Depressed about new house

[Deleted User]

Sarah1Mitty2 said:

[Deleted User] said:

Noise cancelling headphones are really good now. Another option is a speaker that produces white noise.

Bit weird having to wear headphones all the time in your own house, time to move if it is that bad, what does the white noise do?

You don't have to wear them in the shower.

White noise lessens how noticeable other sounds are. Lots of people use it at work to drown out office noise.

Noneforit999

MalMonroe said:

eddjimmyjones said:

OP, I felt compelled to post my experience and hope you find my experience of use, especially around trying to soundproof your house as it might not work as my experience. I moved into my house in April 2021 a 2 bed semi, and happy at the time as I got a good deal and someone selling who inherited the house and wanted a quick sale, however, when I moved in I quickly learned that the walls were paper thin, I could hear the neighbours TV and conversations can be heard clearly.  For me the most annoying thing is that I can hear the neighbour's tv in all rooms in my house, whereas from my upstairs I cant or can barely hear my own tv downstairs if it's switched on. I can hear all the doors, and movement up and down the stairs etc from next door. 

Now the neighbours are very elderly in their 70s and 80s retired whereas I am in my mid 30s, I am also the only black person in the street, I only bring up my race as I believe it plays a factor. I work from home a lot and my job includes speaking to people on the phone and sometimes discussing upsetting issues. One time I was preparing a talk for black history month and practiced my speech without being loud, which from what I head next door resulted in some comments!! I am now overly conscious of the sounds I am making. To be fair the neighbours are not overly loud just normal living, however, it's not great, I am sensitive to it and I am overly conscious of the noise I am making and also how different I am to them and the impact this has on perceptions by neighbours etc and sometimes feel like even in your own home you can't be yourself.   

Be careful about trying to soundproof the house, it can be a waste of money, I have tried to sound proof the house, I bought sound proofing material from a well known and well regarded website and had professionals fit this in on the living room wall and bedroom wall. This didn't make a bit of a difference, cost me about £1000 for the material and £1000 to get fitted. I removed the materials and got the genie clip sound proofing system on the living room wall and bedroom walls. again material cost about £800 and this time I got a mate to help fit this who does trade work and paid my mate about £400. The bedroom has somewhat improved but can still hear neighbours tv downstairs, still not worth the money spent. The living room not made much of a difference and one of the issues is that the living room wall hasn't got enough room for all the sound proofing material due to a door right on the corner. Anyway so far it's £2200 in soundproofing which has not worked, if it worked then it would have been worth spending that much. I have spoke to sound proofing companies who want to charge loads but it's not guaranteed to work and some companies want close to £5000 a room!! without a guarantee it would work. I still have to plaster and decorate the walls where recent soundproofing was put in which I have not done yet, I am considering if I want to try and soundproof the walls again but this will be another cost to plaster and decorate the walls.

lately I have been using my smart speaker to play white noise when I go to bed to block out the noise it does block out some sound from next door which is mainly tv, the benefit for me is that for some reason I have slept much better since I have had the white noise on all night and its more fan noise. I am into headphones and have a number of noise cancelling headphones which help. 

I am now in a dilemma, I am considering moving and have looked at other properties and ideally want to move to a detached property but this will cost a lot more, also factoring in current mortgage climate. Wheares staying in my current house with its annoyances makes more financial sense for now.  

Please, I beg of you, don't say your neighbours are 'very elderly'. (What relevance?) I'm in my early 70s and still do not feel anything LIKE very elderly. Or even elderly, for that matter. In fact I just launched my own small online business. I am fit and able and I speak to anyone, of any age. 

I don't think a person's colour has any relevance here, or anywhere else for that matter, either. 

To your last paragraph - you seem to have spent quite a bit already on trying to soundproof your property so does that make more financial sense than trying to find a more expensive home that's not quite so noisy? If I could afford it I would move to a detached property in a field because most people are just so darned thoughtless. They don't mean to be annoying but they just are. 

