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voyeuristic neighbours
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I think you're all being hard.
I was told the same by neighbours who have no windows overlooking them. One who bought his house for the very reason no one could look in.
I'm still growing plants, errecting trellis so I can happily go about my business in private. When I want to see people I'll go out.
Attic conversations are the worst. One we think is Air B&B. 2 naked men staring out. Not what I want before I've had breakfast!
Or the weird neighbours son watching me doing tai chi in my pyjamasI can rise and shine - just not at the same time!
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Well thanks every one for your responses. I am not paranoid by any means, other neighbours have also noticed thier behavior its just me that decided to ask on this forum to see if there was anything that can be done. I agree surely people would have better things to do but it seems these people dont. I also like to look out of my own window at my own garden but i dont stand there most of the day, or pull up a chair to the upstaiors window and sit watching others. Without a doubt they can see in as just yesterday I was sat at my dining room table sorting though email on my phone when i looked up there he was, yet again, then when the chap realised id seen him he made a thumbs up sign to me! Its not normal behaviour and extremely intrusive. I have lived here for over 20 yrs and no other neighbors behaved in this way. I do just ignore it as I dont want confrontation which could only make matters worse Thank you all for taking time to respond, looks like there is nothing we can do.1
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SNAPP_2 said:Well thanks every one for your responses. I am not paranoid by any means, other neighbours have also noticed thier behavior its just me that decided to ask on this forum to see if there was anything that can be done. I agree surely people would have better things to do but it seems these people dont. I also like to look out of my own window at my own garden but i dont stand there most of the day, or pull up a chair to the upstaiors window and sit watching others. Without a doubt they can see in as just yesterday I was sat at my dining room table sorting though email on my phone when i looked up there he was, yet again, then when the chap realised id seen him he made a thumbs up sign to me! Its not normal behaviour and extremely intrusive. I have lived here for over 20 yrs and no other neighbors behaved in this way. I do just ignore it as I dont want confrontation which could only make matters worse Thank you all for taking time to respond, looks like there is nothing we can do.0
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Try waving to them or make a sign up that says 'Hello' and hold it up when they are staring at you. Turn a problem into a fun time.
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If it were me I would walk around my house naked. This could cure the problem, or it could make it worse.
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The behaviour looks like symptoms of a condition or a syndrome which makes people behave inappropriately to others.
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I would wave at them
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You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time1 -
Privacy window tint could be your best option - they will just see a reflection like a mirror and you can still see out (and nw watch them if you want) !
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Hi Snapp.I wouldn't downplay the significance of the impact of such ignorant behaviour, and I suspect very very few folk could just shrug off such an obvious intrusion. We are all morally entitled to a reasonable level of peaceful enjoyment of our home.I would not wave at them. Don't smile. If you want to give them a reaction, just stand there with an impassive expression, looking right back at them for a few seconds. If they wave, keep looking for a few more seconds, !!!!!! yer head sideways a tad, and perhaps raise your hands palms-up to your side as a quizzical 'what the hell?' expression. Ie, you are letting them know that their behaviour is not 'normal', and is unwanted. See if they stop waving, or even look abashed; that, at least, would suggest they do now realise it ain't right, so a lack of self-awareness/ignorance is likely behind it.No other gesticulations - no aggressiveness, no 'fingers'...I suspect that 'ignorance' is all that's to it - just not very sophisticated or self-aware folk.What to do? A couple of things, I guess - one is to look at the best way to give yourself privacy, and lots of good ideas above. Slatted blinds do work well as you can usually angle them just enough for privacy whilst still allowing a view, especially if the angle you wish to block is from above. These can be opened more than you think, as their 'view' of you will still be distorted.For the garden, look at canopies of various kinds - these can be very attractive, give some sun shade too, and even have the option of being used as a 'canvas'; I've always imagined that painting their tops blue and adding gold stars will have a reciprocal effect on the voyeurs.And then there's possible 'action' you can take. If the "What the?!" look at them has the desired effect - they look abashed and go away - I'd follow that success up very promptly (even right away) with a visit to them, as the chances are they will be receptive (ie, they are not being malicious, but are simply not very socially aware). Very friendly, big grin as they open the door; "I hope I didn't upset you just now, and it's lovely to meet you properly at last!". And just explain, with complete candour and honesty, exactly how it makes you feel (get that sorted in your head first, and don't over-egg!). Add that you do not consider them to be deliberately observing you, but that most folk would find being overlooked like this very uncomfortable, and anything they could do to reduce it would be really appreciated. (Oh, have your phone set surreptitiously to record...)If they are receptive, then thank them and change the subject - ask about them, how long they've lived here, do they have family, all the friendly neighbourly stuff. A big thank you, followed up with a bottle of plonk left on their doorstep with a 'thank you' note.If the reception is not positive (and you really want that recorded - any, "Bludy newbies comin' around here tell us locals how to bludy behave!" could actually be considered a 'hate' crime!), and/or their behaviour does not improve, then you'll need to build up a log of evidence. You will need this; you will need to be able to show that it is excessive, and is intrusive, and could be intentional.This will require a discrete (I'd set it up discrete*) camera, and have it running for a day or more. A typical day's recording will show the amount of time they do actually spend at the window. Subsequent recordings can be snipped using free software to just show relevant moments, such as when you are out there, and you make a log; "8th July, 10:14 Went out into garden, clip shows them following most of my moves. Both present. Constantly watching. Looked away when I went inside at 10:18" - that kind of stuff. Also an example which has you looking back at them with your 'questioning' expression - how do they respond?Build up a log. Then approach the LA for help. They will want two things - the first is, "Have you spoken to them about this?" and "do you have any evidence of their behaviour?"Please let us know how you get on, even if you just decide to live with it - it could be very useful for other folk (and we are all very curious :-) )*Check with ICO, but you can do this if you are capturing what could amount to possible harassment or a crime. Do not share the recordings with anyone except authorised folk - the LA and the police.2
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Thank you so much for all your further responses and for genuinely understanding how intrusive and unsettling the situation is. @ThisIsWeird thank you for taking the time to write such an extensive response with some very sound advise. I have already taken your advise and used the 'what the hell' gesture, which is what ive wanted to do the minute it started to happen but for fear of making things worse i had, so far, not reacted at all. This time it was just the man at the upstairs window staring across, right in to my upstaris office (converted from a spare bedroom and where i have worked in privacy for many years ) the reaction form him was to continue smoking his cigarette turn to call his wife to join him at the window, then they both just looked across and laughed! unashamedely! I guess the next step is to actully confront them about it but as you say I will do this in a friendly manner regardless of their reaction / response.
Ive been adjusting blinds in an atempt to get the angling corret with enought privacy but also allowing light in and a view out! not sure if ive found the perfect angle just yet as i can get an 'upstairs' view point to check. I will start a log too, maybe I could very pbviously take a picture of them when they are staring acrosss this might make them think twice if they think im recording it all.
Thank you so much once again for all the advise I will update on further progress asap.
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