How to support elderly parents & vulnerable son

pickledonionspaceraider

It seems you definitely need social services on board here.  Your brother is very unwell.

People saying you are over reacting really do not know the situation.  If he is threatening your elderly parents, I would be very worried indeed and want him away from them ASAP.  People who are mentally unwell can and will attack those around them.  He needs to move to an environment in which he can thrive, and and your parents can be safe, like now.

Social services certainly do have the power to act - esp if your brother is deemed unworthy of making his own decisions and they can apply for a DOLs

sevenhills

It will be really difficult to evict a son from a parents home, you have said he doesn't see them.
So you support your parents instead of allowing your brother to create conflict and he may be of some aid. You will then remain your parents main go to person.

elsien

pickledonionspaceraider said:

It seems you definitely need social services on board here.  Your brother is very unwell.

People saying you are over reacting really do not know the situation.  If he is threatening your elderly parents, I would be very worried indeed and want him away from them ASAP.  People who are mentally unwell can and will attack those around them.  He needs to move to an environment in which he can thrive, and and your parents can be safe, like now.

Social services certainly do have the power to act - esp if your brother is deemed unworthy of making his own decisions and they can apply for a DOLs

It really isn’t that simple. A DoLS applies to care home and hospital settings if people don’t understand their own care and support needs. It cannot be used to forcibly remove someone from their own home. 

 

And if he is so mentally unwell any actions would need to come from mental health and potentially being hospitalised under the Mental Health Act which falls under different legislation. It still doesn’t automatically mean that he lacks capacity around where he lives. Or that even if he went into hospital he couldn’t return home again. 

My relative was offered supported living after being sectioned but his parents said he could return home even though he isolated in his room, only came down at night, and was verbally aggressive. So he went home again and things carried on as before. 

No-one is saying the OP is overreacting; what they are saying is that the parents need to be willing to try to progress things and at the moment they aren’t.

Pushing back to the mental health team might be a better starting point, but they are overstretched so the OPs parents would need to be honest about what is happening and how they feel. Which they may or may not be able to bring themselves to do.