Family Support help

LK78

Short background. There is me and my sister in my family - nobody else. Parents passed a few years ago. Sister has some serious mental health issues amongst other conditions but does currently support herself with help (as in can cook, wash clothes, shop - basic day to day tasks) I live a good 2 hours away. We don’t have a close relationship and never have due to a lot of family issues in the past. I bought a house a few years ago (small/old) for my Sister/Dad to live in as their council accommodation was terrible and in an awful area, both of their health was poor. After Dad passed away sister began to live alone for first time in her life (now late 40s) and has coped relatively ok for the last 10 years or so. I support where I can with advice, she has a support person who visits also but nothing in the way of friends (she doesn’t want any she says - struggles hugely in any social situation) I also maintain or pay someone else to maintain the house (house paid for but it’s getting OLD) I have never asked for money for this - for ANYTHING. Roof work, boiler, light bulbs, everything - I pay for as her income is very limited (receives PIP) 

I am massively struggling to keep this up. I have a mortgage, job is ok paid but in the world we are now in it is a HUGE struggle. Sister pays her own bills, we claim Council tax reduction to 0 for her, she gets help with water bills etc but still she struggles to pay for her basics so nothing left for the house. I don’t know honestly what to do. The house will eventually not be suitable for her needs. Steep stairs, slowly getting damp etc and I’m supremely limited on the money I can spend on it. No room to have her live with me and neither of us would want that (of course I would if life or death but it would be miserable for us) I have no idea what to do. There is nobody else to support her, she can’t earn money, I can’t afford more money or to buy somewhere better for her. Please don’t suggest ways for me to earn more money, I already work very hard and also need to protect my own mental health which tbh is struggling. I can’t just Chuck her out and sell the house as someone has suggested to me previously, we might not be close at all but we are sisters and she has nobody else. But I worry about getting into debt and losing my own home also and then we are in even more trouble. Please, no nasty comments - it is a terrible situation and I can’t see a single option to make things work out for anyone. Equally, please don’t suggest any kind of crowdfunding or asking friends/family for financial help, I know suggestions are well meaning but it’s not a route we would ever take. Is there anything I can do that I just can’t see right now? The whole situation keeps me up at night and as the months and years go by it gets worse with no resolution. Please help us both with any ideas or thoughts. Thank you 

cymruchris

What's the value of the property in its current state?

Do property prices get lower or higher as distance between you gets less?

Is there an option to trade down - downsize to say a small ground floor flat nearer you?

ellenvan

It must be a really worrying problem for you.
Would it be possible for your sister to go on some sort of council housing list, so that in the future when she possibly needed sheltered housing or similar, she was already on the list. Could you maybe charge her a small amount of rent that she could claim on benefits? You could then use this for repairs etc.

LK78

Only worth around 120k max and sadly I live in a much more expensive area. That makes me sound terrible but it’s just how life has turned out. Sister would struggle hugely to leave her home town although I haven’t actually broached that subject 

LK78

ellenvan said:

It must be a really worrying problem for you.
Would it be possible for your sister to go on some sort of council housing list, so that in the future when she possibly needed sheltered housing or similar, she was already on the list. Could you maybe charge her a small amount of rent that she could claim on benefits? You could then use this for repairs etc.

Thank you. I’m not sure about the council. Last time I looked at anything there was nothing they would do unless she was homeless. I also looked at rent (like you say only a small amount!!) but it isn’t looked on favorably as it seems people do things like that to commit benefit fraud (buy a house, rent to your family and then you get the housing benefit) 

elsien

No, You do need to be careful of the contrived tenancy rules. She must be getting more than Pip though, surely, ESA or universal credit or similar?
If she doesn’t want to leave the area she’s in could you sell the house and buy a flat or somewhere cheaper to run and maintain where she is?

if she has some sort of support worker then someone has put that in place. A social worker or a care coordinator or someone. They cannot provide housing but potentially you and she could approach them and point out where things are going wrong and see if there’s any suggestions that they have for the future?

ellenvan

Looks like the social worker contact may be the place to start. Explain your worries and see what they can suggest.
Policies can change and sometimes be flexible so worth a try.

LK78

elsien said:

No, You do need to be careful of the contrived tenancy rules. She must be getting more than Pip though, surely, ESA or universal credit or similar?
If she doesn’t want to leave the area she’s in could you sell the house and buy a flat or somewhere cheaper to run and maintain where she is?

if she has some sort of support worker then someone has put that in place. A social worker or a care coordinator or someone. They cannot provide housing but potentially you and she could approach them and point out where things are going wrong and see if there’s any suggestions that they have for the future?

Thank you, yes that was the term that came up when I looked before. Yes she also gets ESA, not moved to universal yet. Thank you, I’ll try to talk to her support person to see if they can support. Because we are so distant (not estranged as there’s no existing malice but it’s tough) it makes communication about this stuff so difficult. An easier to maintain place would be ideal but not sure we would get anything for the money but I’ll do some more searching. She needs to feel safe and be comfortable and a cheaper place might be in a less desirable location, it’s just a little poor town but has better and worse areas like all places. Thank you 

Savvy_Sue

I agree, I'd start with the support worker and ask who you could talk to to get some support / advice. 

Are you an appointee for your sister's benefits, do you have Power of Attorney for her for either Health and Welfare or Finance and Property? You might get to the stage where you need that. 

If your sister is late 40s, then there will before too long be the option of sheltered housing, much of which is open to the over 50s. Some is provided by local councils, some by housing associations. Yes, you have to go on the council housing list, but for this kind of property the waiting lists move faster - and in the last couple of years they have sped up even more. 

Is she just getting PIP? Can't help feeling that there should be other benefits she can claim, again a support worker ought to be able to help signpost for that. 

Just seen your latest post. It may benefit her to move to UC from ESA, but that's something to check before you jump! 

elsien

Has she ever been in hospital under S3 of the mental health act? 

LK78

Savvy_Sue said:

I agree, I'd start with the support worker and ask who you could talk to to get some support / advice. 

Are you an appointee for your sister's benefits, do you have Power of Attorney for her for either Health and Welfare or Finance and Property? You might get to the stage where you need that. 

If your sister is late 40s, then there will before too long be the option of sheltered housing, much of which is open to the over 50s. Some is provided by local councils, some by housing associations. Yes, you have to go on the council housing list, but for this kind of property the waiting lists move faster - and in the last couple of years they have sped up even more. 

Is she just getting PIP? Can't help feeling that there should be other benefits she can claim, again a support worker ought to be able to help signpost for that. 

Just seen your latest post. It may benefit her to move to UC from ESA, but that's something to check before you jump! 

I don’t have POA or anything, she doesn’t have a lot of possessions really, mainly stuff left from parents when they passed on. Yes if her capability deteriorates I will be prepared to go down that route to do whatever is needed for her. She will be 50 in just over a year. Sheltered housing sounds like a route that may be helpful for her, independence but with help if needed type of situation? I’ll look at that, thank you. I wasn’t aware you could choose benefit type so I’ll also look into that and see what is best for her. Thank you