Advice for Twins

Pollycat

User36750 said:

Pollycat said:

User36750 said:

We may be expecting twins.
Still very early days but through IVF (well, ICSI) and early scans, it's showing two babies.

We already have one toddler so have a lot of stuff (like clothes) and it's in our mind to have a tandem pram rather than side by side for ease of access.
However is there a car out there, that isn't ugly or a people carrier, that can take three car seats in the back?

Anything else we should be thinking about?

I catch buses a lot and there's a young Mum with a side-by-side pushchair.
It can barely fit on the bus (too wide), she always looks stressed when getting on.

Yeah, hence we're looking at a tandem one (one in front of the other) - NOT side by side.

Yes, I got that from your initial post where you said "it's in our mind...".
NOT a "we are definitely having..."

I was just agreeing with you by giving you an anecdote about the difficulties of manoeuvering a side-by-side pushchair in certain circumstances.

lika_86

Names - one will obviously be 'the older twin' so I read somewhere that you should consider giving the second born the name that comes first in the alphabet, so they aren't always just the second twin but appear first on the school register etc.

Misslayed

A multiple birth makes you eligible for a one off £500 Sure Start grant, you need to apply within three months of their birth. 

https://www.gov.uk/sure-start-maternity-grant/what-youll-get

Malthusian

lika_86 said:

Names - one will obviously be 'the older twin' so I read somewhere that you should consider giving the second born the name that comes first in the alphabet, so they aren't always just the second twin but appear first on the school register etc.

The twin with the first name alphabetically is always going to be the first twin. Nobody ever knows who is the "older" twin unless the mother or someone else present at the birth tells them. School registers and other databases only record date of birth, not time of birth (with the exception of birth certificates / hospital records?), so the only time two twins would be sorted by order of birth is if the labour straddled midnight and they had different birthdays. 
If you really want them to share being the "first twin", you need to give them names like Deirdre and Elizabeth, and then put Elizabeth down as "Beth" on random occasions. (But the only time they'll actually be aware of which order they are in is when the school register is being called out, so even this is a very silly idea.)
*edit* Another idea - there is usually a dominant twin, so call them both "Baby" for say a year (you don't have to put a name on a birth certificate), then, once they're old enough to wrestle with each other over toys, give the subordinate one the first name alphabetically as compensation.

lika_86

Malthusian said:

lika_86 said:

Names - one will obviously be 'the older twin' so I read somewhere that you should consider giving the second born the name that comes first in the alphabet, so they aren't always just the second twin but appear first on the school register etc.

The twin with the first name alphabetically is always going to be the first twin. Nobody ever knows who is the "older" twin unless the mother or someone else present at the birth tells them. School registers and other databases only record date of birth, not time of birth (with the exception of birth certificates / hospital records?), so the only time two twins would be sorted by order of birth is if the labour straddled midnight and they had different birthdays. 
If you really want them to share being the "first twin", you need to give them names like Deirdre and Elizabeth, and then put Elizabeth down as "Beth" on random occasions. (But the only time they'll actually be aware of which order they are in is when the school register is being called out, so even this is a very silly idea.)
*edit* Another idea - there is usually a dominant twin, so call them both "Baby" for say a year (you don't have to put a name on a birth certificate), then, once they're old enough to wrestle with each other over toys, give the subordinate one the first name alphabetically as compensation.

I'm aware that they're not registered under that at school or anything else but at some point they're old enough to ask and know who is older.

Savvy_Sue

lika_86 said:

I'm aware that they're not registered under that at school or anything else but at some point they're old enough to ask and know who is older.

Indeed, every set of twins I've ever known has been VERY aware of which of them is the oldest! 

I guess this falls under the 'anything else' to think about, and the names is possibly more taxing than with singletons. When I'm naming all three boys (or any subset), I tend to do so in age order. When I'm naming them as couples, I tend to go son + partner - and that's what I do with most couples, although my sisters are usually sister + husband. 

So you might want to think about a pair of names which you feel works either way: I can't imagine saying Clyde and Bonnie, Ginger and Fred, Ollie and Stan, John and Janet, Ben and Bill - although I'm possibly showing my age here. I can, mind you, refer to Patsy and Eddie / Eddie and Patsy interchangeably. 

Spendless

Savvy_Sue said:

lika_86 said:

I'm aware that they're not registered under that at school or anything else but at some point they're old enough to ask and know who is older.

Indeed, every set of twins I've ever known has been VERY aware of which of them is the oldest! 



So you might want to think about a pair of names which you feel works either way: I can't imagine saying Clyde and Bonnie, Ginger and Fred, Ollie and Stan, John and Janet, Ben and Bill - although I'm possibly showing my age here. I can, mind you, refer to Patsy and Eddie / Eddie and Patsy interchangeably. 

Even that's subjective. My sister with girl/boy twins. My Niece is older by 3 minutes and also has a name that is before her brother's in the alphabet. Sister would invariably sign cards with Nephews name first. I with singletons also name mine in birth order, so I queried with sis why she did this. She said they flowed better that way, I disagree Nieces name doesn't flow as well after the word 'and' but also as the male she thought he'd be put first on a card. I don't do this either. We're not from a culture that promotes boys ahead of girls and we don't have a brother either. 

Malthusian

lika_86 said:

I'm aware that they're not registered under that at school or anything else but at some point they're old enough to ask and know who is older.

If you're concerned enough about the psychological effect of being the "younger" twin to change your preferred names, just tell them both they're the older one.
If they ever compare notes (are kids old enough to understand the process of their own childbirth, and therefore reject "you were born at the same time" as an answer, likely to go "ner ner I'm the older one" at each other?), tell them you were high as a kite and have no idea. Problem solved.
When signing cards / present tags for the family I went "Malthusian, Tom, Harriet and !!!!!!" for a couple of years, but I now go "Malthusian, !!!!!!, Tom and Harriet". !!!!!! has been promoted because Harriet and Tom are cats. Until this Christmas they went in descending age order, but once !!!!!! started walking and talking it felt more natural to put the two humans first. Subjectivity is fun. (*edit* As are profanity filters.)

eileenfromplaistow

My niece has twin boys. They lease a 7 seater citroen. And a lot of eqipment is traded on a local facebook group for multiple births.