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Presents for birthdays and Christmas advice

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So me and my ex try to share what we get our kids for birthdays and Christmas but I am worried that they may get two of the same thing…my ex can be very hard work with her telling me the truth etc etc, what do I do if they get from her what I have got them? 

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  • MovingForwards
    MovingForwards Posts: 17,016 Forumite
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    Keep the receipts and swap the gifts out or keep them at yours for when the kids are with you.
    Mortgage started 2020, aiming to clear it in 2026.
  • tealady
    tealady Posts: 3,765 Forumite
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    Depending how old your kids are why not buy them a "treat day"
    Or give them some cash to spend. Dont worry if they fritter it on what you might think is rubbish, it's their choice.

    Find out who you are and do that on purpose (thanks to Owain Wyn Jones quoting Dolly Parton)
  • littlegreenparrot
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    I'm part of a large family, there is a big age gap between me and the youngest. 

    From when he was about 4 I stopped buying things, house was full of stuff. Instead we went out for the day somewhere. I would give him a few options so he could choose, he got to decide where we went for lunch. 

    We both had a wonderful time, generally tried to do it between Christmas and New year. He understood perfectly that was his present. More than 20 years later we both remember the steam fair at Warwick castle, it had much more impact. 
  • piesagittariusstick
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    I agree with the above advices: think out of the box and plan something special for the kids, something she won't think of doing. The best gifts (the ones we remember forever and ever) are totally unique and you can't buy them with money.

    So, you know your kids best - what do they really want from their dad? What sort of present can they deem special? 
  • GiantTCR
    GiantTCR Posts: 133 Forumite
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    Joli2022 said:
    So me and my ex try to share what we get our kids for birthdays and Christmas but I am worried that they may get two of the same thing…my ex can be very hard work with her telling me the truth etc etc, what do I do if they get from her what I have got them? 
    Just make sure you give them your gifts before she does. 
  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,205 Forumite
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    ASk her what she is getting them.? 
    Cosnider organising  days out of a shopping tip the first time they are with you after christmas, and maybe make a fin package for them to nwrap on the day (e.g. a big box with a small item like a chocolate orange inside, but also a home-made voucher for an activitiy or an ' IOU' for a shopping trip.) 
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • sheramber
    sheramber Posts: 19,510 Forumite
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    What about a trip to a pantomime or to the cinema?  You could give them the tickets or an IOU.

    Make up a box with crumpled newspaper or Christmas paper and put some stocking fillers hidden in amongst it. They can have fun opening that and finding some small gifts and then the trip out afterwards.
  • Buy them musical instruments.  Best gift on earth
    With love, POSR <3
  • matty_bram
    matty_bram Posts: 21 Forumite
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    Yep, as others said, just keep the receipts so you can exchange them if you want. Or take them somewhere after the the birthday/Christmas and let them have a budget to pick their own gift. 

    No need to over complicate it. Just make sure you spend time with them and have fun on those special occasions - that is what they will remember anyway. 
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