Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975, and estranged Sons

msb1234

tooldle said:

If the estranged sons are 50+ it is very likely they do remember living with their father. Things were different in the 70’s and divorce was not as common as it is now. Those sons may have been ‘dumped’ for reasons they did not understand, and now are expressing the anger and frustration built up over the years. FiL not ever wishing to discuss the situation may point to FiL being ashamed of his own part in whatever happened. 

My advice would be, try to not assume or form an opinion on the sons. If you can find the energy, write back and try to build bridges. Keep it simple and says you know nothing of the circumstances of the past. Whilst your OH may not want contact now, he may change his mind when the stress of administering the estate has passed. 

Keep in mind these ‘sons’ were children when whatever happened, happened. Who knows what they have heard, or been told over the years. Your FiL is in part responsible.

This is so true. I’m currently dealing with my mother’s estate and am now Deputy for my stepfather who is in a home. I knew he was married before he met my mum and knew he had some children. He’s a lovely man, mum loved him dearly and we all felt so sorry that he wasn’t allowed to see his children because of his awful ex wife.
The reality was that he left his first wife when he had an affair with my mum when I was 4 and had 2 older siblings. He had a daughter the same age as me. She returned to Scotland where she and my stepfather were originally from. He would visit once in a blue moon.
The relationship with my mum broke down and she returned to my dad and went on to have 2 more siblings. Stepfather moved to Wales, met and married wife 2, and had 3 more children. Years later, him and my mum met up again (she was 50), restarted their relationship and he left wife number 2. His second set of children were 4, 10 and 11.
My mum and him moved away from all of us, (5 siblings one of whom died suddenly leaving 2 young children, the rest of us all with young children) and we had no contact for some years. In fact, for 2 years we had no idea where they even lived! The last time he saw his second family was 2 years after he left them, and only saw them once. 
I was able to contact his second wife to tell her about his illness as it’s hereditary. She filled me in with all the grim details and this has been corroborated by his sister who for some strange reason was in contact with my mum and came to her funeral.
his children have made it really clear that they want nothing to do with him - one of the boys says he hopes he rots away! I am the executor of his will, but I know he wont be leaving anything to anyone. Sadly he has not left anything to his own children in his will, choosing to do mirror wills with my mum and leaving his estate to me and my siblings.
It’s surprising what comes out of the woodwork when you start digging!

RAS

msb1234

I understand your step-siblings might feel as the last thing I wanted was anything that reminded me of my father. But I had a good relationship with his sibling, so when I was asked tentatively if I wanted a few mementoes they had I actually said yes. 

The important bit is acknowledgement. The siblings didn't have a dewy eyed view of my father, disapproved of what he did and still loved him even if they kept apart. That acknowledgement gave me space to reduce my anger. 

Proving neither you nor your siblings are on means-tested benefits, insolvent or likely to need care yourself, and if your stepfather leaves anything, you can do a deed of variation to share with your step siblings. As long as it is actioned with 2 years of his death.

That needs the consent of those whose share is reduced, not of all the siblings.

Even if the step siblings reject the offer, making an offer may take some of the sting out of situation.

And even if they don't want to attend your step father's funeral, letting them know when it is gives them the chance to grieve, not just the loss of the body but also the loss of their family when they were so young.

I chose to go to a quiet place and say good bye on my own terms.

TBagpuss

TamVilla80 said:

We are dealing with my late Father In Laws estate (about £250k altogether, with house value and cash) Based in England.
His will stated that everything was to be spilt between my husband and his sister, however, my father in law had 2 estranged children from a previous marriage. 
My husband has never met either of them, we don't know the reasons for the estrangement, but my Father In Law had no real contact with them for 30+ years.
When he passed, on the advice of older family members, we asked other family members who had limited contact with one of them to let them know of his passing.
This was in January, and my husband has this week received quite an aggressive letter from 1 of the sons (which is quite in character from what we have been told, could explain the estrangement, maybe? Also not sure how he has our address?!) asking to know the executors of the will, amongst a lot of ranting (executor was the bank, although they have renounced it to husband and his sister)
We think they are both 50+ with families and careers, haven't had any financial support from Father In Law for many years, and he always refused any contact with them.
Would they have any basis for a claim using the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975? Father in law's will was written 10+years ago, he was in good mind then and right up to his passing. 
Would we be ok to politely reply (we were going to politely reply with basic details) or should we get some legal advice and a solicitor to reply on our behalf (which I think looks defensive, more suspicious, and less personable)?
Sorry for the long post! It's been a long 12 months of my father in law's illness and passing, and we could do without this now too, it's exhausting so would appreciate any advice.

I think your husband would be fine to reply politely, thanking them for the letter and confirming that your husband and his sisters are executors. (Were they named as replacement executors in the will? Or has the bank renounced and they've applied to be appointed to administer the will?)  I think it is fine to delay a while before responding .
Or indeed to just reply to thank him for getting in touch and to say that probate hasn't yet been granted 

As others have said, it would be unlikely that they would be able to make a successful claim unless your FIL had been provided financial support to them in the recent past, which seem unlikely on the face of it

TamVilla80

TBagpuss said:

I think your husband would be fine to reply politely, thanking them for the letter and confirming that your husband and his sisters are executors. (Were they named as replacement executors in the will? Or has the bank renounced and they've applied to be appointed to administer the will?)  I think it is fine to delay a while before responding .
Or indeed to just reply to thank him for getting in touch and to say that probate hasn't yet been granted 

As others have said, it would be unlikely that they would be able to make a successful claim unless your FIL had been provided financial support to them in the recent past, which seem unlikely on the face of it

Thank you. The bank renounced to husband and his sister, as the only beneficiaries.
Part of me thinks we should respond quickly as it's only polite when written to, and I'm human enough to realise that there is a lot of emotions involved and it's a lot of stuff that we don't know has gone on, so it's not just a legal matter.
But at the same time I'm exhausted with everything that has gone on over the past 12 months, so my husband and his sister must be even more so, so just want to sort it and for it all to go away for them. 
We have contacted a solicitor to see what they advise and will see where that takes us....