Evict 18 year old stepson

Marvel1

Report to the Police and press charges.

sheramber

Who owns the house. is on the tenancy agreement?

If you own it solely or are the named tenant you may have be able to do something but if jointly owned. tenanted then your wife has as much right as you  to say who lives there.

Doozergirl

I think you'd benefit from some counselling, either alone, as a couple or as a family, but I think probably alone to start off with, so you can make a longer term plan for yourself.  

Where are you intending to live long term if you've split up?  

Of course it isn't acceptable to attack you but I can also see mum's side that children, even 18 year old children, aren't for discarding.  We sign up for the long run and kids are sent to try us, especially teenage ones.   It's tough to survive out there, especially alone, at the moment.  I couldn't expect my nearly 18 year old to financially support herself just yet.  

Your relationships need work. Nothing wrong with calling the police if you feel that they are a genuine threat to you though!  

I can see lots of people getting excited about the weed smoking, but the kid is 18, it's not exactly the most unusual hobby for anyone anymore, let alone an 18 year old.  It's everywhere; we should be beyond pearl-clutching.  Not to say it's not incredibly annoying for non-smokers and stinks to high heaven, but when it comes to choosing your battles, weed doesn't make people aggressive, you seem to have a bigger battle in the general state of your relationship with your wife and stepson.  

I'm not saying that you're wrong in anyway at all, just asking you to take a step back and see if there's anything else that could be done to improve the situation by seeking help from outside. There's always three sides to a story - yours, theirs and the truth 😉.  

Sometimes it helps to talk out loud to someone neutral rather than arguing or living  with your thoughts swirling around.  It helps to articulate your thoughts, know what your best reaction can be but also plan for your future.  

If you're insisting on him moving out, you're also insisting on the end of your marriage by the sound of it.  Mum sounds like she's in a terrible predicament too and your stepson is clearly unhappy.  We can't really control our kids, but I definitely see it as my responsibility to help them wherever we can whilst keeping our own safety at the forefront.  

deannagone

I did have problems with my own autistic son hitting out at me a couple of time.  Because I have a younger son, it was recommended I phone an official domestic violence helpline.  Because of that a safety report was done (social services), where I was accused of all sorts of things as if I was the perpetrator or neglecting both my sons needs.  It increased stress in the household. No one was offered help nor support. There was absolutely nothing positive about the process. Wouldn't do it again.

I did resolve the problems with my son with some relationship building.  No support with that.  No one cared if my older son was left on the streets, which he would have been.  It hasn't happened since. We do talk with each other more, and resolve difficulties before they happen.  I had to learn to listen rather than talk (and not come straight out with telling him what to do.)

Figure out what the triggers are, try and sort out whatever problems there are between you and your step son.  Reporting it to the Police/social services won't result in support, it will just result in the stepson having no where to live, with no support.

Yes legally he is an adult but emotionally?  Being a step son and step father can be complicated..., you don't have the bond with him or the knowledge of him/the history your wife does.  I would suggest a lot of listening is needed if you can get him to talk.  No emotional accusations, initially don't raise the violence, just find out about him, where he is and let the conversation go where it will at first.  I am sure, if he is comfortable enough to be able to tolerate being vulnerable, you will be able to resolve this.  You are obviously the adult in this and may need to be the hero.  That doesn't mean the violence is in any way acceptable, but starting off with that will make a resolution less likely. He needs to be able to recognise he was in the wrong, but I am afraid, you need to go in accepting that things could have been handled better by yourself too (believe you me, I've been there lol).If I'd have understood where he was emotionally, things would not have gone downhill, I'd have adopted a different approach.

Who knows, divorce may not need to be on the cards if you can build a relationship with your stepson.  I should imagine trust is at an all time low between all of you.  But it can be rebuilt.

propertyrental

Relationship has broken down.
The sooner you divorce, the sooner you will arrive at a financial settlement that will include the property which may have to be sold.
And that will also mean settling the personal issues.

sheramber

A work colleague had a wayward stepson, although no violence or drugs involved.

He accepted he could do nothing but eventually, one day,  his wife had had enough. She packed  the son's belongings and piled them in the kitchen.

When he came home she told him to get out.

He was shocked.
He  went to stay with a friend but it was the making of the son who mended his ways.

macman

If your stepson lives in the same property as you and your wife, then he is not a tenant, therefore no 'eviction' is necessary. If he is paying rent, then he is a lodger. If not, he is merely a guest, and you can ask him to leave, with minimal notice. Maybe 14 days?
If he does not leave, you can use reasonable force to remove him, or call the police to remove him.
You do not have to give a reason, and his criminal activities are not relevant.
The possible issue here is if your wife does not agree to his removal.

trevormax

[Deleted User] said:

trevormax said:

[Deleted User] said:

Your stepson will not recieve a criminal record should you involve police, an option you should explore further. Involving police  may prove to be an opportunity for him to get support and you. Contact a charity for advice. Obviously, we do not have all the facts, family relationships can be complicated. You may be a vulnerable person, and clearly you are falling victim to repeated assaults by an adult in your own home. 

If OP reports that his step-son has assaulted him, police will deal with the matter as a crime, and the step-son will have a criminal record. 

Police must consider a referral to a multi agency panel to support OP and keep OP safe if the risk is seemed to be severe. 
A public protection report, multi agency report, or whatever the OP's local force may name it, is completed in all domestic violence incidents/crimes regardless of how severe or minor the incident/crime. This is a positive action the police are required to take when attending any domestic incident. 

Now, there may be police attendance, arrest and records kept in police reports. Ultimately though, if OP does not support prosecution, I can tell you that the possibility of a victimless prosection is very unlikely.
Correct. The OP can waste police time by reporting this incident and multiple incidents and then refuse to provide a statement or assist in the investigation, resulting in no criminal record for the step-son. However, I was assuming that if the OP were to call police, the OP would follow through and provide a statement of complaint, therefore your post stating that contacting police wont result in a criminal record would be wrong. 

OP, I hope you are able to sort this matter out. I personally would think long and hard before calling police, especially if you are not prepared to go the distance and support a complaint about the step-son assaulting you and go to court. I would advise against using the police as a weapon to hurt the step-son by calling police and then dropping your complaint later after the step-son has been arrested. Such a thing is a huge waste of police time, and blocks police resources from attending other crimes. 

m0bov

Ops not been active on site. Doubt we will hear any more.

I think there is more to the story.