Splitting equity and arrears help please!

saveallmymoney

Does she actually have money to get a solicitor to take you to court? I'd leave her to it and ignore her. If you are on the deeds you will get half the equity if it gets repossessed.

monty-doggy

tightauldgit said:

Well obviously you'd be stupid to agree to that so I guess it will go to court. As I said though, whether the house has been repossessed by then who knows? 

Obviously her getting 100% of the equity is not really better than it getting repossessed anyway so she's being rather ridiculous. 

Are there other assets to consider?

No other assets I gave her everything we owned when we split and took on all the credit cards and loans which I paid off, soley for the sake of my kids 

monty-doggy

SusieT said:

At least she is now at the point where selling is on the table, and even if you can get her to sell and give you 40% without court (which could easily cost you more than the 10% you would be letting her have) that would be a way out at this point, but she is really dragging things out and making it a lot harder for you. Such a shame people behave like that, but I hope you can get her to see sense without having to go to court.

I’ve tried reasoning with her and met with a brick wall. She wants 100% or dragging me to court however I don’t think she could afford that. But she may get legal aid. 

Had her husband threatening me with a visit and demanding I give them 100%

monty-doggy

silvercar said:

monty-doggy said:

tightauldgit said:

What are the bank saying about all of this? Have you given you a timeframe to get the arrears sorted? You said repossession was starting but there is a process they will go through. 

You're a little bit screwed to be honest because if she's willing to play hardball she can just let the house be repossessed. As could you of course. So it's in everyone's interests to sell and split the proceeds ASAP. 

The house was actually repossessed in 2019 but covid put a halt to her being evicted. Since then she’s played every card possible to have it put on hold including ‘health issues’ ‘mental health issues’ and various others. She’s had the account put on hold so many times. In the last 12 months she has made 2 token payments of £100 each. 

The mortgage company told us they will let her make an offer to pay the arrears and stay in the house right up until the point of eviction as it’s the last thing they want. 

It’s all gotten a bit more complicated since I first posted as she has now approached me saying she wants to sell and wants 100% of the equity. And if I don’t agree she’s Taking it to court. 

I suspect it hasn’t actually been repossessed. If it had then the lender would have taken ownership and there would be no mortgage obligations. Instead the arrears would build up with interest. If they last thing they want is eviction, then they haven’t repossessed.

I have spoken to the lender who said they have a possession order that they can act on st any time so they don’t need to go back to court to enforce it? 

monty-doggy

tightauldgit said:

SusieT said:

At least she is now at the point where selling is on the table, and even if you can get her to sell and give you 40% without court (which could easily cost you more than the 10% you would be letting her have) that would be a way out at this point, but she is really dragging things out and making it a lot harder for you. Such a shame people behave like that, but I hope you can get her to see sense without having to go to court.

This is what I hate about the system as it stands, it just encourages people to be completely unreasonable without any downside. By asking for 100% getting 40 or 30 or even 20 seems better than getting nothing so people start to feel pressured to compromise towards the unreasonable. And when it gets to court the judge almost never says 'you were being a !!!!!! so you're getting less than your fair share' so there's nothing lost by just being unreasonable. Equally costs are almost never awarded against parties forcing it to court unless its something completely egregious. 

My ex-wife did exactly the same - demanding 100% of the equity and refusal to negotiate. She got 50% in court. I had to pay thousands in legal fees to get the same outcome that I had offered her 3 years previous in a settlement.  

If there’s a good chance of me getting 40-50% I would self represent. I can’t afford the solicitors fees and this is ridiculous when I have done everything I can to help her in the past 

monty-doggy

saveallmymoney said:

Does she actually have money to get a solicitor to take you to court? I'd leave her to it and ignore her. If you are on the deeds you will get half the equity if it gets repossessed.

I think she may get legal aid. Last I heard she was on universal credit but her husband is a self employed plasterer 

if I would get 50% I would as you say leave it and self represent if it came to it. I’ve offered mediation but she said no.

RAS

Can we go back to first principles.

Your wife has been living in the house, without you, for 14 years, supposedly paying the mortgage?

When did you divorce? When did you get the financial settlement order?

What does the settlement order say about the house?

How old are the children now?

monty-doggy

RAS said:

Can we go back to first principles.

Your wife has been living in the house, without you, for 14 years, supposedly paying the mortgage?

When did you divorce? When did you get the financial settlement order?

What does the settlement order say about the house?

How old are the children now?

Ok when we split we had only owned the house for 6 months. She left and went into rented. 

She didn’t pay the rent and moved back into the property 12 months later with the children and so I moved out to make things easier on my kids. 

She has paid interest only but defaulted most of the time she’s been in there. In 2014 arrears were consolidated onto the end of the mortgage of over £5k as she hadn’t paid and couldn’t pay them. Gave her a clean slate to put it clearly. 

Since then it’s been a repeat and since 2019 she’s not paid or paid late 42 times.
since may last year she’s paid £100 x 2 payments.

divorced in 2013

no financial order I left everything and the house was verbally discussed that she would live there until the kids were older or she moved someone in. 

Children are 21/19/17

she moved partner in 10 years ago and remarried in 2018

tightauldgit

monty-doggy said:

RAS said:

Can we go back to first principles.

Your wife has been living in the house, without you, for 14 years, supposedly paying the mortgage?

When did you divorce? When did you get the financial settlement order?

What does the settlement order say about the house?

How old are the children now?

Ok when we split we had only owned the house for 6 months. She left and went into rented. 

She didn’t pay the rent and moved back into the property 12 months later with the children and so I moved out to make things easier on my kids. 

She has paid interest only but defaulted most of the time she’s been in there. In 2014 arrears were consolidated onto the end of the mortgage of over £5k as she hadn’t paid and couldn’t pay them. Gave her a clean slate to put it clearly. 

Since then it’s been a repeat and since 2019 she’s not paid or paid late 42 times.
since may last year she’s paid £100 x 2 payments.

divorced in 2013

no financial order I left everything and the house was verbally discussed that she would live there until the kids were older or she moved someone in. 

Children are 21/19/17

she moved partner in 10 years ago and remarried in 2018

Actually this bit is important and never occurred to me. 

If she is remarried then she cant make an application for a financial order so she can't 'take you to court'. She could ask for a pension sharing order if you have a pension but nothing else. 

You still can provided you haven't remarried. 

In the absence of a financial order to the contrary I assume that the proceeds of any sale would be split 50/50?

Maybe worth running that past your solicitor?

saveallmymoney

Yes! This is crucial and i think we all missed it.

She has remarried. I don't think she can make any claim on your finances through the courts.