How did you get into this debt?

MaccyB_2

My husband & I met with small overdrafts and small car loans each. When we got married we decided to consolidate and pay it all off and add a bit extra for a honey moon. Soon had another loan to buy a new car, credit cards started filling up with bits & pieces for our house. The main lump of our debt came from when we bought a house in preparation for us both coming out the Forces. We bought a house for £96 (together mortage with northern rock so £74 was secured and the rest unsecured to use on the deposit and what was left to pay off all other debt). This was our first big bad decision. I ended up staying int he forces and we didn't move into the house, so we rented it. Unfortunately it wasn't taken care of and before we new it when we came to sell it a shock was in store. £79 we got for it leaving a whopping £17 grand debt. Did we learn from this mistake?? no! we carried on living on credit cards and like a lot of people burying our heads in the sand. We then decided to buy another car but we were so desperate and in a hurry we bought one on finance from carcraft. Like a fool we trusted the geezer when he said we could take the finance agreement and pay it off the next day with a bank loan (obviously cheaper rates) what happened? a £6,500 car the very next day I owed £9,500 for the very same car!! Buried my head a little more and then started to get worried when couldn't afford nappied for my son. A friend mentioned this website, I made it my homepage, bought the book and haven't looked back since. I am currently in £57,000 debt and I have no idea when it will be paid off but it will get paid off.

Keep chins up everyone, from now on in it can only get better!!

Drama_Queen

No excuses really, just find it impossible to wait for the things I want (not need)...so get into debt to get them "now". I am getting married next year and my guy is the total opposite. I am hoping he will help me tighten the reins (can't spell that?!). As long as I am honest with him and - mainly myself - I think I will win the battle.

Louise20000

finnerty wrote:

shouldn't have posted on here really as all of you are on the road to debt free land and i ain't even near the slip road to get on it yet :-(

Of course you should have posted - this is kind of like a support group if you like and we have all been there and despaired and have thought that there is no light at the end of that long dark tunnel but there is - there truely is - just hang in there.

James240

hey finnerty you should have posted and i agree with Louise20000 this is a self help group and ur very much entitled to post on here thats how everyone is able to get so much help and advice. This is a fantastic place and i have got much information on here, MSE forums are brilliant and have made many a new friend on here.

So any queries get posting on here and u will find loads of people that are willing to help you. :j :j :j :j :j :j :j :j :j :j :j :j :j :j :j :j :j

Squidgy

Two words

MY HUSBAND

Although I suppose I can't entirely blame him as I did turn a blind eye to it all.

We brought our first house and did struggle a bit here and there so got a £7K loan which wasn't too bad. Sold our house and made £30K and then made the biggest mistake we have ever made. Brought a house we thought we could afford, but couldn't.

Now have several debts (am blaming hubby cos they are all his! Like unpaid speeding fines and an unpaid car loan), but are clearing them all in the next couple of months by doing something very drastic.

Selling our house and renting.

The theory works like this. When we sell we will release a further £30K equity.
We will have to pay about £5K back to the mortgage company for ending our mortgage within 2yrs.
A fair bit of the remaining equity will then go towards clearing EVERY debt we have.
Whats left (hopefully a fair bit still) will then go towards paying, upfront, 6mths to a years worth of rent with still a bit left over for saving.

Well, that's the plan anyway. House sale is going through as we speak, there is no one else in our chain except us and our buyer so hopefully it will all go well.

Squidgy x

Teresa30

My debt problems stemed from relationship breakups believe it or not. I started all over again from scratch with three children twice! You'd think that I would have learned the first time, guess I'm too trusting.

I gave everything up to live with my partner in HIS house with my children only to wake up one day four years later to him telling me he didn't like being a family man and that he had got himself a new eighteen year old girlfriend and he wanted me to move out!

Previous to that I was married to a control freak who would not allow me to have my own bank account only a joint one. I am still paying off that debt even though we split up nearly eight years ago and I had never had a penny out of that account! Take this as a warning never to have a joint bank account with anyone even if you are married because you are solely responsible to pay back any overdraft if the other person cannot be traced!

