My Mortgage Free Mountain - A 7 year expedition to climb to the top

Baileys_Babe

I don't think you are a cow and I can understand your feelings 🤗

MatyMoo

You really are not a cow, it’s a lot of responsibility to take on. I do wonder who would step in as their safety net if you weren’t in a position to? There really are some horrible life interruptions where we all need a safety net & I know they are not always there. A friends teenager was going through cancer treatment & not actually expected to survive (by some miracle they did!) when the father was made redundant & asked for help. Nothing was available as they owned their own home, MacMillan stepped in to pay petrol money to enable them to visit her in hospital but they ended up in serious debt which took years to get out of 😢

craftingmad

Baileys_Babe said:

I don't think you are a cow and I can understand your feelings 🤗

MatyMoo said:

You really are not a cow, it’s a lot of responsibility to take on. I do wonder who would step in as their safety net if you weren’t in a position to? There really are some horrible life interruptions where we all need a safety net & I know they are not always there. A friends teenager was going through cancer treatment & not actually expected to survive (by some miracle they did!) when the father was made redundant & asked for help. Nothing was available as they owned their own home, MacMillan stepped in to pay petrol money to enable them to visit her in hospital but they ended up in serious debt which took years to get out of 😢

Thank you both so much. I still feel terrible about myself and know that they really need this safety net at the moment. It just makes me sad and very scared to know that none of the family would do the same thing for us if god forbid we ever needed it  

I think what hurts even more is that the rest of the family just expect us to do it so we are getting no thanks or support that we are ok as well. I totally get it is nothing like the pain of losing a child but it is going to be really hard financially for us for I'm not really sure how long whilst we are taking on their financial burdens too I feel very selfish but at the same time know that we are anything but when we are doing so much financially for them at the moment.

It is what it is though so I'm going to try extra hard to at least add a small amount into the OP savings pot each month for us so that we are helping ourselves as well. 

~FlowerPot~

craftingmad said:

Baileys_Babe said:

I don't think you are a cow and I can understand your feelings 🤗

MatyMoo said:

You really are not a cow, it’s a lot of responsibility to take on. I do wonder who would step in as their safety net if you weren’t in a position to? There really are some horrible life interruptions where we all need a safety net & I know they are not always there. A friends teenager was going through cancer treatment & not actually expected to survive (by some miracle they did!) when the father was made redundant & asked for help. Nothing was available as they owned their own home, MacMillan stepped in to pay petrol money to enable them to visit her in hospital but they ended up in serious debt which took years to get out of 😢

Thank you both so much. I still feel terrible about myself and know that they really need this safety net at the moment. It just makes me sad and very scared to know that none of the family would do the same thing for us if god forbid we ever needed it  

This is because 1, you can and 2, most importantly you care, you care a because you are a lovely person. I think we would all be thinking inside 'what if' I didnt give this money away. But you offered because you and your husband are truly lovely people. Please dont be so hard on your self.

~FlowerPot~

Wheres your list??

Your not you if you haven't got even a little list!!!!

craftingmad

I must learn to go with my gut feeling when it comes to getting orders. I just sensed that the lady who ordered £45 of jewellery display cards would complain and try and get her money back somehow and I was right. She has complained to me that she is not happy with the quality (although I know they are as good as they could be given the quality of her file and she was advised of this before she ordered) and wants a full refund  

Officially I don't have to refund because they are personalised with her logo but because I just don't need the hassle right now so I have said she can return every single card and I shall refund on receipt and inspection. I'm gutted as I could have really done with the order amount (not to mention the fact that I have had to pay for postage, packaging and the materials to make them and they cannot be resold so I'm out of pocket by around £20 )  I really need to give my bum a kick and get down to cracking on in our mortgage free journey as I am determined to at least add something into the OP pot whilst we are also having to cope with the financial burden of our families situation as well. I have a feeling that she done her craft fair at the weekend and didn't sell many earrings so she wants to get some money back but I may be wrong and hope I am and hope that she sold lots as she clearly now needs the money she spent for something else   

I really need to get my but into gear and start earning some cash to add into the OP savings pots so we can clear our first BTL mortgage asap. I know it will be nowhere near what we have been added in the previous months due to taking on family's financial burdens but for my own sanity I need to see the balances going down so I know I am not working for nothing to benefit us.  

