Chatty colleagues

Charlotte_Ca

I was wondering if anyone has had a similar situation and how you cope. I need some insight into this.

It's been less than a year I started a new job which I really like. The company is nice. The office is nice. And the people are nice.

My problem is that omg my colleagues are very very chatty including both the manager and supervisor. They talk all the time. They talk about what their kids did, what they ate and every other little thing in their lives.

Now... due to the fact that I'm rather new, I'm still learning so I don't have that extra confidence and security of the job. Whereas my colleagues they don't have much work to do. 

In the first few months I was just concentrating on my job as I had a lot of things to learn and was always having interaction with my supervisor as she was helping me etc. Now, that I've learned the job I pay more attention to the environment around and what others are doing and have noticed how chatty they are. 

I feel like an outsider because #1 I'm spanish so if I don't pay attention to somebody when they talk, I don't understand what they say. #2 I have nothing to say on the conversations they have. I don't feel like complaning on how much I'm eating or what's on the news. #3 It feel weird to be the only one in this team that remains silent most of the time while the others are talking. #4 I've got enough work to do!!

It becomes more akward when I have a question for my supervisor, but she is chatting and don't want to interupt so I have to wait for 5 mins sometimes until the conversation is done lol.

When I'm in the office, I cannot concetrate as much because of all the noise. 

They've been in this company for like 5 to 15 years so they are very established unlike me. And they are nice people, but I just don't feel very chatty with them as I've got work to do.

El_Torro

I'm not sure what the problem is. Some people like to chat a lot when at work, others like to just get on with it and leave on time / not too late after getting everything done. There's nothing wrong with being the second of those two. 

If nobody is trying to force you to take part in the conversations I don't see an issue. Either converse with them if you feel like it, or don't. 

You say it's sometimes hard to get your supervisor's attention when they're chatting. If it's urgent it shouldn't be a problem for you to interrupt, getting the job done is what you're all paid for after all. 

Khaderbhai

This sounds like most offices (in my experience). The workload situation does seem a little strange that a manager and supervisor seem to have the time to chat frequently, but sounds like its part of the office environment at your place of work. 

I came to the conclusion that offices are not really for me, there is a lot of politics that go on and I am probably like you in that I am happy to get my head down and work, but people can be very distracting in an office environment, it’s all a bit strange but we were never designed for office environments. Hope this helps in some way?

Charlotte_Ca

El_Torro said:

I'm not sure what the problem is. Some people like to chat a lot when at work, others like to just get on with it and leave on time / not too late after getting everything done. There's nothing wrong with being the second of those two. 

If nobody is trying to force you to take part in the conversations I don't see an issue. Either converse with them if you feel like it, or don't. 

You say it's sometimes hard to get your supervisor's attention when they're chatting. If it's urgent it shouldn't be a problem for you to interrupt, getting the job done is what you're all paid for after all. 

Yeh it make sense what you say. Indeed I can just interrup in a polite way so my querry is resolved. Will try this next time.

It's just that them all being chatty and me being quite is like I don't feel part of the team... like I don't belong with them and if they see me as a weird person.

Charlotte_Ca

Khaderbhai said:

This sounds like most offices (in my experience). The workload situation does seem a little strange that a manager and supervisor seem to have the time to chat frequently, but sounds like its part of the office environment at your place of work. 

I came to the conclusion that offices are not really for me, there is a lot of politics that go on and I am probably like you in that I am happy to get my head down and work, but people can be very distracting in an office environment, it’s all a bit strange but we were never designed for office environments. Hope this helps in some way?

Yes, everyone is very chatty and friendly with each other. And also i don't understand how them both even find that much time. 

I like having a light general chat with colleagues, but not that excessive thing they do. I feel that because they've been there that long they just feel free to do whatever they want in a sense.

bigbars

It’s a hard one. I have experience of similar. It’s working out where the line is. I’m not talkative but some offices or teams expect you to interact, I hate saying morning bye how’s your weekend, but that’s not being rude but for unnecessarily open people they can see it that way. I like to listen to the radio on headphones but to some it can be seen as being isolated, there’s no right or wrong as you’ve probably figured. Especially when others know their quirks idiosyncrasies etc. 

