MeandO's money-shuffling

debtfreewannabe321

Oh @MeandO I could have written your post a few months ago about me and my DS. He's since moved out to live with the 'fun' dad because he thinks the grass is greener with no rules over there. He is 16 so I couldn't stop him but my heart shattered well and truly as I have always put my children first and to be dumped like this feels like utter abandonment to be honest and why did I even bother.... All we can keep doing though is being the parent we need to be and hoping these children will come round eventually. Hope you're keeping ok.
Your Mortgage Ops are amazing by the way - I have gone from 10% goals to 1% goals in the hope of achieving something😬

MeandO

Thank you for popping by and commenting foxgloves, newstartforme, HSL2 and DFW321. Apologies for the AWOLness, we have been away supporting DS at his sporting event which was wonderful but very costly. I wasn’t going to go originally due to the expense, but OH kindly contributed greatly towards the cost of everything. It has, however, cost more than I had anticipated as I ended up being caterer for DS as the organisers had failed to consider actually feeding the team any lunch or snacks or providing enough drinks, so I was buying and taking food and drinks to DS every day and prices were much more expensive in this country than on home soil. OH and I kept food and drink spends for ourselves very limited - we had a decent breakfast at the hotel every day, refilled our water bottles and then didn’t really eat until the evening, often a sandwich or something small. We purchased a travel card each which meant the buses we had to take every day were much cheaper and walked between train stations/hotels etc where we could, mainly for the exercise. My savings have, however, taken a beating and my ISA is now down to under £1K until I get paid at the end of the month and until the ex finally (hopefully) pays me the money he owes me. 

Talking of being paid, I have had a pay rise which will equate to around £70 a month extra but this will then lower my UC entitlement so I will not be £70 better off per month. I am grateful for any extra at the moment though! I should also receive some back pay which will go straight into the ISA to try and top that up again. I have decided to forego the mortgage OPs for now and concentrate on building the ISA up as it is now much lower than I feel comfortable with. I do have a car savings pot which has over £1K in it, but the major service and car tax at the end of this month will drastically drain that.  

I also remembered that I need to buy DS new school shoes before September. Thankfully I put the £60 I usually pay per month for school dinners into the uniform/school pot so there’s over £250 in there presently.

Work has been pretty horrible today, in fact it’s been pretty bad for a while but I haven’t really mentioned it on here in the hope that things would improve. To cut a long story short, I’ve been going through what I can only describe a bit of bullying at work lately and it’s really been making me feel quite low. It was really subtle at first and has been quite ‘indirect’ but now opportunities and training haven’t been offered to me as they have to two of my colleagues who do the same job. One of them is related to the boss, the other is paid a lot less as they re lower on the pay scale due to the time they have been with the establishment. I am the only one with a school age child and barriers are now being put up against me involving one manager deliberately organising important events at the only times I am not in during the week. He asks my availability (which he should know anyway!) and then deliberately books things on for the one hour of the day that I can’t do due to childcare. When I agreed to go back full time it was on the basis that my hours worked around school hours and now they are trying to deny this. Thankfully I insisted on writing this into my contract as I could foresee this happening at some point. Now they are moving goalposts and changing rules and procedures which have existed for years and denying that they were ever as they were, gaslighting me, almost. We have seen a vast drop in work the past few months and it is concerning, but now I feel like I am being lined up to be thrown under a bus when cuts have to be made. Another reason why I’m going to divert OP’s to the ISA for the foreseeable as it wouldn’t surprise me if I don’t have a job by the end of the year. I had a discreet little cry this morning (so DS didn’t see) after a pretty rubbish meeting where I was made to feel like a spare part. I was also told ‘we have ways done this like X’ when I have been doing the job for over 20 years and know we have never done it that way! Other colleagues agreed with me afterwards but chose not to speak up, unfortunately. 

I was on a real downer this morning but have tried to turn my day around and focus on the positives instead…. 

