Neighbours who complain

Section62

CurlySue2017 said:

I do wonder when common decency and just having a chat with people all seemed to end?  There is post after post on here from people complaining, posting notes, etc.  why can't people just talk to each other?

The OP's neighbour tried that... it was characterised as -

"Tonight the neighbour has banged on our door quite aggressively, and when answered her attitude was rather sarcastic, asking how we're settling in and then straight away moving to "just one thing. the dog..."

Whether that is an accurate reflection of the interaction and if the neighbour would recognise their actions from that description none of us can say.

However the possibility of getting into an argument, which could become an altercation, which could finish with an assault, means that some people might shy away from having a face-to-face conversation over something which is bothering them.

Personally I'd favour the chat in most situations, but I also recognise a note or letter as a suitable alternative where someone either feels uncomfortable speaking face-to-face, or where they want some kind of record of what was said (without resorting to covert video/audio recording).

TheJP

One solution i can think off for the OP is that of the call routinely cries at 6am every morning then set an alarm for 5.50am and get up before it cries eliminating the problem. Pets are great but for those that don't have them/choose not to this disturbance can often be extremely irritating. I agree with another poster, perhaps post in a forum section about how to stop my dogs early morning crying. 

Noneforit999

OP stated the dog woke them up at the same time so it seems unlikely the neighbour is lying about being woken up at the same time by a crying dog.

At the end of the day, the neighbour has raised the issue and in my opinion, being woken up by a dog crying at 06:30 is not what I would consider reasonable. 

If your neighbour has dogs, you have to expect a level of noise every now and then but 06:30 is early and its unreasonable to expect to wake others up because your dog cries.

Its possible they are grumpy and even if you fix this, they might get the hump with something else but you should at least try and go from there. We have a dog (well my wife does) and I wouldn't be best pleased if she woke me up, let alone one of the neighbours. 

We moved in 6 months ago with a dog and a toddler, previous owners were an old couple so I have no doubt we are loud sometimes but if they knocked on the door because the dog was making noise early, I would deal with it. If our son wakes up before 7, we try to ensure he keeps as quiet as he can, within the limits of what you can expect from a toddler. 

SensibleSarah

Wow - I'm glad that I don't live next door to some of the posters on this thread! I also dream of a morning when I get to lie in until 6.30am  

I live in the middle of a row of terraced houses with fairly thin walls. I can hear my neighbours on one side coughing, hoovering, having enthusiastic 'cuddle time' etc and they got a puppy in 2020 that used to cry for hours every night (they were in, they shut pup in the kitchen overnight and didn't go down to her as they were trying to avoid reinforcing the crying). I assumed that the pup would grow out of it, but nearly 3 years later, she still cries most nights and howls when they go out. Not ideal, but I live with it and I'm not going to complain to them. I'd be crying and howling too if I were left alone and shut in a small room for 20 hours a day. 

I am a dog person - but I would never allow my dogs to create persistant noise. I currently have two large rescue dogs who choose where they sleep at night and also have a dog flap so they can get into the secure garden if they need the toilet anytime - they have no reason to be noisy at night or in the morning - they can always get to me if they choose and get outside. Does that mean they are always totally quiet? Heck no. The one that chooses to sleep downstairs at night usually has a little whine for a few minutes at about 4am, which wakes me, before coming upstairs and spending the rest of the night on my bed. The one that sleeps upstairs likes to have a little bark through the window down at the milkman who usually delivers at about 5am on Tuesday mornings. I would never let them make continual noise anytime though, let alone at anti-social hours - but they are dogs - they will bark every now and again. There is actually only one neighbour in our row who doesn't have at least one dog, and they were very grateful for my noisy 'get' barking loudly recently one night because it scared off the person trying to break into his work van on his drive. Their youngest kid definitely makes much more noise overall than my dogs do though - both during the day and at night.

The way I view it, is that I chose to move into a highly populated area, with terraced houses, so I accept that neighbour noise is just going to happen. Do I love hearing my neighbour's smoker's cough every night? Not really - so, when I can afford to move, it won't be to another terraced house of similar construction. Am I going to knock on their door and ask them to stop coughing because it's keeping me awake? Of course not. 