I at times hate the office environment for the politics and lemmings, and the hypocritical tendencies, it’s like picking friends. Offices can put you in groups you just dont gel with but to some especially managers they want stepford wives who act and behave like they weren’t you to. You just pray you get a team of likeminded individuals and never need to worry but it is luck of the draw. My best experience was my first as most of us came around similar times and just jelled so well. But unfortunately it’s hard. I get told off or shall I say the pc term fed back that I isolate myself and don’t talk a lot. But it’s cos I don’t feel comfortable talking about private life, kids etc. I especially don’t agree with the rule that you have to to be accepted as it should be a balancing act by team management. You can’t have everyone the same but sadly a lot expect it. After 15+ years in my soon to be old jib I believe office environments are no longer for me, way too much juggling of personalities. Especially right now the implied insistence under the guise of collaboration that we use cameras, so many excuses now. 

If your work is being done and done right, the rest they should just deal with.. end of ,… in my opinion.

to end… I think . Be You. Do You!
Don’t change to fit in. fake personalities and traits will only hold so long and the discomfort of being a way that isn’t natural to you could backfire.

My logic is I’m paid first and foremost to do my job and to do it well. If it’s a stipulation to be a particular way. Define it and put it in my contract and Job description.
That should be the only criteria to be judged on.

JReacher1

Sounds like you work on a friendly, informal workplace. I’ve worked in a few of them and they’re much better than places that are very formal where nobody talks. 

Basically think you have to either (1) just accept that’s the working environment, (2) leave for another job (3) buy some noise cancelling headphones. 

Can’t see you have any other option as you can hardly complain to your manager or supervisor that they talk too much 😃

Dakta

I find small talk really hard and a few years ago I would have found the expectation to chit chat to fit in really really stressful - I don't have much to say either!

However it's something i've had to work on because my current role (problems aside) is quite stressful and I really do value some dialogue between myself and colleagues. My team is a bit the opposite it's hard to get engagement but when you do pin someone down, or find yourself gossiping to someone in another team it really is good for the soul and helps you get through. I have come to really like the work banter.

So, to some extent I'd try and join in, even if it makes you anxious - people like to talk about themselves so if you've nothing to say just ask quesgtions, what are you into, what did you do at the weekend? Be interested and respond to their answers with more questions. It will start to roll and you'll probably get some questions back too - which means you don't have to think so much

Only caveat is if the gossip is actually impacting your work to a point where you're concerned - if this occurs see if (depending on what you do and it's environment) you can listen to music with earbuds or find some other ways to tune out.

gwynlas

I think that the responses you have had so far do not take note that English is not your first language so that the chatter is just noise to you unless you concentrate. Do not feel that you have to join in to be accepted some people are more naturally reserved or listeners rather than talkers in whatever language  is being used. using an idiom you can just let it go over your head unless you are directly addressed.  If you need to get your supervisors attention you can just say sorry for interupting but I need assistance.Most people can cope working in a level of background noise experienced in open plan offices but if this is causing an issue for you ask your supervisor if you can use headphones

badmemory

Have you looked at all your colleagues.  It is quite possible that there are others that do not "chat" quite so much & you are just too caught up noticing the ones that do.  This is not a criticism by the way, but just a heads up that you most likely are not the only one that doesn't do all the chat & they have possibly learnt to smile & nod in appropriate places.

TELLIT01

You have to learn to zone the 'noise' out.  I've worked in very quiet offices and in very chatty ones.  I prefer the chatty ones even though I didn't often join in the chats.  I understand the added problem you have with English not being your first language and therefore the problem with interpreting what is meant, not just what is being said (if you unstand what I mean).

If you have to wait a few minutes to speak to your manager don't let it get to you.  They are the one preventing you getting on with the job.