Pre-nuptial or pre-marriage agreements

dcrooz

Thanks for the advice.

Actually, the same clauses are being included for me as for her which is great. It just happens that I have a lot less to contribute at the moment than her. I do however own a flat which I rent out which I will also protect. From day one of the marriage though anything we buy or contribute towards will be owned 50/50 which is fair enough.

Don't mean to sound like a b i t c h but her dad is very new money and is very paranoid/suspicious about money.

Anyway, bottom line is we love eachother and want to spend the rest of our lives together and that's exactly what we're going to do.

:beer:

dee2005

Well, you've got to realise that, you might think your future father in law likes you, but in the event of you two getting divorced, you can take it from me that you will be the worst person in the world. Who are you intending to marry ? Your girlfriend, or your girlfriend and her father ? Be very careful. He obviously doesnt want his daughter to get involved with an a..hole like himself, and he is trying to ensure that as much as he can financially. If your girlfriend is still thinking you should sign that agreement, then she is on his side. If I were you, I'd run a mile............ Financial agreements are between the two prospective parties. The parents shouldnt be involved.

BWZN93

dee2005 wrote:

Well, you've got to realise that, you might think your future father in law likes you, but in the event of you two getting divorced, you can take it from me that you will be the worst person in the world. Who are you intending to marry ? Your girlfriend, or your girlfriend and her father ? Be very careful. He obviously doesnt want his daughter to get involved with an a..hole like himself, and he is trying to ensure that as much as he can financially. If your girlfriend is still thinking you should sign that agreement, then she is on his side. If I were you, I'd run a mile............ Financial agreements are between the two prospective parties. The parents shouldnt be involved.

I think thats a little unfair really, I know I personally wouldnt get married without any kind of prior agreements, and I personally feel this would weed out any moneygrabbing a$$holes - its too much trouble for them - and I feel it is a statement of honesty of intention. I know from experience that my stepfather wasted a lot of my mothers money, and there wasnt really anything she could do about it.

Similarly, a friend of mine, his mother has a large trust fund for herself, and upon divorcing the father of her 4 children, ended up with a massive divorce settlement (1.6mil), and subsequently bought houses over the world, and the CSA are after him for £0.6mil in back payments - which he has no intention of paying.

I am a woman, and whilst this is a generalisation - women (and men) in love can do stupid and crazy things, which is exactly why trusts are set up - it is heart breaking for a parent to watch their child have their heart broken and be left with little or no money.

Jo xx

Edited: Also, whilst on the subject, id like to point out that since the money was earned by the father and wishes to benefit is children - arent we missing the point?? If I had kids, and they ended up marrying someone who was after the money and got it - i'd be pretty bloody annoyed - its the fathers perogative to choose exactly where his money goes. TBH, Id be more worried if my partner refused to sign any agreements - I'd see that as either a) stupidity on his part, or b) doesnt want to respect my financial contributions to the marriage, and feels that should we deserve, he is entitled to it. I dont think so.

dee2005

I feel I have to reiterate what I have said. Unless the parents money are involved in the partnership, then I think it is none of the parents' business. Isnt that the reason that most of us get married in the first place.......to get away from our parents' clutches.....!

digp

such tosh is of no legal validity in this jurisdiction

bog off to new york if he wants it to be valid

dcrooz

It does however stand as a statement of intent and the courts are apparently taking more notice of them.

I think that dee raised a good point regarding the fact that it is the father's money and not her's (at the moment). In this scenario he's entitled to try to look after it as wisely as possible until such a day when it's out of his control.

I'm going to sign it - if I don't, even if it's just out of principle, they will forever mis-trust me and think I'm in it for the money. Besides that, I don't particularly disagree with it, it's just really odd sorting out your divorce before the wedding ceremony!

Legal_Academic

"such tosh is of no legal validity in this jurisdiction

bog off to new york if he wants it to be valid"


I have to say that this is no longer the case in the UK. Pre-nuptial agreements are, in fact, now accepted by the UK family law courts provided that they are fair and reasonable in all the circumstances. (Refer to "The Law" at https://www.prenuptialagreements.co.uk). There is now, also, the additional danger that forum shoppers (those seeking foreign jurisdictions for more favourable judgments) will be turned away, as in the recent case of a British woman who was unable to enforce a £10m divorce settlement in a New York court.

dcrooz

Sorry, it was jw who mentioned about the money coming from the parents which is a very valid point.

In response to dee - you say you'd run a mile if facing a similar scenario to myself. Haven't you been in love? Haven't you heard that most people have trouble with their in laws? I don't see why I should be any different. My bride to be is painfully aware that I want to marry her and not her family but you have to make concessions, like it or not you have to reach compromises throughout your life.

ceegee

I certainly wouldn't sign the blasted thing, on principle. That is just bringing everything down to the level of filthy lucre. Go ahead and marry your fiancee and let the old geezer huff and puff all he likes. If you refuse to sign his silly agreement, it doesn't stop you from getting married, does it?

dcrooz

He would make our lives very very difficult.

The fact is that despite me being opposed to signing the agreement on various fronts, I have no intention of trying to get my hands on my fiancees, or my future father in laws' money - and as such will sign the b l o o d y thing.