What are my friends options

th081

My friend and his wife have decided to split and its turning a bit nasty. They both own the house and she agreed to sell but has now changed her mind. He was staying there but is now sofa surfing due to rows when he was in the house. Three kids under 18.

Can he continue to live there/ should he continue to live there and is there anyway to force a house sale short of court action. If it went to court what would the likely outcome be, a 50:50 sale. She gets to stay in the house until the youngest is 18 etc.

elsien

No one necessarily gets to stay in the house until the youngest child is 18. And any financial split will depend on all their combined assets not just the house -  savings, pension et cetera.

He can decide to live there if he wants to, he has as much right as she does. But unless they can both get a bit more self control, that’s going lead to a lot more arguments and be difficult for the children.
Have they considered mediation to try to reach agreement? Is she earning enough to be able to buy him out and take the mortgage on on her own?

he needs proper legal advice. It would be a false economy not to. 

th081

elsien said:

No one necessarily gets to stay in the house until the youngest child is 18. And any financial split will depend on all their combined assets not just the house -  savings, pension et cetera.

He can decide to live there if he wants to, he has as much right as she does. But unless they can both get a bit more self control, that’s going lead to a lot more arguments and be difficult for the children.
Have they considered mediation to try to reach agreement? Is she earning enough to be able to buy him out and take the mortgage on on her own?

he needs proper legal advice. It would be a false economy not to. 

Thanks. The house is the only asset there is and while she has a part time job she is not earning enough to buy him out. Mediation might be an option later down the line once things have calmed down a bit.

WYSPECIAL

How old are kids?
How big is house?
Would she be able to pay the mortgage and running costs from her own resources? This can include maintenance and benefits.

Spendless

Their marital assets (equity in the house, money in the bank, shares, pensions etc) will be looked at as a whole before deciding on a fair split according to the needs of each party. The starting point is 50/50, it's not necessarily the end point.  As there are children involved their needs will be taken into account too. 

Legal advice is needed. 

bouicca21

Agreed he needs a solicitor but for moral support and some preliminary advice, he might find it useful to sign up to Wikivorce.

tightauldgit

1. He can continue to live there if he wants to unless she goes and gets an order to stop him doing so. If it's nasty though he should probably just be careful that it doesn't lead to getting reported to the police, etc. Would have to be on his best behaviour really and even then nothing to stop a report simply being invented.

2. There's no way to force a house sale without a court order - when you think about it, how could there be? They can certainly negotiate and agree something but in the case where she's being uncooperative I really don't see the point. Just start the court action - it will take a year anyway and in the meantime nothing to stop you negotiating.

3. What the outcome will be is a 'how long is a piece of string' question - starting point is 50/50 but they'll look at everything and see what makes sense. A lot of people seem to think that there's an automatic right to stay in the marital home with the kids - there isn't - but they will definitely look at the needs of the kids in terms of housing etc and the ability of their mother to meet those needs.

If the house was sold then is she in a position to rehouse herself? Given the market at the moment selling and rehousing may be a more expensive option than staying where they are.    

th081

Thanks all, I will share this with him. Youngest child is 2. The house would be to expensive for her on her own but if sold with each getting 50% then they should both be able to get something smaller with a small mortgage. It's just a bit unreasonable from her at the moment wants to hurt him for hurt reasons 

tightauldgit

th081 said:

Thanks all, I will share this with him. Youngest child is 2. The house would be to expensive for her on her own but if sold with each getting 50% then they should both be able to get something smaller with a small mortgage. It's just a bit unreasonable from her at the moment wants to hurt him for hurt reasons 

Also worth passing on that if he isn't living there then he really doesn't have an obligation to share any bills that come in. Utilities, council tax and mortgage payment can be her responsibility - and if she can't afford to pay it then that might prompt them to come to the table to negotiate the sale. 

Emmia

tightauldgit said:

th081 said:

Thanks all, I will share this with him. Youngest child is 2. The house would be to expensive for her on her own but if sold with each getting 50% then they should both be able to get something smaller with a small mortgage. It's just a bit unreasonable from her at the moment wants to hurt him for hurt reasons 

Also worth passing on that if he isn't living there then he really doesn't have an obligation to share any bills that come in. Utilities, council tax and mortgage payment can be her responsibility - and if she can't afford to pay it then that might prompt them to come to the table to negotiate the sale. 

Is it a joint mortgage? If it is they are both jointly liable for paying it, if he stops paying the bank can go after her, and vice versa - stopping paying, is also likely to have an adverse impact on both of their future abilities get another mortgage.

If he wants to force the sale, I'd advise him to move back in. He should also seek legal advice, and they should both go to mediation.

tightauldgit

Emmia said:

tightauldgit said:

th081 said:

Thanks all, I will share this with him. Youngest child is 2. The house would be to expensive for her on her own but if sold with each getting 50% then they should both be able to get something smaller with a small mortgage. It's just a bit unreasonable from her at the moment wants to hurt him for hurt reasons 

Also worth passing on that if he isn't living there then he really doesn't have an obligation to share any bills that come in. Utilities, council tax and mortgage payment can be her responsibility - and if she can't afford to pay it then that might prompt them to come to the table to negotiate the sale. 

Is it a joint mortgage? If it is they are both jointly liable for paying it, if he stops paying the bank can go after her, and vice versa - stopping paying, is also likely to have an adverse impact on both of their future abilities get another mortgage.

If he wants to force the sale, I'd advise him to move back in. He should also seek legal advice, and they should both go to mediation.

Yep the bank can  go after you eventually but does she really want to render herself and her kids homeless instead of selling the house? If he's sofa surfing then he really needs to look after himself and make sure he meets his own needs first before subsidising hers.