2023 DECLUTTERING CAMPAIGN Mrs SD

Florenceem

My cordless Shark revived after a rest.
SA Officers took me to and from the hospital today. Mr F was much better - sitting in the chair with bright eyes - his eyes had been dull and as though the spark was gone. He signed the typed sheets of authorisation. Then the LPOA was signed and witnessed. I am going to get a copy tomorrow in case it gets lost in the post. I need to find his DWP letter about his pension to claim a reduction on the fee. Mr F told me not to visit tomorrow as he knows that I will be busy getting ready for the table sale. He has started to read - I brought home all that he had finished with. I will ask a neighbour who works at the hospital to drop a bag of reading matter in to him.
The officer pushed my heavy bin up my drive for me.
I am locking up at SA tonight.

Fizz2015

@Florenceem that is really positive about Mr F. You have my admiration for how much you are dealing with, sorting all the admin and decluttering. 
It reminds me that OH and I need to get paperwork and things sorted. We have been together over 8 years but no will or passwords etc written down. Whenever we discuss it ends in a debate as his ex walked away with an awful lot. I am nothing like her and completely different with finances but still touches a nerve. Work in progress and baby steps. I will start will collating our passwords and double checking both our names are on the accounts. 
I have nearly decluttered the ironing pile today. I have cheated and chucked a few dresses back in the wash as we're too creased and life is too short! 
Feeling apprehensive about work today, but one of my close friends is in the office so I have moral support. 

daisy_1571

gettingthrifty said:

 . But now i need to get serious and im faced with fear!! Im in absoloute awe of you Mrs F doing this when your circumstances are so difficult.
 I am constantly thinking about my progress ( slow) and know i need to bite the bullet. For me i have to be honest with myself trying to sell stuff will just delay the progress. So donating will be the way to go. I  have a local hospice that has local shops and a warehouse that i will send it to, so how do i get over the intense fear? Am i a hoarder? I feel like im standing on a cliff edge ready to jump. Sorry to sound dramatic .
I see mentioned by OPs that no one has regrets about the loss of anything they have let go. I have just turned a huge chapter in my life and will be dealing with a lot of things that will create raw emotion. But i know the one bonus is ,once i start filling bags, my DH will too without being asked !
If i ask for help he will immediatly because hes always hated me hanging onto things but has been incredibly tolerant and supportive as he knows why i needed to . But a new chapter now.
Would be interested to hear if others have this fear/ worry and how you manage it please.
Many thanks x

getting thrifty- I've read your post a few times now.  Heres somethings that may help or not.  Feel free to ignore or take the tiniest tip from.  And don't feel you have to respond- this is purely for you and your thoughts.  Apologies for long post.

One thing I see is: you are constantly thinking about your progress.   Maybe you feel that this thread (helpful and supportive tho it absolutely is) somehow makes you feel pressure to live up to a 'standard' or 'level' or something?   Can't get my thought properly into words sorry.  Perhaps you could do the old pen and paper thing where its just you and your thoughts.  Why do you want to follow this journey?  Is your home genuinely cluttered?  To the point of health hazard?  To the point of difficulty moving around?  To the point of difficulty hoovering?  Tidy on surface but stuff in drawers/cupboards?  Less than that?  Be honest - on paper, not here.

It also seems like you are getting anxious about family clearing your house in future.   Yes, thats good to consider. You can see the difficulty others around you are having.   Can I be very very blunt please?  They are all having difficulties simply because they are still very much alive and with us.  Should the worst happen and any one of us is no longer here, our troubles are over.  Yes its great you are trying to think ahead but you've still got to live in the here and now.  I'm sure your family wouldn't like to think you are having such difficulties right now trying to save them difficulty in the future.  And, again bluntly, its always easier clearing other people's stuff as with the vast majority you can assess it for worth: financial, practical, sentimental etc and discard, sell, keep or donate as appropriate.  With our own belongings theres a whole other level, sometimes several layers, it was a present,  it cost me money,  it was a good time, it was a bad time, I've always liked it, one day I might... etc etc.

Perhaps decide you are giving yourself the rest of this month - no decluttering, no tidying, no thinking about it.   Go out a walk with your pen and paper, or sit in the garden or front step.   Think about your fears.  What actually is it you fear? No longer having any one particular item you may miss looking at or using because you got rid of it in error or you changed your mind?  Do your belongings physically protect you from something..outside world, emotions, circumstances?  Is it purely practical and you worry you might need something you won't be able to afford to re-buy?  Is it fear of 'waste' (remember the items are aging and degrading whether we use them or not)?  It seems like you can pass items along where you perceive someone's need is greater than yours so its clearly not impossible for things to leave your house without it distressing you.  (That maybe suggests not a hoarder but im no expert.)  I think I'm suggesting you peer over that cliff edge but by imposing a ban on action it should feel 'safe' for you to do that.   