Hearing often gets worse the older you get so TV goes on louder to compensate. Obviously not the case for everyone but it definitely can be a factor so is relevant. 

Our neighbours TV seems very loud through the wall and chatting to them, they both harder of hearing than we both are so I assume that factors into the volume their TV is at. 

mattb001

Hi, just wanted to say that we went through a very similar experience. 

Bought a terraced house in our early 20s and quickly realised the walls were paper thin.  It wasn't too bad at first as it was a mum and child living there and it was noise like electric keyboards being terribly played and we saw the funny side of it.

Unfortunately the house was then sold and rented out.  We had some awful neighbours and could hear everything - sex, arguments, toilet seats and doors being slammed.  It caused me serious issues and I would find reasons to avoid being in the house.  It didn't bother my wife at all, so I think some people are just more sensitive to noise and you (like me) are probably one of them.

Eventually we were offered the opportunity to move abroad for work, and as the UK housing market had crashed we rented out our house and rented a flat abroad (where I should add, we had a lovely girl downstairs but she would also have evenings of playing music massively loudly, and had issues with our nephew jumping around when he visited).  We rented a duplex flat which had the top floor to ourselves and slept up there.  We saved and saved with the sole aim of buying a detached house back in the UK when the time was right.

I'm writing this now from a small, but detached house.  We still run the risk of having noisy neighbours in terms of loud stuff in gardens (thankfully our neighbours are great at the moment) but to not have to put up with hearing other people's doors slamming and people shouting to each other is a massive relief.

TL;DR

It's frustrating, but not the end of the world and not forever.  If at all possible, use this as a realisation that you are sensitive to noise and as motivation to get the job/promotion/location move that you may need to find a way to get into a detached house.

mattyprice4004

I echo the above - I've always been particularly sensitive to noise, so from renting my first flat I knew I'd have to either pick a very small detached property or fight my way up the 'promotional ladder' if I wanted something bigger. 

It took a very (very) long time, but I made the numbers work and now the wife & I live in a lovely quiet detached abode.
You can do it too - I started with nothing, no qualifications of note and just pushed incredibly hard to get where I am now. 

Area is a big factor too - it's better (in my experience) to find a detached house in a slightly worse area than a semi in a well-to-do town. You can always build a big fence etc for security  

boxer234

It is making me smile that everyone is suggesting a detached house like that is super affordable in this market.  

diystarter7

At times moving is the only option but be aware who your next, next door is.
Newer property, IMO sound travels more easily,
If anyone is suffering like the OP and you can afford to move, please move as
you cannot have peace even when coming back home from a hard day's work.
Moving does cause stress/uncertainty etc.
There are no easy answers.
Good luck OP

mattb001

boxer234 said:

It is making me smile that everyone is suggesting a detached house like that is super affordable in this market.  

It absolutely wasn't simple or affordable as we had to find better paying jobs in the fallout of the 2008 financial crisis.  It took us seven years of hard saving and delaying starting a family to get the deposit together for a detached house.

london21

Detached house = more money, when in the financial situation and can afford it then can go for it and would not have any joining neighbour. 

Until then have to find coping mechanism.

RelievedSheff

boxer234 said:

It is making me smile that everyone is suggesting a detached house like that is super affordable in this market.  

Sometimes you have to make small sacrifices to find that affordable detached property.

Ours was the area. We moved to a town on the outskirts of the city where we work where you get much more property for your money. That meant we could afford the detached house we wanted. The downside is we now have a 50 mile round trip to work and back, but it is worth it for the far better quality of life that we now enjoy.

You can not put a price on quality of life.

lookstraightahead

boxer234 said:

It is making me smile that everyone is suggesting a detached house like that is super affordable in this market.  

And often they're noisier. I live in a very old semi cottage with really thick walls. The neighbours stairs are against my living room wall and I don't hear a thing.
my parents and my sibling live in detached houses and have noisy neighbours / kids kicking footballs against fences / dogs barking.