However I am full of cold today and my headache is back so I'm going to be kind to myself, enjoy some time with our daughter and do what I can do without any pressure on myself. The bum kick can wait until tomorrow (which being the start of a new month seems appropriate)
 
So here is my (very short) list for today:-

1. Play on Mistplay - 2 points so far - hoping to get 50 today    
2. Check and see if I have been paid from Chippy and transfer into bank account to pay brother in laws rent - DONE. I'm playing a risky game but am using the money from the rental houses repairs account to pay for BIL's rent this month. If the worst comes to the worst I can transfer money from the savings back into it but at least this way I do not feel like I am working for nothing £809.97 transferred into OP savings account  
3. Check and see if Hubby's wages have been paid and move some into savings account - DONE transferred a very tentative £750 into the OP savings account from hubby's OT as allowed more in the account as a just in case and because Christmas is coming up. Hopefully we will have lots left at end of month and I can transfer more later  
4. Upload two new designs onto Craftsuprint to hopefully get some sales
5. Comment on In Search of Posts on Facebook to hopefully get some more orders
6. Advertise my business in 3 FB groups to improve my visibility and hopefully get some orders
7. Create a new item to sell
8. Check freepostcode lottery, win a dinner and freeemoji draws 
9. Complete surveys on Prime Opinions
10. Chip Shop Shift - DONE   

Baileys_Babe

The lack of thanks and acknowledgement from the wider family hurts. Even if they can not financially contribute they voice the mental as well as financial strain this puts your household under.
Is this arrangement for a defined period? or open-ended?

Jessy103

You are certainly not a cow in the slightest bit!! From reading your diary over the past few months, what you do for your kids, your OH, the nonsense you put up with from the chip shop owner, you are a lovely person and what you are doing now is an amazing thing to do, but you do have every a right to feel miffed about it if the wider family are just expecting you to do it because of the position you are in and aren't even going to try and help!

I'm not sure if you have said, so apologies if you have and feel free to not answer but may I ask why you are paying their mortgage? I know they have lost their daughter and that I cannot even begin to understand, but are they not getting any paid compassionate leave from work? Could they not speak to their mortgage company and take a mortgage break? Sorry, I don't mean it to sound nasty in any way, I'm just curious.x

craftingmad

Baileys_Babe said:

The lack of thanks and acknowledgement from the wider family hurts. Even if they can not financially contribute they voice the mental as well as financial strain this puts your household under.
Is this arrangement for a defined period? or open-ended?

Thank you. I think that is what hurts the most, that the other family members are not even acknowledging about how much we are sacrificing ourselves to help them financially and even just a thank you from them would currently mean so much as we are effectively having to put our dreams on hold  

I think what is making me feel worse is that my husband offered for our help for as long as it takes so I don't know how long it will be going on and although I totally get what they are going through is awful and I would not wish it on anyone, I know in the past they have taken the mickey a little bit so I fear it will be for a lot longer than it really should be but how and when can I say enough is enough

craftingmad

Jessy103 said:

You are certainly not a cow in the slightest bit!! From reading your diary over the past few months, what you do for your kids, your OH, the nonsense you put up with from the chip shop owner, you are a lovely person and what you are doing now is an amazing thing to do, but you do have every a right to feel miffed about it if the wider family are just expecting you to do it because of the position you are in and aren't even going to try and help!

I'm not sure if you have said, so apologies if you have and feel free to not answer but may I ask why you are paying their mortgage? I know they have lost their daughter and that I cannot even begin to understand, but are they not getting any paid compassionate leave from work? Could they not speak to their mortgage company and take a mortgage break? Sorry, I don't mean it to sound nasty in any way, I'm just curious.x

Thank you. 

I think we ended up paying their rent because it was all my husband felt he could do in the situation to make things even a little easier for them and when his brother asked there was no question in his mind that we would not do it as we wanted to do anything we could to help even a little bit. 
At the time we were all in a state of shock I think at losing our niece so our minds were not thinking clearly or about setting a practical time limit for how long we could do it for.

Both my brother and sister in law cannot currently work due to their injuries from the accident. My brother in law is self employed in the building trade so he does not qualify for sick pay as far as I am aware and my sister in law is in a lower paid factory job but I am sure will qualify for something and certainly some benefits I hope but at the moment we don't feel like we can question them on their financial situation given that our niece has not even been buried yet . 

When I try and talk to hubby about it all he just closes off and says that we would do the same for my family and it will take as long as it takes which I kind of understand but at the same time I am seeing our future plans just dissolving which is tearing me apart and again I feel selfish because our problems are nothing compared to theirs : 

I think we are just damned if we do and damned if we don't at the moment