Relationship breakdown-renting-buying

mi-key

You should be able to qualify for a mortgage of around £117K ( not taking into account any child maintenance agreement with your ex ) so with deposit and allowing for the other costs, looking at a property value of maybe around £110K. Would that be enough to get a flat or small house somewhere not too far from your ex and also afford the repayments? ( I guess a 30 or 40 min drive would be fine ).

I think it is always better to buy if you can rather than rent, even if its somewhere cheap and not so nice for now until your financial situation improves. 

J1one

_Penny_Dreadful said:

Who has been the primary care giver so far? It sounds like you unless your ex has also been working part time to facilitate nursery and school runs.  That being the case it’s entirely reasonable that you continue to be the primary care giver. 

I think in your situation I would move into a private rental and then once I had my promotion and saw how my finances were going as a single parent revisit the idea of buying.  

Whilst the property is solely in your ex’s name have you ever contributed to the capital of the property? I know there’s no mortgage but have you ever contributed towards the cost of installing a new kitchen or similar to the property? 

The reason people like you ex has £40k sitting in a current account is because he’s tighter then two coats of paint. 

Only in marginal ways, I paid half towards a new en suite bathroom. It’s probably not contributed greatly to the CV. Maybe £5k.  

A  ready to go two bedroom property in this area to buy is around £165000. A fixer upper around £135000. 

_Penny_Dreadful

J1one said:

_Penny_Dreadful said:

Who has been the primary care giver so far? It sounds like you unless your ex has also been working part time to facilitate nursery and school runs.  That being the case it’s entirely reasonable that you continue to be the primary care giver. 

I think in your situation I would move into a private rental and then once I had my promotion and saw how my finances were going as a single parent revisit the idea of buying.  

Whilst the property is solely in your ex’s name have you ever contributed to the capital of the property? I know there’s no mortgage but have you ever contributed towards the cost of installing a new kitchen or similar to the property? 

The reason people like you ex has £40k sitting in a current account is because he’s tighter then two coats of paint. 

Only in marginal ways, I paid half towards a new en suite bathroom. It’s probably not contributed greatly to the CV. Maybe £5k.  

A  ready to go two bedroom property in this area to buy is around £165000. A fixer upper around £135000. 

It’s just my personal view but I think it’s wholly unreasonable to expect someone to contribute towards things like a new en suite and walk away without a penny from the property. It’s certainly not something I’d ever do to someone. 

It depends what you mean by a fixer upper. Cosmetic work shouldn’t account for a price difference of £30,000. It doesn’t sound like you can afford to buy either anyway which is why I suggested moving into rental. The relationship is over and you are both unhappy living under the same roof. It’s time to strike out on your own so you can start being happy again. 

MFWannabe

Okay I would say you have three options: 
1) You continue to live where you are (if agreeable by ex) for another 6 months and save as much as you can and hopefully get your promotion in that time 
2) Move out and rent somewhere for 6-12 months until promotion comes or you get a higher paid job and are able to buy 
3) Ask ex if he would consider helping you to move out with approx 10K to enable you to purchase somewhere for you and his child to live so you can both get own with your lives as you are both so unhappy with current situation, I would sit him down and just explain what you are trying to do; that you want to stay near for the sake of child etc. Would this be a better option for him than option 1? Hopefully this wouldn’t result in argument but only you know the situation x 

J1one

Thank you all so much for your contributions. I’ve struggled to have people to talk it through with, so this means a lot.