Lending money to friends

martyn0284

I've been out of work for the last 4 months due to having a serious car accident and breaking my back. I still have my job as I am self employed, but other than a little financial help from family I have absolutely no income. Anyway, I have a friend that wanted to borrow some money from me (just shy of £300), and because I have had so much help from friends and family whilst in this situation, I gave it to them.

Now, this was a couple of weeks ago, and was told I would get it back a week later. Unfortunately I keep being fobbed off and told 'tonight', 'tomorrow' etc etc. They ignore all my phone calls but reply on WhatsApp, but as previously mentioned, I get fobbed off. I was stressed enough before this situation, but this is making it worse. I have my Tax bill due on Monday (31st January), I'm currently in debt with my energy supplier, getting charged fees on my overdraft and obviously have other bills to pay. To make matters worse, I have had my licence revoked due to the accident as I was unconscious due to a suspected seizure (I'm a driver so that's screwed me, but luckily I have a couple of lads working for me, so that helps). I even went round his house but he wasn't in.

I don't want to tell my family about the situation as they won't be happy, especially as I'm short on money myself. I really wish I never did it now.

What do you guys think is the best course of action?

Thanks in advance

maisie_cat

Having been there, done that, I would say that £300 is a small price to discover that somebody is not a friend.

martyn0284

The problem is, to me right now it's a lot of money.

_Penny_Dreadful

You’ve just learnt the hard way to never lend more than you can afford to lose. 

You could send your friend a letter before action giving them a week to repay you the £300. Then if they still fail to pay you can file a money claim online which will cost you £35. You could win in court but if they don’t have the money they don’t have it. You can’t get blood out of a stone. 

This person might not be ghosting you out of badness but sheer embarrassment that they’ve borrowed money from a friend and have no way of repaying it. 

Claddagh_Noir

I am sorry you have gone through this.  I am echoing what the previous posters have said, never lend money that you cannot afford to lose.  It is just a shame that you have have to lose that amount of money to show the quality of friend. 

May I ask, has this specific friend lent you money in the past? I am asking because of what you said about friends and family helping you out. 

pinkshoes

martyn0284 said:

I've been out of work for the last 4 months due to having a serious car accident and breaking my back. I still have my job as I am self employed, but other than a little financial help from family I have absolutely no income. Anyway, I have a friend that wanted to borrow some money from me (just shy of £300), and because I have had so much help from friends and family whilst in this situation, I gave it to them.

Now, this was a couple of weeks ago, and was told I would get it back a week later. Unfortunately I keep being fobbed off and told 'tonight', 'tomorrow' etc etc. They ignore all my phone calls but reply on WhatsApp, but as previously mentioned, I get fobbed off. I was stressed enough before this situation, but this is making it worse. I have my Tax bill due on Monday (31st January), I'm currently in debt with my energy supplier, getting charged fees on my overdraft and obviously have other bills to pay. To make matters worse, I have had my licence revoked due to the accident as I was unconscious due to a suspected seizure (I'm a driver so that's screwed me, but luckily I have a couple of lads working for me, so that helps). I even went round his house but he wasn't in.

I don't want to tell my family about the situation as they won't be happy, especially as I'm short on money myself. I really wish I never did it now.

What do you guys think is the best course of action?

Thanks in advance

This is the point that you question whether this person is actually a friend, because friends don't ignore calls, and friends who can't pay back borrowed money would be talking it through and discussing a way to pay it back. 

I would send them a WhatsApp message saying quite bluntly that you have nearly run out of money, and you NEED the £300 back by next Sunday. Tuesday is pay day for a lot of people. It might be then worth mentioning that if the money isn't paid back, you will unfortunately have to take further steps to get the money repair.

sammyjammy

Have you looked at any benefits you can claim, try www.entitledto.com

martyn0284

Claddagh_Noir said:

I am sorry you have gone through this.  I am echoing what the previous posters have said, never lend money that you cannot afford to lose.  It is just a shame that you have have to lose that amount of money to show the quality of friend. 

May I ask, has this specific friend lent you money in the past? I am asking because of what you said about friends and family helping you out. 

No, they have never lent me money. The friends and family part, it was my mum that's helped us financially and my friends have been there for support etc, but no financial gain from them

martyn0284

sammyjammy said:

Have you looked at any benefits you can claim, try www.entitledto.com

I will look into that, thank you

martyn0284

pinkshoes said:

martyn0284 said:

I've been out of work for the last 4 months due to having a serious car accident and breaking my back. I still have my job as I am self employed, but other than a little financial help from family I have absolutely no income. Anyway, I have a friend that wanted to borrow some money from me (just shy of £300), and because I have had so much help from friends and family whilst in this situation, I gave it to them.

Now, this was a couple of weeks ago, and was told I would get it back a week later. Unfortunately I keep being fobbed off and told 'tonight', 'tomorrow' etc etc. They ignore all my phone calls but reply on WhatsApp, but as previously mentioned, I get fobbed off. I was stressed enough before this situation, but this is making it worse. I have my Tax bill due on Monday (31st January), I'm currently in debt with my energy supplier, getting charged fees on my overdraft and obviously have other bills to pay. To make matters worse, I have had my licence revoked due to the accident as I was unconscious due to a suspected seizure (I'm a driver so that's screwed me, but luckily I have a couple of lads working for me, so that helps). I even went round his house but he wasn't in.

I don't want to tell my family about the situation as they won't be happy, especially as I'm short on money myself. I really wish I never did it now.

What do you guys think is the best course of action?

Thanks in advance

This is the point that you question whether this person is actually a friend, because friends don't ignore calls, and friends who can't pay back borrowed money would be talking it through and discussing a way to pay it back. 

I would send them a WhatsApp message saying quite bluntly that you have nearly run out of money, and you NEED the £300 back by next Sunday. Tuesday is pay day for a lot of people. It might be then worth mentioning that if the money isn't paid back, you will unfortunately have to take further steps to get the money repair.

I've tried that on more than one occasion, but to no avail unfortunately 

doodling

Hi,

This may or may not work and a lot depends on the attitudes of the people involved and how good a friend they are, but do you have any friends in common with the friend who you lent money to?

If you do then I would be tempted to try to borrow a small amount (something you know you will be able to pay back - e.g. £10 for lunch, or a pint, or whatever) from one of the friends in common, with the excuse being that the friend that borrowed the money hasn't paid it back and you now have no cash at all.  Make sure you pay them back next time you see them.

When it is just between the two of you it is easy for someone to ignore you, when his friends know that he has taken money from someone who can't work and he wont pay it back, it is harder for him to ignore.  Hopefully peer pressure will work in your favour.

If you call it wrong you can lose more friends (or get your money back wrapped round a brick through your window) so think carefully...