Can a co-parent withhold their address?

squ1rrel5

(Posting on behalf of a friend without an account who is going through a sticky situation.)  

Friend is divorced but he shares 50/50 custody of daughter with his ex-wife.  She is currently in rented accommodation and he picks her up either from school or her house.  
She has recently bought a new house, moving in a few weeks (likely with her new partner) but is refusing to share her new address.  She hasn't tried to make pick up/drop off arrangements yet, but is adamant that she won't tell him where her and their daughter will be living.  She has full knowledge of where he lives. 

As someone with equal rights to parenting, surely he has the rights to know where his child will be living the other 50% of the time?  Whilst the relationship is far from amicable there are no grounds to withhold this information?  Can she do this?

The_Unready

Can he not just ask his child after they've moved?

squ1rrel5

The_Unready said:

Can he not just ask his child after they've moved?

Well I did suggest that to him, but she's 4 and not the most reliable with information! 

Jude57

squ1rrel5 said:

(Posting on behalf of a friend without an account who is going through a sticky situation.)  

Friend is divorced but he shares 50/50 custody of daughter with his ex-wife.  She is currently in rented accommodation and he picks her up either from school or her house.  
She has recently bought a new house, moving in a few weeks (likely with her new partner) but is refusing to share her new address.  She hasn't tried to make pick up/drop off arrangements yet, but is adamant that she won't tell him where her and their daughter will be living.  She has full knowledge of where he lives. 

As someone with equal rights to parenting, surely he has the rights to know where his child will be living the other 50% of the time?  Whilst the relationship is far from amicable there are no grounds to withhold this information?  Can she do this?

You say the relationship between the parties is far from amicable but that you and your friend think there are no grounds to withhold the address. Think about the contradiction there. The other parent clearly thinks there are grounds. Remember, no matter how close you are to a situation, you're unlikely to know everything about it and it's human nature to withhold information that makes us look bad to our friends. I don't know whether your friend's ex-partner is justified in wanting to keep her new address confidential. Only a judge could decide whether there are legal grounds to make the ex-partner disclose the new address and unless the other parent is moving a very great distance away, it's unlikely that a judge would order it. 

Why does your friend need to know? As long as pick ups and drop offs for the child are done smoothly, does it matter where they are done? If he has real concerns for the child's safety with the new partner, he'd need to address those through the Court.

Mojisola

squ1rrel5 said:

As someone with equal rights to parenting, surely he has the rights to know where his child will be living the other 50% of the time?  Whilst the relationship is far from amicable there are no grounds to withhold this information?  Can she do this?

From other threads that have been on here, I don't think either parent has to give an address to the other.

As long as there is some way of contacting the other parent like phone number and email, that's supposed to be enough.

squ1rrel5

Jude57 said:

squ1rrel5 said:

(Posting on behalf of a friend without an account who is going through a sticky situation.)  

Friend is divorced but he shares 50/50 custody of daughter with his ex-wife.  She is currently in rented accommodation and he picks her up either from school or her house.  
She has recently bought a new house, moving in a few weeks (likely with her new partner) but is refusing to share her new address.  She hasn't tried to make pick up/drop off arrangements yet, but is adamant that she won't tell him where her and their daughter will be living.  She has full knowledge of where he lives. 

As someone with equal rights to parenting, surely he has the rights to know where his child will be living the other 50% of the time?  Whilst the relationship is far from amicable there are no grounds to withhold this information?  Can she do this?

You say the relationship between the parties is far from amicable but that you and your friend think there are no grounds to withhold the address. Think about the contradiction there. The other parent clearly thinks there are grounds. Remember, no matter how close you are to a situation, you're unlikely to know everything about it and it's human nature to withhold information that makes us look bad to our friends. I don't know whether your friend's ex-partner is justified in wanting to keep her new address confidential. Only a judge could decide whether there are legal grounds to make the ex-partner disclose the new address and unless the other parent is moving a very great distance away, it's unlikely that a judge would order it. 

Why does your friend need to know? As long as pick ups and drop offs for the child are done smoothly, does it matter where they are done? If he has real concerns for the child's safety with the new partner, he'd need to address those through the Court.

I realise that sounded like a contradiction.  I actually know both parties involved well and she is the one who has caused all the problems.  Yes, its not an particularly amicable relationship due to the history and how she has handled matters. However, they are being civil where childcare is concerned and have a workable 50/50 arrangement.  So he (and I, and other mutual friends) just find it bizarre that this can happen, that you aren't allowed to know where your own child is living, despite having equal custody.  

squ1rrel5

Mojisola said:

squ1rrel5 said:

As someone with equal rights to parenting, surely he has the rights to know where his child will be living the other 50% of the time?  Whilst the relationship is far from amicable there are no grounds to withhold this information?  Can she do this?

From other threads that have been on here, I don't think either parent has to give an address to the other.

As long as there is some way of contacting the other parent like phone number and email, that's supposed to be enough.

Thank you, I'll get him to read some past threads on here.  It just seems very odd that as a parent (especially one with equal custody rights) you aren't allowed to know the address of your own child. 

sheramber

As she hasn't moved yet she may feel it is not necessary to give him details until the sale has completed and she moves in.

No point in arranging things until then.

silvercar

squ1rrel5 said:

Mojisola said:

squ1rrel5 said:

As someone with equal rights to parenting, surely he has the rights to know where his child will be living the other 50% of the time?  Whilst the relationship is far from amicable there are no grounds to withhold this information?  Can she do this?

From other threads that have been on here, I don't think either parent has to give an address to the other.

As long as there is some way of contacting the other parent like phone number and email, that's supposed to be enough.

Thank you, I'll get him to read some past threads on here.  It just seems very odd that as a parent (especially one with equal custody rights) you aren't allowed to know the address of your own child. 

I agree. Surely every parent has a right to know where their child is at all times?

tacpot12

silvercar said:

I agree. Surely every parent has a right to know where their child is at all times?

I'm not sure they do. What about the child's right to privacy? Children aren't possessions. 

Spendless

My friend's ex did this to her. It was about control -  the reason he withheld information - nothing else.  A few years later her eldest son was old enough to read and told her anyway!