Advice MIL died without leaving a will

Keep_pedalling

tetrarch said:

paul2louise said:

this is what she sent to my OH
"i think mum would be happy if all the grandchildren were treated equally and so are you and me. If we just did a 50/50 split then your son would benefit so much more than any of the others and mum would turn in her grave if that happened. "

It really upset him. i really appreciate all your help xxx

What a disgraceful message to have been sent. No wonder your husband is upset.

This is where one person's definition of "fair" (coloured by her own choice of circumstance) is at odds with what the law states. In intestacy, it's not about "fair", it's about the law.

IMO, as other posters have said, your husband needs to get involved in the process. First thing is to check whether his Executor rights have been waived - this is somethig he would have to have signed to relinquish, so this first hurdle determines what can happen next. This puts you in a very invidious position of being the "evil" sister-in-law and "wicked" Auntie, but your husband's peace of mind needs sorting now and this will come to a head at some point. You should encourage him to grasp the nettle but offer your full support to help him through it and the inevitable fallout.

I have just finished a provbate application and it is a pain in the proverbial, but niothing to be afraid of. Wishing you the very best of luck

Regards

Tet

There was no will so he has no executor rights. It was a big mistake letting his sister take on the administrator role on her own, but he now needs to assert himself and make it absolutely clear that he expects the estate to be distributed as per the law and that he expects this to be done without further delay and that she also needs to supply him with a copy of the estate accounts.

tetrarch

Apologies for the error.

Does an application for the rights of Administrator not have the same process for other siblings to actively recuse themeslves from the process?

Regards

Tet

Flugelhorn

tetrarch said:

Apologies for the error.

Does an application for the rights of Administrator not have the same process for other siblings to actively recuse themeslves from the process?

Regards

Tet

Usually it is a case of one of the "group in line" ie in this case the two offspring of the deceased to apply, they could both apply together or just one but there is no requirement for the "non-applying" one to be involved. 
I was involved in one case where there were 10 nieces and nephews and 2 surviving siblings - one nephew got the LoA and just got on with it, the rest of us were quite happy for him to do it 
If there was a will it would only be named execs  who would be eligible and need to renounce

es5595

paul2louise said:

this is what she sent to my OH
"i think mum would be happy if all the grandchildren were treated equally and so are you and me. If we just did a 50/50 split then your son would benefit so much more than any of the others and mum would turn in her grave if that happened. "

It really upset him. i really appreciate all your help xxx

I’d send a reply saying 

“if that’s what would have made mum happy she’d have made a will!

It’s too late to do a deed of variation as it’s over two years, but once you’ve received your 50% it’s your choice on what to do with it. 

Unfortunately, I’ve been relying on receiving it for the last 36+ months, and I think mum would definitely be turning in her grave to know I’m having to keep slogging on at work and the health issues it’s causing me. 

Please let me know if you need any assistance getting this sorted, as it’s taken a long time already”

TBagpuss

es5595 said:

paul2louise said:

this is what she sent to my OH
"i think mum would be happy if all the grandchildren were treated equally and so are you and me. If we just did a 50/50 split then your son would benefit so much more than any of the others and mum would turn in her grave if that happened. "

It really upset him. i really appreciate all your help xxx

I’d send a reply saying 

“if that’s what would have made mum happy she’d have made a will!

It’s too late to do a deed of variation as it’s over two years, but once you’ve received your 50% it’s your choice on what to do with it. 

Unfortunately, I’ve been relying on receiving it for the last 36+ months, and I think mum would definitely be turning in her grave to know I’m having to keep slogging on at work and the health issues it’s causing me. 

Please let me know if you need any assistance getting this sorted, as it’s taken a long time already”

Something along those lines sounds sensible.

Maybe a little more conciliatory, e.g.

"Mum never suggested to me that she wanted to leave her estate to the grand children,  rather than to us as her children, and I believe that if she had wanted to split things unequally she would have talked to both of us and would have made a will. Obviously you and I can then each decide when and how much we each chose to pass on to our kids, from our respective shares.  Right now, it's unlikely that my son will benefit at all as of course the inheritance is mine and yours, not his or his cousins.

Unfortunately, I am not in a position to be able to agree to your request  to give you or your children any part of my inheritance.

I appreciate that with Covid etc there have ben delays with the administration but would be grateful if you could confirm whether you are now at the point of being able to transfer my share to me, and of not, let me know what still needs to be done, and whether there is anything I can help with to complete the process". 

Since she did not make a will, intestacy is very straightforward. equal split between her children. What each 'child' then does with their own share is their choice. If MIL had wished to split everything between her grandchildren, or indeed to leave anything to them directly, she was free to make a will , I am sorry that your husband is getting these upsetting messages from his sister. He could, if he wished, offer her a small amount to reflect the fact that she's been doing the work of the administration but this would be maybe a couple of hundred pounds as a 'thank you' , not a wholesale redistribution. 

Please remind your husband that he has no reason at all to feel guilty, his sister is being inappropriate in trying to pressure him into giving up his entitlment.

[Deleted User]

It's really not complicated.
Intestacy applies and as the estate appears to be below IHT threshold, it should be resolved in a reasonable time frame.
Any previous wishes or intentions are irrelevant, it's only the law that counts now.

As MSE forums show, there's little worse than families after a death where money is involved.
I would be inclined to spend on legal advice as soon as possible, after three years something's not right.

diystarter7

Hi OP

It's 50/50 all day long unless siblings decide differently

If I was in that scenario, I'd be polite and then draw the line, 200k won't go a long way ie 100k each if it goes to court and me, on principle would do that unless I felt my sibling/s were close and looked after mum/etc and then I may say have the lot if that is what you want.

Courts are expensive but at times principles count for a lot to some people. I don't mind gifting money etc, etc but when someone, anyone is trying a fast one on me, its a no, no

About your hubby feeling like he is, its only natuarl for a very decent man/woman to feel like who are nice, kind, very reasonable, piolie and very, very fair. Sadly, as you know, not everyone is like that.

Good luck

paul2louise

I explained the response I had got from everyone here. He put an email together yesterday and slept on it and sent it tonight. It was quite simple and stated it was basically between the 2 of them and he had no intention of involving the grandchildren. He has further replies ready if she pushes it further. I am holding back unless he needs me to push it further. I think as it was the first time she had mentioned it splitting like this it shocked him. I understand that it must of hurt so I was trying to not push him too quickly. He is a strong stable man and astute with his money so I don't doubt he will sort out something as important as this.  So just waiting for her reply and then see what happens next. 

Can I thank everyone again for your replies. X

RAS

Have you actually confirmed that she has administered the estate? www.gov.uk/search-will-probate. Costs nothing to check the index but the new system is clunky; if the surname is Smithson, strip back to smit.

Not least.as that would confirm the value put on it.

paul2louise

RAS said:

Have you actually confirmed that she has administered the estate? www.gov.uk/search-will-probate. Costs nothing to check the index but the new system is clunky; if the surname is Smithson, strip back to smit.

Not least.as that would confirm the value put on it.

Date of Probate was 18th June 2020.