Giving Up/Cutting Down Alcohol Thread part 18

alt80

I've been struggling with things on and off. Been working and doing jobs round the house to avoid my own thoughts. I wasn't well at all last week which was difficult and inevitably lead to me having that time to think. I know why I do anything I can to avoid the thoughts, putting it bluntly I have a lot of remorse for my past behaviour and what I put my family through when I was using and spending money constantly. Recovery hasn't been (and isn't) easy for me but it is a road I'm glad I have taken. Whilst alcohol alone hasn’t been a real issue for me I am glad I’ve cut it down to being very occasional under quite strict conditions (self imposed). I ended September with a full month AF and so far this month I haven't had a drink either. Will break it this month, my wife and I are renewing our vows in Greece so I’m looking forward to a glass of champagne and the wine pairings my dad has picked for our meal however that’ll be it for me. My wife and parents are aware of this, keep me accountable.

@Season_of_Mist Congratulations on 6 months AF!

Season_of_Mist

Thank you alt80 and to others who have kindly commented. I’m actually not quite at 6 months, that will fall this weekend, but I can’t honestly see me slipping up now; it’s not as though it is a constant struggle not to drink, where I’m having to keep warding off temptation daily, I just genuinely no longer feel the same sort of need to open a bottle or a can of something that I used to. 

I have tried hard to change my mindset and I’ve typed it out on here a few times, by telling myself that not drinking can become a habit too. Where is it written down anywhere that I have to be drinking, just because it’s Friday night and it’s the end of a long week? Or a Saturday when I’m seeing friends? Why can’t I become someone who basically doesn’t drink - at all - unless it’s very occasional and of my choosing, rather than because habit tells me that’s what I should be doing. 

Those intrusive thoughts can be very powerful and difficult to deal with alt80 and it is a strong temptation to make them go away (temporarily) with alcohol. You clearly recognise that and have a great insight to how these thoughts can lead to unhealthy choices. Congratulations on your own month and a half AF, it’s great to read how in control of things you sound. Totally get why you have been keeping busy with jobs around the house. When I was younger I remember looking at people I knew who were a bit older and thinking, why are they always doing something, always on the go, never seem to slow down for 5 minutes? Then one of those people said something like, “If the hands are busy, then the mind isn’t”. 

Didn’t mean much to me at the time but I think I get it now. 

sukeyboo

Well done @Season_of_Mist on your upcoming 6 months AF and also to @alt80 for going over a month AF too 👏👏👏.

Forgot to post yesterday but was AF and will be today so that takes me to 6/10 please cathybird 

maman

Thanks for posting @alt80. Please try to stop beating yourself up about the past. You can't change that but you can have a good future. Renewing your vows sounds like an excellent way to draw the line and move on. 🤗

5/10 AFDs please@cathybird 

dustydigger

9/25 please cathybird.

Busy week this week. I have a covid jab on Wednesday. Should have had a flu jab last Friday,but all the buses were on strike,I had to cancel.

Friday AT LAST wiIl have an appointment at the Eye Infirmary,checkup and quite possibly my op,as they are really trying to cut down waiting lists by any means. No info on the letter,but I will go hoping for the op same day. A bag of fluid has grown up where I had the cataract removed in 2012,that eye is now almost useless. If I shut my other eye I literally cant read a single word on my computer screen,its like frosted glass preventing me reading at all.I am seeing only with my very poor badly myopic right eye.  Here's hoping it all gets sorted. Its an easy 10 minute op,drilling a little hole so the fluid drains out. Fingers crossed it all goes well. Hmm,with my luck who knows!

RobM99

Hi all, been a bit lax checking in but worry not!  10/30 for today. Our tour manager/logistics manager/singer has gone to New York early (long story and too personal for here). All systems "GO!" otherwise!

satchmo1

6/15 for me today please. 

Wanna_Bee_Free

3/14 for me today please Cathybird.

alt80

@Season_of_Mist Thank you and I think you're 100% right about habits and not drinking can also become one, it has for me - as a default I now don't drink which I'm fortunate to have a choice over. I know too well how easy it can be to reach for temporary relief from our thoughts and emotions and only have the insight due to significant amounts of therapy which really hasn't solved everything.

@sukeyboo thank you!

@maman thank you, I think we're all a work in progress in some way or another. Try to do right by my family now.

@dustydigger hope all works out for your eye op. 

lantanna

6/15 please