Can I check if my Mother had her mental capacity checked by Solicitors when she made her will

Spendless

Grumpy_chap said:

Oh dear, this thread almost seems to be the other side of this one:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6400391/change-to-will-to-remove-siblings-of-2nd-husband/p1

Apart from this seems to be the biological Mum of all 4 children, rather than excluding her step-children.

That's what I find odd, why exclude one biological child, I would expect there to be a reason, whatever it is. Not always for a negative reason either. Not that she did it. but one of my Great Aunts had 4 children and her eldest child asked his Mum to exclude him from her will because he was far wealthier than his 3 siblings  .  

Flugelhorn

Spendless said:

Grumpy_chap said:

Oh dear, this thread almost seems to be the other side of this one:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6400391/change-to-will-to-remove-siblings-of-2nd-husband/p1

Apart from this seems to be the biological Mum of all 4 children, rather than excluding her step-children.

That's what I find odd, why exclude one biological child, I would expect there to be a reason, whatever it is. Not always for a negative reason either. Not that she did it. but one of my Great Aunts had 4 children and her eldest child asked his Mum to exclude him from her will because he was far wealthier than his 3 siblings  .  

there can be positive and negative reasons - it may be in this case that the mother considered that really all the assets in her estate would have come from the second marriage ie the father of the half siblings and actually it is really his money that is being left to them and not hers

diystarter7

diystarter7 said:

OP
In order to support your quest, how did you get on with your mum?
How often did you see/call hers and vice-versa?

Did the will inc any other siblings you have or family from your dad's side?

Dis your mum ever mention the will to you and are the half-siblings a lot more financially vulnerable than you and you are relatively comfortable financially when compared with them?

What has stepdad said I'm assuming you have spoken with him

TBH, I'm very much anti-will turning but if there is a case and evidence of manipulation then it needs to be addressed.

I wish you luck in getting a clear picture re your mother's state of mind when the will was written and the reason/s why you was left out.

No one has mentioned this but it is important PS: Almost all medical conditions vary person by person and there are early stages of dementia where ones ability has been hardly impacted. The person may not be a 100% of they were the year/s before but are capable of making an informed decision. There, it will be very difficult to prove you mother lacked capacity unless there is a record of her health stating that for around that time. With dementia, even a bit later people have good and bad days but early dementia from the people I've seen via work years ago were able to go out alone, stay at home alone etc,etc

Your choice and good luck and I hope you get the info you seek to rest your concerns one way or another

Hi OP

If/when you come back and either confirm if you have seen the will, I will then post a few more thoughts on this.
Good luck.

Grumpy_chap

Spendless said:

Apart from this seems to be the biological Mum of all 4 children, rather than excluding her step-children.

Yes, I hadn't picked up that - it is not always easy to get all the details, but there are still some strong similarities.

user1977

Flugelhorn said:

Spendless said:

Grumpy_chap said:

Oh dear, this thread almost seems to be the other side of this one:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6400391/change-to-will-to-remove-siblings-of-2nd-husband/p1

Apart from this seems to be the biological Mum of all 4 children, rather than excluding her step-children.

That's what I find odd, why exclude one biological child, I would expect there to be a reason, whatever it is. Not always for a negative reason either. Not that she did it. but one of my Great Aunts had 4 children and her eldest child asked his Mum to exclude him from her will because he was far wealthier than his 3 siblings  .  

there can be positive and negative reasons - it may be in this case that the mother considered that really all the assets in her estate would have come from the second marriage ie the father of the half siblings and actually it is really his money that is being left to them and not hers

Or (as the OP is older) they may already have more assets, or they have benefited from another inheritance.

uknick

JJWSJS8700 said:

uknick said:

taylordebs said:

My Mum remarried and there are three t children from that marriage (my half siblings) , and now that she has passed away the children are saying that I am not in the will which was only made a couple of years ago and she was going into dementia at that time. Do I have a right to ask solicitors if she was assessed as fit to sign a will as her solicitors are saying that they can only tell me that with permission from the 3 children who are the executors? So I'm stuck as no way will they grant that! Thanks

Google the "Golden Rule" before you do anything else.

You can start here,

The Golden Rule - Magdalen Chambers

But, as said, it will be very difficult to win a challenge unless you have some pretty good evidence of her mental capacity at the time of signing the will.  And I do mean when she actually signs it, not just before or just after.  And if you do challenge, have deep pockets as you can't assume you can recover your costs if you lose.

I am in a similar position and did engage a solicitor who wanted to have at least £1,000 lodged with them at all times, i.e. if I spent £800 of the original £1,000 I paid as a "retainer", they wanted me to pay another £800 to maintain the balance. 

Are you progressing in your dispute?

I've come to an agreement with the other parties to settle my "informal" challenge.  I say informal as it's not progressed to a legal challenge yet.  I'm waiting to see if they honour the agreement.

JJWSJS8700

uknick said:

JJWSJS8700 said:

uknick said:

taylordebs said:

My Mum remarried and there are three t children from that marriage (my half siblings) , and now that she has passed away the children are saying that I am not in the will which was only made a couple of years ago and she was going into dementia at that time. Do I have a right to ask solicitors if she was assessed as fit to sign a will as her solicitors are saying that they can only tell me that with permission from the 3 children who are the executors? So I'm stuck as no way will they grant that! Thanks

Google the "Golden Rule" before you do anything else.

