Child maintenance on 50/50 co parenting but 3 sleeps a week

Tezap

elsien said:

With the arrangements as you currently have them it doesn't look as if either of you will be able to take the children away unless one of you forgoes some time with them?

We can swap days/nights by agreement and my ex has requested this a few times so far already and I have been nice and accommodated hoping it might be reciprocated in future.

I would like to take the kids on holiday but to be honest don't see myself being able to ever afford this as I only have around £30k after tax/ni and child maintanence payments and then have a £200k mortgage to service while still incurring half the costs of bringing up the kids.

I know others don't agree but it really does feel like I am expected to pay for my kids twice and this system seems very unfair and has the potential to ruin my standard of living based on where they sleep after I have fed them on Saturday nights. Even when I have the kids I can't take them on the outings I would have wanted to and am excessively penny pinching to keep solvent.

ZaSa1418

Tezap said:

stymied said:

I agree with @ZaSa1418
Definitely sit down with a calendar and mark the days, i would be surprised if you don't enter the 'More than 3 nights a week - but not half the time (156 to 174 nights a year)' band.

As per my opening post I have them exactly 3 sleeps a week so had assumed I am in the '2 to 3 nights a week (104 to 155 nights a year)' range but you are right there are 52 weeks in a year so I must have them 156 days (52x7 = 364 days per year and a year is at least 365 days so my 3 days must occur at least that often each year) which would put me in the 'More than 3 nights a week - but not half the time (156 to 174 nights a year)' band even though it's not more than 3 nights a week?? I guess it could be every 7 years?

Is there an error on the child maintenance website as more than 3 days a week should be 157+ days per year? Which is right for exactly 3 days per week? Is there any guidance on this?

Go by the total number throughout the year which takes you into the more than 3 nights a week.
I don't think it is an error at all as if you do 155/ 52 it is less than 3.  Even if it is that is not your problem, you have them 156 days a year so make sure they are aware you have them 156 nights a year. 
I think it is much easier they do a how many nights a year figure as there are so many different schedules for children with 2 homes. 

tightauldgit

Tezap said:

stymied said:

I agree with @ZaSa1418
Definitely sit down with a calendar and mark the days, i would be surprised if you don't enter the 'More than 3 nights a week - but not half the time (156 to 174 nights a year)' band.

As per my opening post I have them exactly 3 sleeps a week so had assumed I am in the '2 to 3 nights a week (104 to 155 nights a year)' range but you are right there are 52 weeks in a year so I must have them 156 days (52x7 = 364 days per year and a year is at least 365 days so my 3 days must occur at least that often each year) which would put me in the 'More than 3 nights a week - but not half the time (156 to 174 nights a year)' band even though it's not more than 3 nights a week?? I guess it could be every 7 years?

Is there an error on the child maintenance website as more than 3 days a week should be 157+ days per year? Which is right for exactly 3 days per week? Is there any guidance on this?

The CMS calculation is based on total nights in a year, not nights in a week. So if you are sure it's 156 nights then you are in the 3/7ths band not the 2/7ths band. 

It's even more fun at the next break point as one finishes at 174 days and the next one starts at 'more than 175 days' so who knows what happens at exactly 175 days. 

Regarding the child maintenance holding up the consent order - I don't understand why this is. It doesn't have to say anything more than 'Child maintenance will be paid in accordance with CMS guidelines' in fact it doesn't need to be in there at all.   

Singlemummy_2

I’m not sure if this is helpful or not but in my experience having these half weekends is fine at first but when you want to make plans/move on or whatever, when one person is being difficult and not wanting to change it an become hard work. Also where is your quality time with kids? Only Saturday until they are dropped off/collected?

Regarding holidays - yes I agree why wouldn’t the arrangement stay but what about if you take them away on holiday? Are you restricted to Monday and Tuesday only? You will have extra days if you agree to share the holidays too (so if you or she wants to take them away for a week)

My arrangement with my sons dad was initially every Wednesday over night, collection from school and drop off at school Thursday AM (or from home during holidays). Then week 1 Friday after school until Saturday 3pm, week 2, Saturday 3pm until Sunday 6pm which then changed to Monday AM drop off at school.

This worked fine until I then met someone else and we had a child and wanted to utilise his parents Holiday home at weekends - we had to be back for 3pm Saturday or could not leave until 3pm Sunday - we dealt with it despite grumbling as the arrangement was in place before the partner and new child and did t want to rock the boat with the ex 

Then a few years later I split up with my partner and our arrangement was automatically alternative weekends plus Wednesday overnight. This resulted in some weekends my daughter wasn’t there as she was with dad, and my son was, and the other weekend she saw her brother for half a day until 3pm Saturday when he went to his dads. (Of course they are with me through the week but with school/work etc it’s not the best quality time as you know)

In the end I asked my sons dad to change our routine to alternative weekend's to be in line - he refused and long story short we ended up in mediation and coming up with a parenting plan…

Every Wednesday he collects from school and drops off Thursday AM at school (or my home during holidays)

Every other Tuesday, collect from school for tea and return home usually around 7/7.30pm

Alternative weekends Friday after school until Sunday 4pm (at his request, it used to be 6pm/after tea)

School holidays -
One continuous week each at Easter,
2 continuous weeks each during summer (2 together or 2 separate), plus we share childcare costs for the 2 remaining weeks IF I need childcare (not always the case as sometimes have family to help or can work from home) 
Alternative Xmas eves (one year xmas eve with one parent and Xmas day with the other - same as New Year’s Eve/day) + usually works out at 3 other days each over Xmas holidays 

The other school hols (Feb/May/October) we share childcare if I need it as above

During school hols on a “normal week” the normal routine applies 

He gives maintenance as he says is calculated by CM calculator. I don’t know what he earns but after 10 years of no increase I asked for it to be reviewed knowing he earned more money than previously - he upped it and also directly pays for school dinners and half of school uniform each year (i buy it and let him know the full cost, he sends me half)  - this is our agreement. 

He does not need to buy him extra clothes but chooses to do so as doesn’t like to send “his clothes” to my house - I’m not precious , my view is they are our child’s clothes and should be able to go between the houses.

Now my son is 15 the arrangement is looser as he sometimes chooses not to go to his dads or just asks if he can go for tea and come home. Generally the weekends have stayed the same but he’s often out with mates regardless of whose house he as at that weekend

my daughters routine is on Wednesday she is collected from school by her grandparents and stays overnight with them (dads parents) and dropped off Thursday am at school. Then alternative weekends Friday to Sunday to her dads house

School holidays - sometimes he has her sometimes not, I don’t rely on him so she’s generally with me or in childcare, he contributes towards after school club year round (he pays £14 a month for 2 club nights) and so I use this towards club/childcare during school holidays but I’m paying the bulk of childcare so try to arrange free childcare via family or take my holidays accordingly or work from home in holidays 

He sometimes asks to have her an extra day here and there and I let her decide if she wants to go - she generally does. He will contribute to school uniform (half) plus buys her clothes if he feels she needs them, they stay mainly at his house but every now and then I’ll send a stack to his as they end up coming back to mine on Sundays 

just realises that’s a long message but my point was to look at how you might split holidays (especially summer ones) and take those days into consideration for your overall nights at your house for your calculations - at some point you will want them for a week or two. So think about that now and calculate accordingly