatty with them as I've got work to do.

hi. This may be unhelpful but just try to ignore them. Can you use headphones ? even if you pretend you are listening to music - just say it helps you concentrate.

I have had this for years in my office. Its all nonsense they talk. I now put in my earphones when I'm working. I always make sure I have a little chat at start/end/breaks/corridor etc but otherwise its all white noise.

If you need to ask your supervisor something interrupt her politely with something like "sorry to disturb you but I need an answer to .... as it needs o be done now' . If you do it enough times she may get the hint. Sound like there is very little work going on by  the chatty people anyway.

I understand it takes a lot of confidence to do this but they will eventually get the hint . They already know you are a friendly person so you don't need to chat to them all the time . 

good luck 

Charlotte_Ca

Hi Suzycoll, I wish I could use earphones to listen to some music but we are not allowed.

I have to say that in the last couple of months I've been politely interrupting my supervisor or any other colleague I need for a work related questions if they are in the middle of just a chit chat and it has been working well. I never got any bad attitude or anything. I think they are happy to help. So, that's good news.

I also do what you said like I'm trying to have a short chat with people I meet in the kitchen or the colleagues who sit nearby me. But for the love of God, I seriously cannot deal with longer unmeaningful conversations about what they ate, what they are going to do in the evening, their hair etc. I do feel like the black sheep of the team, but I just cannot do the chit chat they do. It's not that I'm unsociable because seriously in my spare time I go out to meet people or on various social groups for walks, hikes etc and I do engage in conversations with people and I enjoy it. But in the office it's different. I hope they don't have a bad opinion about me for being like this.

I think it's anxiety that triggers some particular people to talk literally all the time, plus the like of work as it's been quite.