DS has had a good day with two of his friends, who are lovely. They’ve been back and forth to the house for drinks and snacks whilst playing footy and a range of sports in the park next to our house and it’s been nice to hear them all laughing and just having a good time together. They’re also both really polite and ‘good kids’. He has some great friends whom I hope will be his friends for life. He is happy albeit tired (although denying the tiredness presently but his yawns and eyes are not backing him up!). 

The weather has been nice enough to cut the grass and get another load of washing dry so the garden looks neat now and the washing is done. 

I have had several nice cups of tea (after horrible teabags in the country we went to last week!) and a couple of cups of lovely coffee. I’ve eaten well and only eaten when I’ve been genuinely hungry rather than the normal habit of reaching for sugary foods when stressed or upset. We had chicken skewers, tray baked veg and couscous for tea tonight so both ate well, though DS has decided he’s not a couscous fan, so that has been noted by the chef! 

I have not spent a penny today and have paid off money spent on the CC last week, so that is clear. 

I have also contacted the broadband provider about the poor signal upstairs after the new ‘all singing’ BB was out in a few weeks ago so that should hopefully be rectified for free soon. Likewise, I have contacted the local water company about a free leaky loo fix as I’ve realised my loo is constantly leaking which may explain our large water bills. I’m hoping that can be fixed for free too as I could do without finding money for a plumber, especially when finding a reliable plumber in the first place is not easy here.

My bed is calling me now so I must go… sleep well all x 

Mrs_Money_Penny

Sorry to hear work isn’t going well. It’s so upsetting to not be treated equally and fairly. I hope you had a good time away at your sons sporting event. So annoying about the food. Hopefully things will calm down money wise soon. xx

debtfreewannabe321

I'm sorry to hear about work can you get some advice from anyone like a union? Diverting money to savings is the right thing to do I think. And your OPs are already fab for this year so at least you've achieved paying the mortgage down somewhat.

MeandO

Thanks Mrs_Money_Penny and DFW321. I'm not in the union, I stopped paying it years ago after a couple of instances when I asked for advice from them and they were absolutely of no help at all, in fact they ignored me three times and then were quite rude when I chased them. It wasn't worth the fee every month.

I've decided I'm going to treat my EF like a debt and 'repay' myself as quickly as possible until I build it back up without going over the savings threshold for UC. I can always then use some to pay off the mortgage if I feel able to. I'll feel less anxious when I have more of a buffer in savings.

This morning I've listed another item on vinted and reduced a few older listings that haven't sold. I'm hoping to make a few extra £'s soon. No spends should be needed today, although we're down the the last pack of DS's favourite biscuits and he eats a pack in one sitting so I may buy a couple more of those today or tomorrow, oh, and ice cream as DS used the last of it last night. So actually, a low spend day, hopefully covered from change I have in my purse. 
I need to portion some packs of chicken thighs I have in the fridge and freeze those individually. I ordered a grocery shop for delivery the night we came back from being away as I'd really run the fridge and cupboards down before we left and the last thing I wanted to do was to go shopping on the way home. It was a huge shop for us as I spent £79 to stock everything up as I knew DS would be with me all week this week too, but also utilised a £13 off grocery voucher and £4 cashback has tracked via TCB. 

That's about all for today so far, I hope Wednesday treats you all kindly. x

Fabulous50

Another one here with lived experience of a extremely difficult ex, my kids are adults now and worked it all out for themselves- and have no relationship with him by their own choosing. I can still keenly recall that sense of hopelessness about his actions -you have my sympathy- it does pass.  You are doing so well and come across as so organised and focused.  I've read your diaries and you have coped with everything so well.
Work wise, I would keep a record of everything that is going on as it occurs, this will come in useful in the future. Bullying can be subtle and insidious and having a timeline to refer to will help you if you have to articulate what has gone on. 
You are doing amazing, sending you strength & support x

Newstartforme

Hi Meando , glad you had some nice time off . So sorry about the work situation,  I have been there and it's a horrible feeling to be left out and things arranged in a way that you can't be included because of your hours which they should know already , really hope it is sorted soon but great idea to note everything down , take care xx

MeandO

Thank you Fabulous50 & newstartforme. 