Being a single working parent of three children having to buy everything from scratch (furniture, car, appliances etc..) put me in debt to begin with, then because I was paying those debts off I had no cash for necessities such as food and clothing so put them on my flexible friend! Vicious circle but I'm getting there due to advice on this web site. Will be debt free in five years!!!

Ember999

Teresa30 wrote:

My debt problems stemed from relationship breakups believe it or not. I started all over again from scratch with three children twice! You'd think that I would have learned the first time, guess I'm too trusting.

I gave everything up to live with my partner in HIS house with my children only to wake up one day four years later to him telling me he didn't like being a family man and that he had got himself a new eighteen year old girlfriend and he wanted me to move out!

Previous to that I was married to a control freak who would not allow me to have my own bank account only a joint one. I am still paying off that debt even though we split up nearly eight years ago and I had never had a penny out of that account! Take this as a warning never to have a joint bank account with anyone even if you are married because you are solely responsible to pay back any overdraft if the other person cannot be traced!

Being a single working parent of three children having to buy everything from scratch (furniture, car, appliances etc..) put me in debt to begin with, then because I was paying those debts off I had no cash for necessities such as food and clothing so put them on my flexible friend! Vicious circle but I'm getting there due to advice on this web site. Will be debt free in five years!!!

Oh Teresa, you poor love :grouphug:

Just read your post after logging on to have a wee read over a cuppa and your post made me so sad and mad! :mad: Sad for you and your children and mad at the two awful men who contributed to your problems.

I think it's awful that we have a system that allows a woman who gives up everything to be with a man and live in 'his' house, to lose everything when he decides he doesn't wanna play house anymore. That must have been so terrible for you. Bad enough him ending it, bad enough him asking you to leave what is also your home, but to add insult to injury and be told you have been replaced by an 18 year old must be terrible!

Just wanted to say that you are one amazing lady to get through that, survive and still sound as positive as you do.

Your post has certainly given me food for thought tonight.

Wishing you all the best,

Ember _pale_

Trinity_2

how did i get into debt?

well, i got divorced (amicably) and had about £7K from that, i moved away and started a new job (first time on my own) Salary was 3 times what id been used to, bought a car (an ex b/f wrecked it), same ex conned a lot of the £7K out of me, same ex got me pregnant, had an abortion, had to pay for it, then shopped for a bit with a so called friend, spent too much money and here i am

bluep

OK! Hopefully this is the first step to actually doing something about it all, as I have found the posts here heartening - so many people doing positive things to improve their situation.

We met as students in London with parents that just couldn't afford in anyway to help out with costs of University. My partner is very good with money but by the end of our first degree, we both had overdrafts of 2k, credit cards of 1k and student loans of 5k (who said they don't feel like "proper" debt??). I got a promptly took out a 3k loan to tide me over the summer renting a posh flat until I started with the company that autumn. Got a starting bonus spent most of it but did pay off the CC not the bank loan though (WHY???!!). Made redundent a year later after we'd just bought a house and spent the redundancy payment on financing a MA and paying the rent. I worked part-time to earn more to live on, then got PhD funding and had to go abroad for a year - paying rent abroad and a mortgage ate up any funding and the CC's increased as did the bank loan - now called a professional study loan and up to 8k. Borrowed 3k more to pay off the CCs and promptly spent on them again. Have left my PhD to have a baby and can't afford childcare and the final year of PhD. So now:
12k bank loan
3.3k credit cards
5k of student loan

My partner is better at paying off thigns but having a baby and living on his income...we are having to spend around £100-200 more a month than comes in. I've tried to pick up work here and there earning little bits for freelance writing and stuff but really am treading water on the CCs until I go back to a well paid job in October. I feel kind of crap that I've given up the PhD after putting so much time and money into it but on the other hand feel for the first time in my life, financial responsibility becuase of our lovely baby. I've not spent anythign on myself in the last 7 months, not splurged on shopping or christmas presents, not booked holidays or bought more gadgets. I feel really positive about the change in my spending habits even though my CC debt is increasing slightly each month as it would have been FAR worse under my old ways and its only increasing because of necessities like nappies and things.

Hope to be debt-free in a couple of years....find it very inspirational that others on here were in far worse positions and managed to do so well at getting debt free!

Lopo

Shame to see this thread fall off the page....hence....bumpety-bump!