If you've had a major life change it possibly isn't the best time to start decluttering.  Maybe since your dh understands the background its ok to leave it a while longer?  If you have to do something, then the only practical solution I can think is first allocate a room or cupboard or shed or somewhere as The Holding Zone.  Clear it out, keeping everything (after all, its all already in your space so not too much problem to continue to store it for now) but get that area completely empty.  Then start your chosen method, do the start anywhere or Marie kondo like with like or whichever method you fancy.  The things you definately want to keep, put properly in their space.  The things you think are surplus or you might not want, put them in The Holding Zone.  You have that space, and that space only, to put the items you might not want.  If you keep to that space you will know where they are.  Nothing can get lost or leave without your say so.  Box or bag them.  Label or list them.  Maybe sort them as you go - label boxes household, clothing, cleaning supplies, ornaments, paperwork, etc and pop things in as you go.  Date it on your list and what box it went in.  Make it as safe as possible to allow your mind to think about giving permission to let go.  Then if your fear is OK about them going, in a day, a week, a month, a year, whatever you decide, then it can go.  Even if you never get rid, when your family does the big clear out they will know what it all is.  It might be useful to yourself to see what categories you have a lot of or what categories you are gently considering moving along.

Give yourself some time to breathe and relax 

Hugs (if you want one)  daisy xx

Florenceem

Flipping alarm went off when I locked up at SA tonight. Raining hard here. Off to bed.

TC77

@Florenceem such good news about Mr F, and as everyone has said in awe of how you are not just coping, but doing so much more!
@gettingthrifty I'm in paralysis re decluttering at the moment, abit rabbit in the head lamps and lots of excuses why. Frustrated at DD2 for being in chaos and then look at myself. DD1 is beyond stressed, 3 weeks til she has to move and no flat...and not coping with uni,  Have new people starting at work next week and mid June so longer term will be easier. Going to my dad's and DB will be there and deciding what do to with stuff.  and of course I want lots of stuff just cos I grew up with it which is rubbish but feeling like that cos of other stuff going on. Edging frogs along and complained to court - waiting 3 years for hearing with ex , neighbour who we have boundary/water issue due to different levels wants to sell but is in US and has tenants but agreed fingers crossed to get surveyor to specify work and oversee. So lots of reasons to be knee deep in stuff
Just used up cold veg in frittata and start of a soup, moved more contacts to other email and despite deleting (and emptying bin) of around 500 emails still at 99% . If it was paper it would have been thrown out ages ago but as electronic just sits there. Frightening about of emails complaining about stuff.....utilities etc...Have ordered some stickers to encourage good habits (going into my second childhood) including decluttering.
Getting into the habit if someone calls (work and home) I save them as a contact so I know next time or can call them back which  I'm sure many people always do! Giving myself 10 since monday so 590.

Gettingthrifty and Fizz2015 I am confident that inspiration and motivation will come to me later this year with sorting my house and other stuff out. Being on this thread does help nudge things along and I'd be waist high not just knee high without it

Mrs_Salad_Dodger

1. Write a daily To Do list - only 3 tasks to include MMiM - do this before I go to bed

2. Commence ‘Operation Frog Tickling’ I have an acronym - I.R.I.S. being Identify, Research, Implement, Sign Off - 

3. Implement a new sleep/wake up regime - start going to bed earlier (target before 2:00 a.m.) get up earlier (target by 9:00 a.m.)

4. Deal with ‘Urgent’ daily mail immediately & the rest at the weekend

5. Don’t put it down, put it away

6. If I spot a mini task deal with it immediately e.g. refill olive oil pourer or salt cellar, stitch up a hole in a garment etc

7. Continue to keep kitchen clean & tidy - before going to bed

DH did the shopping which I packed away immediately when he got home. I had a 30 minute bath & washed hair. Hm cottage pie with spring greens for dinner. Made enough cottage pie mix for 2 more dinners for 3 people which is now bagged & in freezer. Spent 20 minutes killing ants in the kitchen 😖No idea where they are getting in  😔 something to sort out when we get home 😡 DH did the wu & I dried & put away. Bags packed for our trip & biking clothes laid out. Update on G - she was better today 🙂 It appears she overdid it yesterday 😔 The operation to stitch up the groin stent sites is going ahead tomorrow. 

1068 - 1072 Kitchen recycling, cardboard box, coffee tin, small glass jar, drinks cans - recycled 

1073 Kitchen detritus binned

QueenJess, sorry to hear that work is so manic 😔 Excellent news that you have sold 2 Lego sets already 👏 My internet rabbit hole is usually IMDB reviews 😉 Don’t you just love those mini moments of enlightenment - always leads to lots of things decluttered 😊 Good luck to your DH with his list 🍀 I am another one who is joining you in the ‘no regrets’ club although I have not decluttered any where near as much as you 😉

Siebrie, how exciting planning for a new kitchen 🤩 I was just wondering how many times your  husband visits his family each year? especially as you always send so much ‘stuff’ over to them 😊Yuck to the bin bags of clothes from your sister-in-law 🤢 Good luck with your frogs 🍀 Please, please don’t stress 🙏 You always manage to get so much done & always seems to me at least, with minimal input from your husband 😉 Sending lots of positive vibes that DD1 grows out of her ‘learned helplessness attitude’🤞I love your self awareness “The thing is, if I’m left to my own devices, even the difficult or nasty tasks have their place, and I will actually look forward to finishing them. If I get interrupted and do not start and finish on my own time schedule / energy flow, it becomes a chore” 

gettingthrifty, I am sending you lots of hugs 🤗 I won’t add anything as I see that Soontobeoap, QueenJess, Siebrie & daisy_1571 have all offered some great thoughts, ideas & wisdom 😊 Hopefully something will strike a chord or appeal to you 🤞and you will feel inspired to continue your decluttering journey with a renewed sense of optimism 😊