I’m sorry to hear you’ve been through the ex thing, Fabulous50. It’s just so draining isn’t it. DS seems to put his father on a pedestal and often talks about his father’s partner’s family more affectionately than his own family which is very difficult to cope with. I have only ever met the ex’s ‘in-law’s’ once and I have honestly never been treated so rudely by anyone before in my life, especially as I was doing my utmost to be on friendly terms with them. His partner’s mother was absolutely vile to me in front of DS and I was left shell shocked, but DS was too young to understand and thinks they’re ‘lovely people and are really kind.’ I really have to bite my tongue on that one. That’s the hardest thing - what is being said about me to DS behind closed doors. I’m getting upset thinking about it, so I shall stop for now.

Thank you both for your suggestion to keep notes at work, I will do that and also print some emails I’ve received which are not favourable. 

MeandO

Well the NSD didn’t happen! 

School shoes have been ordered, I hope they fit. That’s £99 gone  I probably could have bought cheaper but we bought similar ones last year after a string of shoes not lasting more than a month or two and these have lasted the whole year. DS also uses them for PE/sports as they’re trainer types so they do get a lot of use. They were £110 but I found a voucher code online to bring the price down and a whole 91p of cash back has also tracked. I’ll try not to spend it all at once. I’ve paid on the CC but will send the money over from the school uniform pot to cover that once we know they fit and are being kept.

I had an hour or so to myself earlier as DS was out playing football with friends. I was tempted to go and browse the charity shop but decided I’d only spend money that I don’t want to part with, so instead I went through my wardrobe and listed 5 more items on vinted. I’ve priced them higher than lower at the moment to try my luck but will lower the prices if there are no takers within a week or two.

I popped to the supermarket whilst DS was at his sport club tonight and picked up biscuits, milk, snacks to replace those I’d bought on Monday that DS had demolished already, ice cream for DS (a cheapy vanilla, nothing fancy!), some lucozade at DS’s request, ketchup and Mayo as we’d run out, and a tray of 15 YS free range eggs which were reduced to £1.05. Total was £22.10 so unfortunately not coverable from the change in my purse. I am absolutely not going near a supermarket now until next week. DS will be with his Dad for a week from the weekend and there is plenty in to cater for myself. 

MeandO

Evening all,

Finally, a NSD! I’m going to aim for another tomorrow too, we definitely don’t need any groceries. I’ve run out of raspberries and pecans which I have on my Greek yogurt most mornings but I’ll make do without for a while in the interest of money saving.
Tonight I’ve cooked a big batch of Bolognaise risotto which DS and I have had for tea. At least two more portions are left so OH and I will have that at some point over the weekend or next week. I’ve taken some steak strips out of the freezer for tomorrow which need to be used up as have been in the freezer for a fair while. I’ve found a recipe for slow cooker sesame beef so will be trying that tomorrow, minus the spring onions as we don’t have any and I’m not buying any!

DS requested to change his bedroom a little bit today and remove some stickers which I put on his wall when we moved in and I decorated his room. Ten year old DS loved them but he has outgrown them now so they’ve been removed. Unfortunately some of the paint underneath also came off with them despite using a hairdryer to heat them first, so I’ve sanded and repainted part of his room today. Thankfully I still has some paint left as it’s also been used elsewhere in the house. We’ve made plans to change a few other things in his room but I will need to buy a small tin of paint first to touch the other walls up before we remove other stuck-on-things. Unfortunately I don’t have any of the second colour left. He wants band posters up now, he’s definitely growing up fast! I’ll check out the cost of paint at the weekend and see if I can find any good deals.