My boyfriend owns the house. Should I be paying rent?

theoretica

You see him as making an income from you - he possibly sees the alternative as you getting a living space from him.

I agree that there should be transparency - and putting money into savings to build up other resources is one great solution - but not practicable if the household only has enough total money coming in to live on.  If the OP moved out would the boyfriend be able to afford to live alone?  Is it a property where they might get a lodger and are losing out on that because of the OP?  Is the OP paying more or less than they would living alone? If the boyfriend did take on the entire cost of housing the couple what would the OP take on in return? Lots of questions - which come down to communication, and probably to something between living for free and paying full lodger's rates.

Keep_pedalling

Paying over and above household expenses (50% of fuel, food, CT ect) would give the OP a financial interest in the house, so I hope the OPs partner is happy with that otherwise he should not be charging “rent”

Savvy_Sue

Debtfreesim said:

... I am not seeing any benefits beyond having a roof over my head. 

That's a pretty big benefit, to be fair ...

But as others have said, you need to work out where this relationship is going, and talk about money in that context. If you can't do that, then this relationship is going nowhere 

london21

What made you ask this question?

You will have to contribute something to the household.

alexc90

If you feel so strongly about this and nothing is changing, you should probably get out before it's too late and you've sunk too much of your own money into his property to which you have no entitlement.  However, I do agree with your boyfriend that you are paying a lot less than you would be if you rented privately and you should probably appreciate that.  As for expecting proof that every single penny is going toward bills and food and not clearing his mortgage, doesn't sound very loving or trustworthy.  Although the comment "I am not seeing any benefits apart from having a roof over my head" is a bit ungrateful to say the least.  Having a place to live isn't exactly insignificant.  Also, you don't have to be married with kids to be committed and serious so I don't know what all those comments are about.  Some people who are married with kids also break up and no longer live together.  It isn't a certainty that that means it's more serious.

Exodi

alexc90 said:

I do agree with your boyfriend that you are paying a lot less than you would be if you rented privately and you should probably appreciate that. 

Erm, I don't think the OP should 'appreciate that' (paying less than a private renter) at all. If they were a private renter, they would be able to demand repairs to the property and not be evicted with immediate effect after a bad argument. Private renting is a business, it is designed to make money. I do not think the OP should be worshiping the ground he walks on because they're paying less than a tenant with a formal tenancy agreement from a profit-generating landlord, unless we agree with the premise that the OP posed, that it is acceptable for a someone to make money off their partner. This doesn't sound like a good foundation for a loving relationship.

alexc90 said:

As for expecting proof that every single penny is going toward bills and food and not clearing his mortgage, doesn't sound very loving or trustworthy.  Although the comment "I am not seeing any benefits apart from having a roof over my head" is a bit ungrateful to say the least.  Having a place to live isn't exactly insignificant. 

Again, could you be more biased on this? You call out the OP for not being 'very loving and trustworthy' to ask for evidence of what her money is being spent on, but seem to raise no issue with the partner being unwilling to present a single bill in 4 years of being asked? 

I'd suggest it's perhaps more ungrateful to be taking money to use towards your mortgage, which you directly gain equity from, and refuse to provide even the bare minimum of an account of where the moneys going. The mortgage payment does not go up because the OP lives there. As it stands in the event of a breakup, the OP would be out with a seconds notice with only the clothes on their back. This is not a sensible situation for someone to remain in.

DietIrnBru

Yup, you should have looked at utility bills before you moved in. That’s on you. 

As for the cadence of your post - I’d say the partner has a point - you would be paying more on rent so as matter of economics you got a good deal. 

For the sense of fairness however you’re bemoaning what I had went I rented - the sense of paying somebody’s mortgage. This is muddied by the landlord and your partner being one and the same. This is on both of you - you entered into a living situation that was ill defined and a money situation not laid out - and family and money rarely mix well if there’s a sense of one owing the other. 

Enter dialogue - but it sounds like you want a share of the house - if there’s fireworks let me know so I can get some popcorn. 

_Penny_Dreadful

Comparing paying your partner to live in their home versus paying rent to a landlord is comparing apples with oranges.  For starters a tenant with an AST (or PRT or Occupation Contract if in Scotland or Wales) has a lot more security than what we call in Scotland a bidey-in. 

When you move a partner into your home you cannot have your cake and eat it.  If you don't want your partner to acquire an interest in the property then do not expect them to help pay off your mortgage.  There also has to be an end goal in sight e.g. the partner moving in saves money each month and then at some point in the future you buy a home together or next time you remortgage you make it a joint mortgage, recording unequal ownership shared with a Deed of Trust if you like.  After living together for a couple of years you should know if the relationship has legs or not.

Longwalker

The OP posted in April and never returned so its all moot now 

Pollycat

Longwalker said:

The OP posted in April and never returned so its all moot now 

Well spotted.
Sometimes posting on an old thread can be useful.
But not when the OP asked for advice 6 months ago and never returned to the thread.
At least 3 members have wasted their time.
^^ this is necroposting.