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Child support / Maintenance

Bedders72
Posts: 6 Forumite

Can CSA payments be negotiated - am about to get divorced and with a new mortgage, utility bills, council tax etc and CSA payments on top I will have about £150 a month to fed myself etc. Am also wanting to keep paying for the boy's clubs that they attend. I have 3 boys that will be living with their mum in the family home. I want to support them but cannot see how I can afford to pay the £530 a month on top of all the other bills that I have to pay just to live, let alone food and clubs etc. Am currently nearing the end of the divorce and mediation and I need to resolve this
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Comments
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Short answer: No
If they are causing you an actual financial hardship then you may be able to appeal the award and get something but that's a rather high bar to pass if you are working, own your own home, etc.
Clubs won't be considered as they are an optional expense and in theory the cost of your kids clubs are part of what the child maintenance is supposed to fund. There's no obligation for you to pay for your kids' clubs.1 -
Have you shared your budget with your wife? If she can see that you can't afford to pay the maintenance that the CMS will demand and pay anything on top of this amount, she might be better if you stop paying for the clubs and she picks up the cost. Its a sad fact that two people can't live seperately as cheaply as they can as a couple. Unless both are earning well, certain luxuries might have to be foregone to pay for essentials.The comments I post are my personal opinion. While I try to check everything is correct before posting, I can and do make mistakes, so always try to check official information sources before relying on my posts.1
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I got stuffed for £496 a month in 1994! The whole system is rotten. CSA in my book stood for Cash Supplies Adultress!Now a gainfully employed bassist again - WooHoo!1
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Bedders72 said:Can CSA payments be negotiated - am about to get divorced and with a new mortgage, utility bills, council tax etc and CSA payments on top I will have about £150 a month to fed myself etc. Am also wanting to keep paying for the boy's clubs that they attend. I have 3 boys that will be living with their mum in the family home. I want to support them but cannot see how I can afford to pay the £530 a month on top of all the other bills that I have to pay just to live, let alone food and clubs etc. Am currently nearing the end of the divorce and mediation and I need to resolve this
No, the actual payment cannot be negotiated because that is the minimum amount.
Regarding paying for all their clubs, then that will need to be discussed between you and their mum, but if you cannot afford it then you can't pay it. Running a household is expensive so divorce means running 2 households and sacrifices need to be made.
The whole point of child SUPPORT is that the money is used to support the family life e.g. food, bills, clothing, CLUBS etc... so your child support money you are paying will contribute towards this. If they do LOTS of clubs then this might need to be reduced.
I have a friend who continued to live with their ex so they could afford their daughter's horse and riding lessons (!).Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')
No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)0 -
tacpot12 said:Have you shared your budget with your wife? If she can see that you can't afford to pay the maintenance that the CMS will demand and pay anything on top of this amount, she might be better if you stop paying for the clubs and she picks up the cost. Its a sad fact that two people can't live seperately as cheaply as they can as a couple. Unless both are earning well, certain luxuries might have to be foregone to pay for essentials.
I have just worked out my budget this is before CSA comes out and I have £150 for the month to feed and clothe myself. She is on good money and has her own business and frightened that as she can treat my boys weel, my boys will never want to see me. How can I keep up with the "Jonesy's" as they say. I really need to get my head around this as it is affecting me mentally0 -
Bedders72 said:Thanks, I haven't - As I am currently still living in the house, which isn't easy by all means, it's like walking on an eggshell carpet and things like this cause massive arguments as she is very good at being manipulative already making me out to be a bad dad.
I have just worked out my budget this is before CSA comes out and I have £150 for the month to feed and clothe myself. She is on good money and has her own business and frightened that as she can treat my boys weel, my boys will never want to see me. How can I keep up with the "Jonesy's" as they say. I really need to get my head around this as it is affecting me mentally
Perhaps your ex will be able to afford to keep paying for the activities on top of the CSA payments she gets from you? If she is on good money then this is quite feasible.
It's not about keeping up with the Joneses. You don't need to spend money to have fun with your kids. Most kids prefer your time and energy rather than some crap that money can buy.Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')
No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)0 -
You and ou wife can agree whatever you want but if you can't agree, the CMS is pretty rigid.
Have you factored into your budget the childnre staying overnight with you on a regualr basis? Tht affects how much you pay.
