Ex and Debt 28 November 2022 at 2:16PM in Marriage, relationships & families 11 replies 1.2K views

Ross_P1981

Hi all,

I’m hoping I’m posting this in the right place.

Just before my ex ended it she asked if I could get a loan for her to pay her CC off this would be the 3rd time I had paid stuff off for her but being in Love I just extended the loan.

2 weeks later she ended it a few months later I found she had go a loan herself around the same time.

I’ve read that if I can’t prove it wasn’t a gift I have no way of getting any money back is this true ? Obviously I can prove what went in her account and when.

The only texts I have is 1 of her asking how much the loans are for (no prompting on my part) the other me asking if she was going to pay towards them, she tried phoning but I couldn’t answer so text asking what the calm was about and she just said your text.

Ive today seen about Civil Standard and the Burden of Proof. Is there any hope ?

Many Thanks 

Ross

Brie

I highly doubt that any bank will be convinced to change a loan which you took out to anyone else's name.  They didn't apply for it so the bank will say it's your responsibility.  And the bank will say it doesn't matter why you took the loan out, you applied, it was affordable for you (according to the bank) therefore it's your loan.  Lots of people take a loan out for specific reasons (buy a car, home improvements, consolidate debt) and then use the money for something else. Generally a bank won't care as long as they get their money back.

The only possible hope may be that if you are declaring a financial split of property then you could try putting the loan down as something your ex owes to you.  So if you were splitting savings in half you could claim you get more due to ex using the loan money.  Bit of a long shot though so may not work.

Ross_P1981

Thanks for the reply Brie, I know a bank wouldn’t change a loan into someone else’s name. I apologise for not making it clearer. Is there a legal route I can go down where I could get the money eg small claims ? 

RAS

The best you could argue is that you'd previously taken out loans that your ex repaid, and that supports your claim that you both expected her to repay this loan.

How much is the debt and what has she said about repayment, when you asked her?

Ross_P1981

The debt was £16,500.
We agreed £10,000 as I accepted some of her argument for it.
In May she said she would start paying £50 a month, but this was face to face, nothing in text messages.

Ath_Wat

Ross_P1981 said:

The debt was £16,500.
We agreed £10,000 as I accepted some of her argument for it.
In May she said she would start paying £50 a month, but this was face to face, nothing in text messages.

Could there be any argument that the credit card debt that was paid off was joint expenses when you were together?  If at least part of it is household expenses, it's going to get very complicated.

Was the agreement in May to repay it made before you split up, or after?

Scorpio33

If you are not married, the loan is yours and you have to proove there was an intent to create a legal relationship. This means that you need something in writing confirming the loan and how much she will repay. Even better if she has repaid anything, then you can clearly proove she accepted it was a loan as she has started to pay it back.

Without the proof that it was a loan between you two, there is nothing you can do to get the money back.

shiny76

Ross_P1981 said:

In May she said she would start paying £50 a month.

  Thats an almost glacial repayment rate. 

Its unlikely you're going to see any of this back without proof of the agreement.

Ross_P1981

Thanks for your responses. 

I have nothing in writing from her accept a Text asking how much is outstanding by on the loans.
when I asked again if she was going to pay towards her loans, I missed a call from her, I text to ask what’s up and she replied she wanted to talk about the text and would talk to me face to face when I dropped the children off.
she’s been careful not to put anything in writing.

I suppose deep down I knew I wouldn’t get anything, but thought I’d ask here as I  unable to afford a solicitor just to ask the question.

tightauldgit

Ross_P1981 said:

Hi all,

I’m hoping I’m posting this in the right place.

Just before my ex ended it she asked if I could get a loan for her to pay her CC off this would be the 3rd time I had paid stuff off for her but being in Love I just extended the loan.

2 weeks later she ended it a few months later I found she had go a loan herself around the same time.

I’ve read that if I can’t prove it wasn’t a gift I have no way of getting any money back is this true ? Obviously I can prove what went in her account and when.

The only texts I have is 1 of her asking how much the loans are for (no prompting on my part) the other me asking if she was going to pay towards them, she tried phoning but I couldn’t answer so text asking what the calm was about and she just said your text.

Ive today seen about Civil Standard and the Burden of Proof. Is there any hope ?

Many Thanks 

Ross

Presuming by 'ex' you don't mean you were married then it's going to come down to whether you can convince a court that there was an expectation from both parties that this was a loan and not a gift. Not only that but even if you got a judgement do they have assets to make it worthwhile? Would you actually be able to recover the funds?

To be honest I think it's a long shot and it might just hopefully be a lesson to you that you shouldn't give anyone money unless you are happy not to get it back.

tightauldgit

Ross_P1981 said:

Thanks for your responses. 

I have nothing in writing from her accept a Text asking how much is outstanding by on the loans.
when I asked again if she was going to pay towards her loans, I missed a call from her, I text to ask what’s up and she replied she wanted to talk about the text and would talk to me face to face when I dropped the children off.
she’s been careful not to put anything in writing.

I suppose deep down I knew I wouldn’t get anything, but thought I’d ask here as I  unable to afford a solicitor just to ask the question.

Any decent solicitor will give you a free 30-60 minute consultation to talk over your case and advise you whether its worth proceeding or not. I'd suggest you talk to one as it's not a small amount of money and you'll get better advice.