Zippy Up

sheramber

I got veg into my kids by making soup . Veg was  cut so small they didn't notice it.   Nowadays you can use a blender.

Spaghetti Bolognaise is good for hiding grated carrot in.

If she wants expensive berries then tell her to buy it herself.

She could take vitamins if she felt anything was lacking.

My DIL never ate fruit or veg from being a baby  and now will only eat a few peas or carrots .  She is now in her 40's.

mikejassss

You can borrow money for them and return it to you after they find a job.

Pollycat

mikejassss said:

You can borrow money for them and return it to you after they find a job.

Why would the OP borrow money to give to their children when he/she is paying for everything anyway?

pickledonionspaceraider

PoGee said:

My adult kids still live at home. They're aged mid - late 20s. Nominal board paid, which I put in accounts in their names. So I pay for everything; I get frowned upon if I dare say  cut the heating down, if the food selection isn't up to their standard...they want ready meals and pizzas etc.
I've found that they, one by one, seem to be annoyed at me for some reason. Turns out they clype on me. As an example - when one was meant to go to the cinema with male mates, I told child 2. Child 2 asks if I'm ok with it. I said 'yes, but would also be nice if child 1 takes up my invitation to go to cinema once in a while'. 
Child 2 tells child 1 about the cinema thing and I get the grumpy behaviour. They tell each other the slightest of things that I say about the other. I'm keeping my mouth zipped from now on. 

To play devils advocate - the subtext to the cinema conversation is guilt and neediness

'OK so I know my child has friends, but what about me?'  This throws a large tablespoon of projected guilt in to their day out

I do not mean that to sound harsh, as I am sure you didn't mean it to come across this way - but there is a subtext there.

Just relax.  Your kids aren't your entertainment section - dont rely on them to be your entertainment. Do things on your own

With the other points you mention - it does not sound like it is working out or a healthy agreement for ANY of you

1 - They aren't paying a realistic amount of board
2 - The nominal amount they do pay, you save it for them, so you are paying for everything
3- They have their own way with everything / food choices

This is obviously all very wearing for you and I cannot see how you can toughen up overnight as you have let them rule the roost - this is what is happening - you are letting them rule the roost, from how your money is spent, to how you feel.

I would either sort the above three points out, or tell them they need to find somewhere else to live.  They are ADULTS and it is time they started acting like them.  Toughen up, or you will never have a life of your own

Racky_Roo

I don't think you're helping the adult children by not charging them a reasonable amount of rent. They will either A, never want to move out as they will have to give up all the luxuries they are taking for granted or B, move out but be borrowing off you all the time as they have never understood the true cost of living. Charge them at least what it costs to rent a room in a shared house each, they'd still be better off as that would include bills but at least it's helping them understand real life. Put it in a savings account if you want, but please don't think not charging them something close to market rate is helpful as it really isn't. 

[Deleted User]

You need to start setting their expectations so they become responsible adults. 

You would not always be there to bail them out.

Start making small changes to get them making some contributions.