What are you currently paying in terms of outgoings ? If you are currently paying off loans or debts, atre those being taen nto account in your over all financial settlement?
IF you were to post a SOA on the debt boards there are people there who can take a look and suggest where you might be able t ocut costs or manage the money more effectively.
I am guessing that your proposed housing costs are the thing that's cuasing most issues - is there any flexibility there? For instnace, can you look at buying a less expensive property, look at a mortgge over a longer time or even consider looking at haing the mortgage on an interest only basis , at least in the short term? They re not necessarily the best options froma long term finacial perspective, but if you need a property of a certain size so the children can stay with you, then planning to down size to reduce the mortgage when they leave home may be a consideration.
Can you and your wife afford to not sell the family home? If it were sold, would each of you be able to rehouse with more affordable mortgages?
It's diffiuclt to comment without knowing the specifics.
While the government tried to make it so peaopel can't opt out of child support there are ways to manage it - for instnace, if the issue is that your wife wants to stay in the hosue and this is limiting the deposit for you to rehouse, then you could look at an arrangements whereby she pays you spousal maintenace equal to the amount of CMS (or a focxed proportion of it) in net terms, this would mean that you would effectively pay less maintenace. It's a bit risky as spousal maintenace can be varied by a court, but generally only where the court accepts that there's been a change of circumstnaces which make it fair.
The problem with separating is that you then ned to be able to run two households onmuch the same budgt as you previouly had to run one - and often, it isn't possible and both parties have to downsize and accept that their living standards will fall. s that something that you can discuss with your wife?
Do you have a solicitor? if not, get one and get some proper adviocefrom someone you can show all of the finacial information to, before you tie youself into either a new mortgage or any formal agreement around finances.All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)1 -
Bedders72 said:tacpot12 said:Have you shared your budget with your wife? If she can see that you can't afford to pay the maintenance that the CMS will demand and pay anything on top of this amount, she might be better if you stop paying for the clubs and she picks up the cost. Its a sad fact that two people can't live seperately as cheaply as they can as a couple. Unless both are earning well, certain luxuries might have to be foregone to pay for essentials.
I have just worked out my budget this is before CSA comes out and I have £150 for the month to feed and clothe myself. She is on good money and has her own business and frightened that as she can treat my boys weel, my boys will never want to see me. How can I keep up with the "Jonesy's" as they say. I really need to get my head around this as it is affecting me mentally
If she's on good money and has her own business then you'll presumably be coming into a lump sum if she buys out your equity in the house? Also you may be due more in the divorce if your needs are greater.
At the end of the day you can negotiate with your ex but at any stage she can revert to CMS and they will make a calculation for the amount against you. Feels like what you need to do is make sure you get an equitable settlement in the divorce and then establish your new situation to suit your finances so that you still pay for your child maintenance.
Will the kids be staying overnight with you at any point? This would reduce the amount you owe proportionally.0 -
I am proposing that the kids are with me every other weekend - this will be Friday night till Monday night, and I will also be taking them to the clubs during the week.
Unfortunately, I can only get a 20-year mortgage as I am turning 50 next month !! so time is against me on that. As we are going through mediation, I might raise it then as if it is a discussion between us it will end up as a massive row and I will end up paying the full amount.
Have already lowered the standards on the house and am looking at ones that need some cosmetic touches to it. It is annoying as they will be living in a nice house, area and nicely furnished and I am now having to live in somewhere of a lot lesser standard and further out in the sticks.
Appreciate any advice anyone can give me.
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Bedders72 said:I am proposing that the kids are with me every other weekend - this will be Friday night till Monday night, and I will also be taking them to the clubs during the week.
Unfortunately, I can only get a 20-year mortgage as I am turning 50 next month !! so time is against me on that. As we are going through mediation, I might raise it then as if it is a discussion between us it will end up as a massive row and I will end up paying the full amount.
Have already lowered the standards on the house and am looking at ones that need some cosmetic touches to it. It is annoying as they will be living in a nice house, area and nicely furnished and I am now having to live in somewhere of a lot lesser standard and further out in the sticks.
Appreciate any advice anyone can give me.
It seems that your energies would be better directed towards getting the right settlement in your divorce so that you can establish your new life than trying to haggle with the CMS.1
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