Thank you Soontobeoap, QueenJess, Siebrie & daisy_1571 for sharing your thought & ideas 👏

Concentration still eluding me, so I am off to bed 😉

MrsSD (a superwoman) 😇 🎖💐🤩🏅🦸🏅💐🏆 💐🍰🍾🌟⭐️🌟 💐🏅💐🏅💐💐💐🏅💐 ⭐️ ❤️🏅 

DH Awards: 🥇🏅⭐️💐🏅 perseverance medal 🎖️ 🥇 🏅🏅 

Decluttering Target 2023: 1067/2023

1p Savings Challenge Running Total: £74.70

Florenceem

Up and washing machine is on - off to do the ironing next.
Another good number for today - I am on a roll.
The decluttering is keeping me busy and I can already see results but a long way to go - I will NOT give up!

TC77

I watched the last of the sort your life out with Stacey  and need the team here. I def need at least 50% of things in my bedroom ( with another 15% to go back in office ( stuff on shelves so could lose another 50% ) there. 
Again for.me physical declutter will start in summer and autumn. 

Moorviews

I have been reading along and keeping people in my thoughts. Everyone is doing so well with getting on with things. Brilliant job on the kitchen cupboards @Mrs_Salad_Dodger 👏 @Dfw38 congratulations on your marathon achievement 🥳  @Florenceem - there seems to have been a positive shift which is good to read of. Well done for channeling your stress into going through things at home. Back here a corridor has been cleared of clutter, a dingy, dusty cupboard has been excavated and cleaned and weeding and mowing has commenced. Also, some clearing out of old dead plants and compost from the greenhouse. 

@gettingthrifty - you asked if anyone else feels the fear with decluttering. I did and I still do. I was surprised at how I could feel that way about what is basically a pile of inanimate objects, some of which is actual rubbish in many people’s eyes. In the past the clutter built up because I could see uses for things, they had sentimental value or I lacked time to go through things. Also, I didn’t have good enough habits or processes to prevent buildup and was more focused on storage. I did see the light and decided to make changes as I started to have some more time. Unfortunately then life became very stressful for various reasons and my mental health suffered which left me feeling quite fragile. So I was in the position of wanting to reduce the amount of stuff as it was causing me more anxiety to have too much, however, whenever I approached a task, I was gripped with further anxiety and a sense of failure too that I couldn’t do this simple thing. The house didn’t look massively untidy but if I opened any cupboard or drawer it would be absolutely rammed and it felt like opening Pandora’s Box too with all the emotions I was feeling. Some things also sat in the open because they had never had a home. 

I had to start with very small things like a single surface which I would clear and then keep clear and that would make me feel better because I could see it. I began with the kitchen table which gets dumped on all day. It still does but I move everything to where it needs to go throughout the day, which is often to the recycling bin or just putting away in the cupboard or drawer. So no difficult decisions to be made at all but a sense of accomplishment felt. Then the coffee table, a window sill and so on. I admit that I rammed those cupboards even harder to begin with, putting like with like just to start getting order into things. One day I was doing this and just felt I could take that leap and start to pull things out of the cupboard that I was trying to stuff and to sort things out. I just did one shelf and although I felt very anxious, I accepted that and did it anyway. It has carried on thus. Just small things, done in small chunks with everything tidied away after because I would struggle to have everything all over the place in disorder. This would overwhelm me, upset me and paralyse me. I don’t make a list as this would also overwhelm me. I just reassure myself that if I keep doing bits then I am going in the right direction. If I find a particular job too tough I do a different one that I can manage. I can struggle over decisions over small things but have learned that once they are gone, I don’t have to think about them anymore which is a huge relief to me. I’m practising not feeling guilty about my choices too, although this is a constant challenge. I don’t know if any of this will resonate with you but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone with feeling the fear. Good luck with everything 💕

GrannyKate

Up but not sorted for trip to DDs.  Packing mostly done but need to do a few jobs including washing up as Dishwasher not working.  Pleased with myself yesterday for sorting the repair appointment etc but then I got a` text with an appointment for one of the days I am still away despite making it clear on the phone.  Had to start again on phone with the press 1 for x etc routine.  New text with a different appointment.  Children back with Mum until next Thursday.  As she went out the door DGD4 observed that there were ants in her bedroom so I had to investigate that - sweets in there is the issue.  Ants are a nightmare here as sandy soil.  Not doing much decluttering as too much RL at the moment.

579-581 Three old t-shirts out - 1 for CS and 2 to bin
582 Repair appointment moved to Friday
583 Yet another phone charger cable in DS2's recycling bag

I may post while I am away but if not see you next week.