You can start here,

The Golden Rule - Magdalen Chambers

But, as said, it will be very difficult to win a challenge unless you have some pretty good evidence of her mental capacity at the time of signing the will.  And I do mean when she actually signs it, not just before or just after.  And if you do challenge, have deep pockets as you can't assume you can recover your costs if you lose.

I am in a similar position and did engage a solicitor who wanted to have at least £1,000 lodged with them at all times, i.e. if I spent £800 of the original £1,000 I paid as a "retainer", they wanted me to pay another £800 to maintain the balance. 

Are you progressing in your dispute?

I've come to an agreement with the other parties to settle my "informal" challenge.  I say informal as it's not progressed to a legal challenge yet.  I'm waiting to see if they honour the agreement.

Wow very unusual, hope it works out.

TBagpuss

uknick said:

JJWSJS8700 said:

uknick said:

taylordebs said:

My Mum remarried and there are three t children from that marriage (my half siblings) , and now that she has passed away the children are saying that I am not in the will which was only made a couple of years ago and she was going into dementia at that time. Do I have a right to ask solicitors if she was assessed as fit to sign a will as her solicitors are saying that they can only tell me that with permission from the 3 children who are the executors? So I'm stuck as no way will they grant that! Thanks

Google the "Golden Rule" before you do anything else.

You can start here,

The Golden Rule - Magdalen Chambers

But, as said, it will be very difficult to win a challenge unless you have some pretty good evidence of her mental capacity at the time of signing the will.  And I do mean when she actually signs it, not just before or just after.  And if you do challenge, have deep pockets as you can't assume you can recover your costs if you lose.

I am in a similar position and did engage a solicitor who wanted to have at least £1,000 lodged with them at all times, i.e. if I spent £800 of the original £1,000 I paid as a "retainer", they wanted me to pay another £800 to maintain the balance. 

Are you progressing in your dispute?

I've come to an agreement with the other parties to settle my "informal" challenge.  I say informal as it's not progressed to a legal challenge yet.  I'm waiting to see if they honour the agreement.

Hopefully they will, but keep amn eye on any time limits for making it formal ! 

taylordebs

diystarter7 said:

diystarter7 said:

OP
In order to support your quest, how did you get on with your mum?
How often did you see/call hers and vice-versa?

Did the will inc any other siblings you have or family from your dad's side?

Dis your mum ever mention the will to you and are the half-siblings a lot more financially vulnerable than you and you are relatively comfortable financially when compared with them?

What has stepdad said I'm assuming you have spoken with him

TBH, I'm very much anti-will turning but if there is a case and evidence of manipulation then it needs to be addressed.

I wish you luck in getting a clear picture re your mother's state of mind when the will was written and the reason/s why you was left out.

No one has mentioned this but it is important PS: Almost all medical conditions vary person by person and there are early stages of dementia where ones ability has been hardly impacted. The person may not be a 100% of they were the year/s before but are capable of making an informed decision. There, it will be very difficult to prove you mother lacked capacity unless there is a record of her health stating that for around that time. With dementia, even a bit later people have good and bad days but early dementia from the people I've seen via work years ago were able to go out alone, stay at home alone etc,etc

Your choice and good luck and I hope you get the info you seek to rest your concerns one way or another

Hi OP

If/when you come back and either confirm if you have seen the will, I will then post a few more thoughts on this.
Good luck.

Hi yes Mum told me that she had written her and seemed upset to tell me that I wasn't in it. Stepdad died 2 days before Mum. I was extremely close to my Mum and saw her and spoke regularly but stepdad didn't like me and I understand that he would want to protect his new children...no step children involved. I feel she might have been pushed Into making the will. All of us half siblings are adults with houses and families of our own. Thoughts very welcome thanks

taylordebs

taylordebs said:

diystarter7 said:

diystarter7 said:

OP
In order to support your quest, how did you get on with your mum?
How often did you see/call hers and vice-versa?

Did the will inc any other siblings you have or family from your dad's side?

Dis your mum ever mention the will to you and are the half-siblings a lot more financially vulnerable than you and you are relatively comfortable financially when compared with them?

What has stepdad said I'm assuming you have spoken with him

TBH, I'm very much anti-will turning but if there is a case and evidence of manipulation then it needs to be addressed.

I wish you luck in getting a clear picture re your mother's state of mind when the will was written and the reason/s why you was left out.

No one has mentioned this but it is important PS: Almost all medical conditions vary person by person and there are early stages of dementia where ones ability has been hardly impacted. The person may not be a 100% of they were the year/s before but are capable of making an informed decision. There, it will be very difficult to prove you mother lacked capacity unless there is a record of her health stating that for around that time. With dementia, even a bit later people have good and bad days but early dementia from the people I've seen via work years ago were able to go out alone, stay at home alone etc,etc

Your choice and good luck and I hope you get the info you seek to rest your concerns one way or another

Hi OP

If/when you come back and either confirm if you have seen the will, I will then post a few more thoughts on this.
Good luck.

Hi yes Mum told me that she had written her and seemed upset to tell me that I wasn't in it. Stepdad died 2 days before Mum. I was extremely close to my Mum and saw her and spoke regularly but stepdad didn't like me and I understand that he would want to protect his new children...no step children involved. I feel she might have been pushed Into making the will. All of us half siblings are adults with houses and families of our own. Thoughts very welcome thanks

I have seen the will and probate online so can see it is a mirror will with only my half siblings mentioned