Schwarzwald

SJE89 said:

One of my biggest fears when buying a house is winding up with neighbours who exist to cause trouble.
We've recently bought a semi-detached house and the neighbours on our other side have welcomed us, as have the ones at the other side, but not the ones on our party wall.
This alone indicated to me that these ones were either solitary people or just ignorant.
We have 2 dogs, one is a 9 month old Italian Greyhound, who has settled in remarkably well, however first thing in a morning around half 6, she will cry to which we immediately get up to see to her and she stops.
We have cameras in the house and check on her frequently when we are not there and she's good as gold.
Tonight the neighbour has banged on our door quite aggressively, and when answered her attitude was rather sarcastic, asking how we're settling in and then straight away moving to "just one thing. the dog..."
So she has complained that she is being woken up early by the dog's crying in a morning. I wouldn't care if it was loud or for a prolonged period of time, but it's quiet, we leave our doors open in the house and can only just hear her, and when we do we attend to her immediately and that is it.
We can hear our neighbours through the walls and they frequently have the TV on loud, but we take no issue with that.
Now, I'm horrified to hear we may be causing any kind of disturbance, so I am seeking ways that I can sort this out asap.

But I get the impression, that these are going to be the kind of neighbours that will complain about anything, and as a first time homeowner, want to know what I can do to put this to bed, because I don't think it will stop with the dog.

havent read all responses
but your entire post and even the title is pretty much:
my dogs are gold and sooo cute
but my neighbor is mean

aka

you are not taking responsbility that your dog's behaviour is the primary cause of annoyance, its not the neighbor!
the neigbhor might indeed be more sensitive and also her communication might be slightly more direct, but the primary cause of issue is your dog making noise and waking up people at 6.30am

you might have no issue with that as you love your dog, but it is quite ignorant to expect other to have that very same attachment.

have some sympathy with your neigbhors, regular noise at 6.30am is not very social and ignorant to other people's lifes, which is why many councils dont allow building works to start that early.

you have to start with fixing the noise issue you are causing, not blaming others to be overly sensitive

Lavendyr

OP hasn't returned I don't think. 

We live in a detached house and there is a house whose garden backs onto ours where the owners got a dog. There have been days when that poor dog has been left in the garden all day and has barked nonstop. I've been round to try and talk to the owners and no joy. Even when I knew they were in because I'd heard them in the garden minutes earlier, they didn't answer the door. So I popped a note through saying "Hey, think you have a dog, it's been barking all day, it's a bit disruptive - not sure if you are aware as you might have been out." Left our names and address, never got a direct response. Dog still barks but not as much so hopefully making them aware may have encouraged them to train the dog and/or give it the attention it needs. 

So it's not just about living in a terraced or semi-detached house - most builtup areas will be close enough that if a dog is vocal, you will hear it. 

Noneforit999

Lavendyr said:

OP hasn't returned I don't think. 

We live in a detached house and there is a house whose garden backs onto ours where the owners got a dog. There have been days when that poor dog has been left in the garden all day and has barked nonstop. I've been round to try and talk to the owners and no joy. Even when I knew they were in because I'd heard them in the garden minutes earlier, they didn't answer the door. So I popped a note through saying "Hey, think you have a dog, it's been barking all day, it's a bit disruptive - not sure if you are aware as you might have been out." Left our names and address, never got a direct response. Dog still barks but not as much so hopefully making them aware may have encouraged them to train the dog and/or give it the attention it needs. 

So it's not just about living in a terraced or semi-detached house - most builtup areas will be close enough that if a dog is vocal, you will hear it. 

Indeed, its virtually impossible to live somewhere that you will hear no dog noise at all. Dogs often go in the garden for the toilet etc and some do bark, its inevitable. We have a terrier and she barks when birds land in the garden, we live on a peninsula so birds everywhere but we quickly bring her indoors if she begins to make a noise. 

Its the same with kids, you can't expect them to be silent at all times. Anybody with kids will tell you its simply impossible to have them make no noise at all. If you want absolute silence, you need to move into the sticks with acres of land around you.

We have a similar thing with a house who's garden also backs onto ours, they let their small Dog into the garden for the toilet as many people (including us) do but instead of waiting and letting it back in, they allow it to bark and bark and bark for 10+ minutes each time and eventually let it back in like its some sort of chore. Several times a day this happens, it just barks and barks for sometimes 15 minutes or more until they can be bothered to let it back in. 

Lola_balola

This is not a neighbour problem, it is a you and your dog problem. To resolve this issue you need to 
1) take responsibility for the actions of your dog
2) train your dog
3) apologise to your neighbour 

A bit blunt and to the point but I can’t see that there’s any grey area in this!