Relationship Breakdown

elsien

David487 said:

And it's only become noticeable that she's rubbish with money since I moved out, as when we lived together we kept a rein on spending, whereas since she's missed council tax payments, has taken out credit card after credit card, got a bigger car on PCP and so forth. We're very much different, I abhor debt, yet she doesn't care as, in her own words, what can they do.... But they can do lots, although I think she's extremely daft.

It’s only worth trying to chase someone for money if they have a surplus to give you. You’ve paid for things she can’t afford for herself, she has council tax debt, she has credit card debt, she has debt on her car. How far do you think you’re likely to get?

MikeJXE

It seems to me an 82 year old was married for 50 years you think more of her even now than you are letting on

Perhaps a get together and a constructive discussion to clear the air.

Find out what she wants and what you want and take it from there.

diystarter7

Hi OP
Terribly sorry to hear about that.
There is no easy answer unless you chose to make
it easy for yourself, IE, learn from this and let it go.
From what you said, if you wish take some of the furniture back that is not fitted if you wish
and move on

Take her to court, you may win, what will she pay you with?

Your choice but hopefully you posting about it getting out of your head has helped.

No one likes to be taken for a ride but at times, fro ones own health, move on

Thanks

mikejassss

I hope that you can get your furniture and belongings back (possibly won't be straightforward) and draw a line under it.

My advice, learn the lesson and move on. Life's too short for this to drag you down. Good luck for the future.  

David487

MikeJXE said:

It seems to me an 82 year old was married for 50 years you think more of her even now than you are letting on

Perhaps a get together and a constructive discussion to clear the air.

Find out what she wants and what you want and take it from there.

I still have a lot of feelings for her, but unfortunately I don't think she feels the same for me any longer, for a number of reasons. However, I don't think I could go back to live with her, but if we could see each other and rebuild things, I'm all for that.

My current plan is to buy my own property, reclaim all of the non-fixed items of furniture and my clothes and then see how things go. Being selfish, all I want is stability for me, as this has been affecting my mental health, of which I already have some issues.

I don't want to be, and won't be a .... to het, she doesn't deserve it, even if she's done things that have done things that have hurt and caused me stress, but I'm not stupid enough to say it's all her, of course it isn't, I own my part in teh relationship problems we have had, and am trying my best to make daily amends.

Gavin83

You've built up a beneficial interest in the property if you can prove you've contributed to it, both as home improvements and payments on the mortgage. How much of an advantage that is will depend on how much house prices changed in the time you were living there but given what was happening with house prices 2021 to early 2022 the increase could be significant.

I disagree with the majority, I think this is at least worth investigating. I also disagree with those saying it's not worth it as she won't be able to pay. She has at least one significant asset to contribute towards this, the house itself. You don't have to force a sale, you could put a charge on the property but given how bad she is with money I wouldn't be surprised if it's repossessed at some point in the future anyway.

Ultimately what you do is your choice but I think it's at least worth a conversation with a solicitor. And whatever you do don't give her more money even if she asks for it.