One day at a time

Emmel

Im starting this dairy to keep track and hold myself accountable.

unsecured debts of £54k.

Have clearly been living off CC more than i ever realised. All been low apr or 0% BT, now coming to an end this year, interest is killing me, monthly payments circa £1200. 

My OH knew nothing of any of it, they knew we had a loan and CC that was in their name. Loan was used for house renovations, CC was cleared but was used for a break away and spending on said break, and also for a new kitchen. OH had no idea of balance on CC. I was fed up drowning each month and never getting anywhere. I knew it couldnt continue and I was literally killing myself working every hour and yet still not feeling like i was making progress. Last week i took a deep breath and confessed to my debts. It came as a huge shock to my OH and i really didnt know if our marriage would survive. Numerous years ago when we had 1 basic full time wage and 1 part time wage, 2 young children we ended up going bankrupt. I can’t believe i have us back in this situation. We have always had joint finances, seemed easier when children were young and the levels of income weren't equal. Now both working full time, I earn more and have always been left to be in control of finances, arrange bills, insurances etc. OH has been happy with an allowance.

Now we are having seperate finances, but splitting the bills and costs for children almost equally. OH is taking over payment for loan and CC in their name.

I will do the same, but as I earn a fair bit more and OH is now paying circa £500 for loan and cc i will need to pick up more for childrens hobbies etc which on my spreadsheet seems to work ok. Not sure how this will work further down the line if i need to submit soa but OH cannot afford any more.

I have swapped wages into separate bank, cancelled all DD. Our bills have always came out a basic account so that makes things a bit less complicated.

Have set up ‘pots’ in my new account for budgeted items and also for EF.

Now to wait on calls/letters and finally defaults.

E

Emmel

Had a text message from loan company today, 1st payment has been missed so they are asking me to call. This of course shall be ignored. Thankfully I do not have a landline to easy to ignore calls on mobile

Emmel

An Email rolled in today about a missed payment for the same loan. This is only my first missed payment, others will follow soon this month. 

Thankfully I have my EF as my car is now needing brakes

Emmel

Another email today about a missed loan payment, and 2 CC’s have reduced my limit to a few hundred above the balance

CreditCardJunkie

Do you know how you got in this situation? Was it one off purchases or a long time of overspending?

Either way you need to work out a realistic and viable budget and stick to it to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Others will come along and advise about stepchange etc.

Emmel

CreditCardJunkie said:

Do you know how you got in this situation? Was it one off purchases or a long time of overspending?

Either way you need to work out a realistic and viable budget and stick to it to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Others will come along and advise about stepchange etc.

Basically long time overspending, thinking oh its fine I can pay this off by XYZ, balance transferring and thinking it can be paid off by end of 0% period, but Ive now realised, thats not going to happen and with interest being added on now, I feel like I am drowning. I have used the step change calculator to make a soa/budget and have now started envelopes too. I feel so much less stressed now that my Husband knows as he had no idea and it was really starting to effect how I felt. Its like a weight has been lifted. And altho he cannot help pay my debts I will definitely get there.

Emmel

Loan company is texting everyday regarding missed payment, i guess the letters will arrive soon. Any spending is now coming from envelopes. My mindset has definitely shifted and i am exploring cheaper options for clothing etc

outoftheviciouscircle

Good luck with your journey, I have a similar amount of debt, well it started off the beginning of the year at £66k. 

Its great when you have that light bulb moment and it actually stays on....

Emmel

Thanks, it needs to stay on. I don’t want to live like this again. Have you had any defaults yet?

Emmel

Well a small victory tonight. I didn’t know what to have for tea, DH was unsure too. Before I would have been ordering a takeaway. Settled for a macaroni cheese micro meal with some toast. Thats at least £15-20 saved, or thats still in the food shopping pot

Emmel

I have 2 smaller debts at 0%. I have decided to pay these rather than have them default the accrue interest. 1 is argos and 1 is very. Argos was due £410 today and then that leaves £700, next 0% ends in June that is £600 and then £100 in september. Very is. £440 is september and £330 next February.

I had £700 in my emergency fund so have had to take the £410 from that. Makes me sad but I can add £700 at the end of the month when paid.

 Really need to be frugal until the end of the month. I am working quite a lot so I wont spend much. Youngest has an event with his friend next week so will need money for that and he has a day out with friends, he has some money saved for this but I will need to top it up. Felt chuffed that I got him a suit on vinted for £20 inc delivery. The waist coat didn’t fit but I visited a local fabric shop and got some more lining material for 30p, couple quid for some thread and I have managed to alter it to fit. It definitely is not perfect but Im a mum with a sewing machine not a seamstress. If it is chilly the chances are he wont even have the jacket off. Im happy with the alterations and im happy enough that it is good enough for him to wear. We had originally got some new shoes that cost £40, but after a google, i found cheaper alternatives for £20, pretty much the same. He is a young teen who doesn’t even own a pair of jeans so the chances of them being worn again are slim so happy with my vinted purchase and cheaper shoes. He seen a shirt he liked in next that was £45, normally i would have bought it (on a CC) but after finding the suit I looked on vinted and picked one similar up for £7. I don’t grudge money for clothes they will get the wear out of, but this shift will likely be worn once on holiday.