Simplifying Life

judderman62

lilac_lady wrote: »

Women are so good at feeling guilty. We multi task all the time, put others first and then wonder why we're stressed out. I hope Mary can make time for herself without the guilt. Sometimes I fleetingly envy selfish people but then I think I wouldn't like to have their nature so it's catch 22 for most of us.

you can't multi task - that's just a myth :rolleyes: :rolleyes:



:whistle: :whistle:

icandream

Hello all
Well, I'm still ploughing thru, and have reached page 16 in your mega-thread! Life is getting in the way of me sitting and solidly reading thru, but I've just popped to the end to catch up and say again, thank you for a hugely inspirational thread. I'm going to keep going, and will emerge eventually, I'm sure.
I'm sorry for what you are going through, Mary, but you have found a good virtual home. I'm wading through a much smaller quagmire, but it's felt deep to me, but a part of my epiphany has come through finally realising I cannot be responsible for other people's happiness. I can do my best, and am constantly trying (I most definitely aim to make at least one other (varied) person's day easier/lighter/more fun every day, because I get so much out of doing this).
Gosh, sorry to rabbit on and extend the thread slightly off-topic even more. Just really wanted to say, I hope things do start to get better. Hugs.

rosieben

judderman62 wrote: »

you can't multi task - that's just a myth :rolleyes: :rolleyes:



:whistle: :whistle:

Judd, you do like living dangerously dont you?

rosieben

Hello icandream :hello: lovely to see you again. this thread is just wonderful and as Ceridwen said, its fascinating the way it twists and turns and changes - and over 1000 posts Ceridwen! :T

judderman62

who me Rosie ?

:whistle: :whistle:

ceridwen

well Rosieben - guess thats me and Aril both commented on the changing nature of this thread. Evolving I guess. Right at this moment - I bet at MSE Towers they are referring to this as the "love-in" thread (lol).

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http://freehugscampaign.org/

Rowan9

icandream - it's great that you realised you are not responsible for other people's happiness. I think that this is a big break through in 'stuck thinking'. While it is lovely to see people happy, it can wear you out and leave you feeling 'empty' as you have not seen to your own needs. Sometimes there is a little voice crying 'what about me?' as you rush around pleasing and sorting out other people. I suppose it's all about balance but definitely a good thought that each person is responsible for his or herself, to the extent possible for them in some cases, I know.

Hope everyone has a good day today. The sun is shining here and the first dog blanket has been washed through with bleach and ready to go on the line. Then dog no 2's blankie gets done. I buy them as used blankets at charity shops and they keep them really warm.

Other plans for today include taking some books to a charity shop and searching in the loft (hate heights eeek) for the illusive bag which holds loads of lovely linen and also some everyday hand towels. All the family have looked for it and been unable to find it. I know it's there - been there 10 years!! Hope it is ok when i do find it. I'm down to 3 hand towels and 2 small guest towels which do for the down stairs loo, and I don't want to buy new ones.

A leisurely plan for today is to read Loving Kindness by Susan Salzberg. In fact, I am going to be really kind to myself - get the blanket hung out and then go straight to the settee and read this for a while with a nice scented candle lit. Bliss for a Friday morning. Just a little 'me' time - yippee!!

w

Janeryan

Hi all

Just to reccomend "In praise of SLOW" by Carl Honore.I'm working my way through it(slowly of course) and it covers all aspects of life from a slow point of view.

The fact that I have read the end yet is a bit of a miracle in itself as normally I do that to see if I think the book is worth reading!

Have finished "Affluenza" now and there was a waiting list for it at the library-another sign that this style of living is taking off.Also in Marie Claire mag the front cover of the Feb issue(passed onto me by a friend) says "Goodbye bling,hello happines-why simplicity is the new luxury"

Have sorted out my jewellry box now and all the old/broken stuff is ready to pass onto to my "jewellry making" friend together with a big bag of clothes that I have "pre-loved" and some books.

Well done to everyone on their journeys so far!

icandream

Thank you Rosie, and thank you wmf. :T
I'm good today: I've been helping my mum declutter, instead of doing my own, and she was so pleased it was out of all proportion to what I did, which gave me a lovely feeling inside. I've also managed to find a freecycle home for my old videos, which is a nice feeling - a good home. When freecycle works properly, it's a fab place for like-minded people. I'm going to look up the two books mentioned. My journey started with The Secret, and I've come a long way from that, but that is what started me off feeling that I have to look after myself first. It doesn't always work, and I still suffer huge guilt trips, but it's a good place to begin. And it means I'm in a far better place from which to help others. What's that saying, a journey of a 1,000 miles begins with a step... it feels small sometimes, but it's achievable.
Hope you're okay today, Mary. Hugs for you.

mary43

Hello all !
Brilliant quotes Ceridwen and Aril .............and thanks to all for your kind thoughts.
I feel much more positive today...........helped a lot when a lad who I used to care for phoned..........well into his 20's now and the relationships on a totally different level ...............he was quite happy to listen to me droaning on about how I'd felt lately and ended up making me laugh.
Felt much more positive when I got up this morning..............went and had my photo taken for the new bus pass...............eek !!! Enough to depress anyone ! Was that really me in the photo ????? I did ask the very kind and very young chap if he could possibly air brush it here and there for me................lol
Then spent all morning creating a mums day card for mum............thought I'd find it hard to do under the circumstances but I didn't and I'm quite pleased with the result. Photocopied a photo of her Mum and one of Mum as a little girl, put them in an oval frame I'd printed off and stuck them on the card with some ribbon and flowers. Think one of the pictures is a bit askew...........lol Never mind ...........its not that bad.

judderman62 -I did contemplate trying to find another counsellor but now I know something is going to be done, even if I do have to wait, it makes me feel better about things. Plus with you lot here for support, I'll be fine I'm certain.

So................once more no simplifying in the way of clearing out the material stuff but hopefully a chap from freecycle is calling tonight to collect two sets of stereo speakers OH had given to him.............says yes to things on the offchance we might actually want something thats offered.....................lol

Have a great day with tons of positive thinking..................:T