Just wanting to do the best and causes fall outs.

oliel

15 year old son had a hard time at school we were fortunate enough to secure a bursary at a private school and despite it being a really big financial pressure it has been the best thing for him he is so much happier.  He has 1 year left at school next year he is doing a lot better as school - but is no where near as academic as his sister - That isn't an issue Im just glad he is happy.  Our mortgage is probably going to go up significantly next June due to the current interest rates - my husband thinks my son should leave school this year (he's young for his year) and not stay on as he says the financial pressure will be too much.  I want my son to stay on as I figure it is just 1 year,  He would probably only do 2 subjects in s6 and my hubby thinks he should leave and get a job for a year until he can do the job he wants to do (will need to be at least 17 for that).  Initially my son wanted to leave but now says he wants to stay on - its going to be be very hard financially but i feel id be letting him down - my daughter stayed on to s6 but wasn't at a fee paying school.  I just feel my son would benefit from an additional year but my hubby thinks the subjects pe and business would just see my son sitting around not doing much - i dont know how we are going to find a happy solution for all.

theoretica

What country are you in?  In England you need to stay in education or training until 18.

flossy_splodge

Good schooling is worth all sacrifices and it's not just about the number of exam passes.

If you can manage it you'll never regret it.

Could he get a Saturday job to help contribute? Great to instill learning about managing money and the fact money doesn't just appear from nowhere!!

Good luck.

I put both my girls through private school and have never regretted it even though I had to go without quite a lot. It's their future.

[Deleted User]

Take into account that you will lose child benefit if he leaves education  at 16  see https://www.gov.uk/child-benefit-16-19. Are there any bursaries at the school that could go part way towards funding? Are there any savings you can make that would help meet the shortfall if you can persuade your husband it would be in son's best interest to continue at school? "Getting a job" at 16 is not going to be easy, does your husband think it will be?

theoretica

If he really seriously has his eye on a job/employer could you find a friendly big employer in that field and ask what they value most on a CV for the year from 16-17?  If he does only do two subjects would he have time energy to also have a part time job and get both on his CV?

Spendless

Having not heard the term 'S6' before, I googled and believe you're in Scotland. I'm not very familiar  with the education system there. Is it stay on at the fee paying school or leave, are they the only 2 options? 

Both of mine went to FE education colleges after school exams where they concentrated on the field of study there were interested in. Is something like this a possibility? 

oliel

[Deleted User] said:

Take into account that you will lose child benefit if he leaves education  at 16  see https://www.gov.uk/child-benefit-16-19. Are there any bursaries at the school that could go part way towards funding? Are there any savings you can make that would help meet the shortfall if you can persuade your husband it would be in son's best interest to continue at school? "Getting a job" at 16 is not going to be easy, does your husband think it will be?

Yes thats how I feel its just 1 year to go without and 16 is very young.  There are not many the opportunities in the countryside in Scotland and opportunities are limited.   At the moment there is uncertainty at my husbands work with striking etc so I understand my husbands hesitant feel between a rock and a hard place.

oliel

Only 1 colleague 20 miles away with limited choice of subjects he definetly doesn't want to go to university like his sister Im fine with that I feel sure that if he leaves at 16 I will regret it but my husband isn't in agreement and thinks he doesn't put enough effort in.  Tbh he had such a tough time at his previous school I am just pleased that he is happy as school and has nice friends.

tacpot12

I fully agree with flossy_splodge, but your husband thinks that the financial committment will be too great for the  family. I think you need to try to understand his concern a bit more - try to understand his view of the numbers. I agree that sharing these numbers with your son will help him understand how family finances work. You can use the exercise to tell him how much you want him to be able to stay at school, but also to ask him to help with the costs. If he appreciates how much his schooling is costing, it might make him make a bit more effort which might be better for everyone. 

One way to have him contribute is to buy all his own clothes from money he has earned. 

Savvy_Sue

Another question, but do you have to make the decision now? If I'm getting this right, he has two more years to 'finish' the education offered at this school: at what stage do they require notice if he is not returning? 

I'm not familiar with the Scottish system: down South he'd go into what's still called "6th Form" after doing GCSEs, and there would be two years there, with AS levels taken after the first year, and A levels at the end of the second. TBH, I'd say that AS levels were not a lot of use as a qualification because they don't have the standing of A levels - you can use them instead of GCSEs to establish a basic competence, but if you've already got the GCSE then I wouldn't think they'd add a lot of value to an employer.

So if he'd be leaving school with a sort of 'in-between' qualification, I'd question the value and wisdom of doing that. 

And then can you look at the actual costs of the private school, taking the bursary into account, and are there ways of reducing them? It may be worth talking to the school to check whether there is any further help available. Is it the transport, the trips, the uniform that's putting the pressure on? 

Realistically, would he be able to find a weekend job which wouldn't adversely affect his studies? 

comeandgo

I disagree about explaining to your son the financial pressures his schooling will put you all under, I think it’s too much for a child to cope with and he may feel guilty and inadequate over what he is costing the family.  I certainly agree with you regarding his schooling, even if he is not doing much a year there will gain him a lot in maturity .