Implications of parent moving in

Emmia

A separate 1 bed bungalow would probably be easier to sell on, if and when that needed to happen.

The trouble with the annexe idea, is unless you can afford to pay for her care / buy her out the home you and your mother live in would need to be sold if/when she moved into care.

The other option is you buy a place suitable for the three of you, your mum sells and then puts the money into ISAs /investments/savings - but I'm presuming you can't afford that.

You've rejected a flat as an option to buy - are there any over 55 flats your mum could rent using house sale proceeds? This would offer supported living as she ages, and a community of other people. I'm not suggesting buying one of these flats, as they can be tricky to sell (but it would give more security).

gwynlas

As above at your mums age she would be eligible for over 55s housing and there are a number of schemes that might be open in your area, Whilst I would not advocate buying a retirement flat because of the difficulty of resale and high service charge I would consider renting from a social landlord or charity, and there is the possibility of age appropriate access to social activities if she chooses Whilst it might not be prudent to build a self contained annex a substantial cabin or converted garage could provide additional living space should your mother move in with you. A great deal depends on your individual family choices as to whether she lives close by but independent or you engage in  multi generational household living. The fnancial implications would then follow on from this. I would advocate that she lives independently initially as that would incentivise her to partake in activities to make new friends. In time she might need more support but at that stage you could decide whether that is in her own home or whether it would be best she moves in with you.

am123

Thanks all. I can’t see her agreeing to rent as she’s very much of the opinion that “it’s wasted money”, although I can certainly try the conversation again in a few months time. 

Unfortunately we don’t have the funds available to help her buy something beyond her budget, if we moved house we would take on a slightly larger mortgage and she would ideally use the sale of her house to live on, as now she’s on a single pension income and of course doesn’t qualify for any benefits due to her assets. I want her to have a comfortable life after all this death and sadness, rather than tying it all up in a small property and having to scrimp and save forever more. 

The cabin idea/converted rooms is something we have looked at, although there are the laws around it being ancillary to the house etc which we’d have to clarify with local council. 

lookstraightahead

Just from a financial perspective, renting doesn't need to be that expensive as she would make interest from her savings. 

Maybe take her to look at some of the schemes. My uncle is renting in an over 55s place (he's in his seventies) and it is fantastic. He's made lots of friends who are very much young at heart. He also has health facilities , dr etc.

It's going to cost you quite a lot to move also.

Difficult isn't it. 

am123

It’s so difficult. I’m terrified she’s going to become even more isolated than she is already and while we can visit her on weekends and she can come here, it was so hard for me being an hour away and thinking “well I’ve only got 12 weekends left to spend with my dad” when he diagnosed, and not being there when she had to struggle getting him to hospital. I will look at the over 55 places for sure. I’m going to do a budgeting session with her next weekend as I found out yesterday that her savings pay less than 1% interest 🤯 so we’ll get that sorted as a priority! 

am123

Just wanted to say a quick thanks to everyone for their help and advice. We have decided to continue looking for a different house for my husband and I, but somewhere that has potential to build a garden pod or create a small annexe in the future, which we can use as a home gym/summer house and for my mum to stay in when she visits for a few days at a time, so we can see if it’s a suitable longer term arrangement. Several of you made the point that it’s too soon to be making such an huge life change and on reflection, I think that’s right. We’ll also continue to look out for anything smaller that might fit her budget, so she could be totally independent if she wishes. 

TBagpuss

If / when you do go had, you'd both need to get separate legal advice. It would be possible for you to have the property in joint names as 'tenants in common' defining what % interest each of you had, which would ensure that your share couldn't be taken for care fees. Another option would be for the house to be in your and your husband's names and for your mum to loan you the funds to build an annex / enough to cover the extra costs of an annex, and to have that loan secured against the property, with a separate agreement in place about her occupation. The terms of the secured loan could be agreed and include provisions about when and in what circumstances it had to be repaid, which could include a longish notice period so that if she did have to go into care you would have a reasonable length of time to be able to raise the money if needed. The loan would be an asset so no issue of deprivation of assets for her should arise, and it would be possible for her to update her will and make provision for it to be 'forgiven' on her death if she wished, or again to set a timescale about how long you had to repay it to her estate on her death so you weren't forced to sell up immediately (this may be of less importance if you are an only child)

as others have mentioned, if she / you do all decide it would be sensible to move so you live closer then you could also look at possibilities for her to buy somewhere close to you but independent , which might be financially easier and would mean there was much less risk of you having to sell your home if she died or needed to go into a care home.