Money Moral Dilemma: Is it wrong I don't want to adopt the cat I feed and have to pay vet bills?



  • k_k_k_katy
    k_k_k_katy Forumite Posts: 35
    Third Anniversary 10 Posts

    Is it wrong I don't want to adopt the cat I feed and have to pay vet bills?

    Of course it is.  Bad enough that you would deliberately take someone's cat, let alone also expect them to fund its health care for you!  Unbelievable.

  • MalMonroe
    MalMonroe Forumite Posts: 5,783
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    I would have done the same, to be honest. There are two stray cats who come to our flat and we feed them and they also visit my neighbour, who also feeds them. We couldn't stop feeding them now, especially as we've put a purpose built outdoor house type thing outside for them. (neighbour has one too so the cats have one each - we both lost our beloved older cats last year and then these two strays appeared from nowhere. They won't stay inside yet but we re hoping that will happen.If it doesn't, then it doesn't.

    BUT if we saw either cat was ill, or injured we would take it to a vet. We're not wealthy by any means but couldn't leave an animal to suffer or starve. I've been told that some vets will treat strays at reduced costs but even if they didn't I'd still take an injured or sick animal. Not all stray cats can find themselves alternative accommodation or food, I've seen so many photos from our local 'save a stray' facebook page of thin, dirty, hungry and injured cats it's sickening. The two cats we feed, though, don't really look like strays - bright eyed and bushy tailed as they are.

    At least your neighbour has confessed to not really wanting the cat. I couldn't stop feeding a cat once I'd started and if I knew it was relying on me.

    If you're not prepared to care for the cat if it's ill or injured though, I do have to agree with MissMills81 above when she says you may have to try to find a new home for it. You really do have to think of the cat and its welfare now. 

    (My own thoughts and opinions though.)
    Please note - taken from the Forum Rules and amended for my own personal use (with thanks) : It is up to you to investigate, check, double-check and check yet again before you make any decisions or take any action based on any information you glean from any of my posts. Although I do carry out careful research before posting and never intend to mislead or supply out-of-date or incorrect information, please do not rely 100% on what you are reading. Verify everything in order to protect yourself as you are responsible for any action you consequently take.
  • Gromace
    Gromace Forumite Posts: 4
    First Post
    🙄 this is why my poor cat is overweight, someone has decided to feed her for whatever reason and she's at risk of heart and thyroid problems, vet is forever getting on at me, but I barely feed her now to make up for this. Don't feed someone else's cat!
  • Groom
    Groom Forumite Posts: 48
    Second Anniversary 10 Posts
    What would you have done if you hadn't discovered the cat had a home and it had become ill, would you have left it to suffer? Presumably you started feeding it because you thought it was a stray, once you found otherwise, you should have stopped. By feeding it, you have made the cat attached to you and you have a duty to care for it. If you don't want that responsibilty, stop feeding it and tell the neighbour what you are doing. Tell them if they can't care for it to contact a Cat Rescue and get it re-homed. 
  • Xenophon
    Xenophon Forumite Posts: 13
    Part of the Furniture Name Dropper First Post Combo Breaker
    mentm said:
    You effectively stole someone’s cat and now it needs to go to the vet you don’t want to take responsibility for it.

    same thing happened to us we didn’t see the cat for months then when it was ill the neighbour brought it back.
    Why didn't you go and take it back if it was with the neighbour for months.
  • Xenophon
    Xenophon Forumite Posts: 13
    Part of the Furniture Name Dropper First Post Combo Breaker
    edited 8 March at 2:44AM
    A lot of people accusing the person of stealing without any evidence at all. The original poster said the cat was hungry and thin. I couldn't turn an animal away like that regardless of whether it was a genuine stray or someone else's. Callous to say don't feed it and see the poor thing suffer.

    I've seen it before, some owners neglecting their cat(s) and then other decent neighbours having to feed them to keep them alive. Then when the neglectful neighbour is asked why their cat prefers to live with someone else they say it was because it was stolen or enticed away when the truth is that they never looked after the poor thing properly in the first place. 

    My mum got accused of enticing a poor neglected cat away. She then said right have it back and look after it this time, after my mum had fed, wormed and de-fleaded the cat. Only for the cat to come back in the same condition weeks later! Now that is heartbreaking. She eventually took it in and the neighbour moved away probably still saying her cat was "stolen". My mum's cat as it became is still doing well, lovely healthy thing 8 years on and an integral part of the family.

  • Lisa280571
    Lisa280571 Forumite Posts: 8
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
    This lady started feeding what she thought was a stray (no collar) so shame on the people that have told this lady that she should not!!! She has every right to not want to take on full responsibility for the cat. I would advise that you slowly start to feed it less each day then it should return home.
  • CapeTown
    CapeTown Forumite Posts: 80
    Third Anniversary 10 Posts Name Dropper
    amangons said:

    I could share loads of cat pics and tell you you are a nasty selfish person. Cats are wonderful, and not really an expensive hobby. It's ONLY if they get ill that it becomes expensive 

    I won't so any of that 

    If you don't want the responsibility of looking after a cat, that's fine.

    Me, I'm a cat hero, and proud to have been a cat daddy, and am a cat daddy to a new cat now. I love the little shts.

    I don't want people who don't want them, to have them. 

    If you weren't sure, you might ask around mates, but nope, you're on a national forum saying, I don't want, am i wrong.

    No, you are not wrong. I say that straight faced as a long term cat daddy (over 20 years currently, but of course different cats). 

    Anyone who tells thos person anything other than, fine, don't have a cat, is in the wrong 

    Never guilt a person into owning a cat. It's many years of service to look after, and even if they don't get ill, will need to be fed and watered for the rest of their lives... Which ain't really expensive, not really 

    So, I repeat, if you don't want the cat, don't take it 

    It is a shame, that a cat may have to go into a shelter, and spend ages before anyone shows it love, but that his problem now, not yours.

    Don't worry, he's a great cat, and someone will adopt him and give him a better home, a loving home 

    Have a great day
    Cat daddy ?! 
  • CapeTown
    CapeTown Forumite Posts: 80
    Third Anniversary 10 Posts Name Dropper
    Several points here. Cats choose staff rather than people adopting them. Having had many cats over the years I can honestly say that we very rarely had any vets bills. Our last cat was over 20 when she died and probably only went twice. I did occasionally get her vaccinated but it was a rare occurrence.  Why not ask the owner to pay any bills. Seems fair.
    We borrow a dog. It is not our dog... she belongs to someone else. Scheme is called Borrow my Doggy. All the joy of a pet and none of the expense. Is there something similar for cats maybe
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Forumite Posts: 34,018
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    MalMonroe said:
    I would have done the same, to be honest. There are two stray cats who come to our flat and we feed them and they also visit my neighbour, who also feeds them. 
    Slightly different scenario to the MMD.
    This cat has an owner and I'm sure if the author of the MMD had tried harder would have found that out earlier rather than 'eventually'.

    This is one of the most shocking MMDs I've read.
    That poor cat deserves better from its owner who apparently didn't even bother to find out where their cat was (assuming they are not neighbours living in 40 acre farms) and from the author of this MMD who clearly wants a cat without the responsibilities.
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