She will not give me the new address

I have two children with my ex-wife.  She and her husband have moved house, and she refuses to give me her new address.  The children have been poisoned against me, so I do not see them (their choice), although there is no (legal) reason why I shouldn't see them  -  i.e. no abuse,etc etc.   I pay maintenance every month, and always have done.  I send cards etc via her mother whose address I still have, but I want to be able to send cards direct to my children, so that I can be sure they are reaching them.  The hope is that one day they will decide they want to get in touch (they are 12 and 15 now).  How can I get her new address?


  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Forumite Posts: 34,006
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  • Teapot55
    Teapot55 Forumite Posts: 671
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Link posted by Pollycat above leads to a good discussion with various points of view and some good advice. 

    I would just add that you’re doing all the right things. 

    At birthday and Christmas times you could consider commenting with a simple “Happy Birthday” etc (no more, so a pre-teen or teenager doesn’t construe it as ‘embarrassing’ or ‘weird’) on their Facebook profiles if they have one. But go with your gut instinct on this. 

    Things will get better as the children mature and start to make their own minds up about the way things are. 

    would've . . . could've . . . should've . . .

    A.A.A.S. (Associate of the Acronym Abolition Society)

    There's definitely no 'a' in 'definitely'.
  • Spendless
    Spendless Forumite Posts: 23,599
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Someone I know who doesn't have contact with their grandchildren not through their choice writes on their own Facebook page wishing them a Happy Birthday   each year. She says one day it may serve as a reminder/evidence that she always thought of them, regardless of what they may have been told. 
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