Charging me rent at 16

gf3978114

Hi I get this it should've become PIP a while ago but I'm still on DLA at almost 17.  Scotland law applies.

I get £345 a month its my only income and I'm being charged £120 a month in "rent". I dont think I can claim more benefits as not only would it effect her claim as I'd "owe" her the shortfall + from what I can see you're not eligible for money if you love at home anyway. She is still getting money for me being in "education".

 I don't cost her any more than a normal child. I dont have a "special" diet and I don't use more water or electric. I will either have to pay for a car or walk everywhere which is actually painful as I've got bad joint pains but I don't get higher rate mobility only middle so not entitled to a car. I have to pay a "contribution" now I've got "income". I wish she'd keep her mitts off of it. I've got to use what's left over for essential living expenses but could really do with that money for things like physiotherapy which there is a waiting list for on the NHS. There are many other things that could help my disability but I simply don't have the money for it.

 She gets loads of benefits and has loads of spare money after bills and she doesn't speak to me as someone who's desperate for money as she's just bought something over £100 on impulse without saving for it and without trying to find it cheaper she also buys essential clothes and coats and shoes for our family who have more "spare" income than me (what's left over after bills). That money should be going on me?!

I've spoken to her about how she should still be paying for me as it's the law and she has always disagreed with me and has threatened if I don't pay her to remove all the items she bought for me before I was 16 which includes most of my things including furniture. She has started to remove items before so it she's not just barking. I somehow doubt the authorities would care if I reported it as I've looked similar situations up where parents are using their kids DLA money for bills with most people agreeing with them.

Ive stopped giving her the full £30 to save up to leave home and pay for the first month. She isnt aware i want to leave. I'm giving her £10 a week to keep her more quiet but owe her a massive backpayment for a few months where I haven't given her the full £30/week. She's been demanding the back payment so expect the threats to roll in at some point. I dont intend to give her that backpayment but might be forced to if I don't get a house off the council soon as I've applied to be on the housing list.

What do I do? Nothing for now?

lisyloo

I sympathise. I have a mother I don’t want too, but it’s easy for me and not so easy for you.

Have you discussed with her how you’d like to use the money to help with your disability?
what’s her response?

what are your longer term education/career plans?

you may have to suck it up until you are more independent which is pretty much what I did.

DE_612183

Have you worked out what benefits you would get if you moved out?
Council house rent is not free - you will still have to pay.

Work out money wise what's best - you may still be better off where you despite the unfairness of the situation.

You say you have disability, but is there any option for you to work or continue in education?

lisyloo

[Quoted post removed by Forum Team]

If the parent doesn’t need the money and the Op could use the help with their disability then morally it’s wrong.

I suspect this will harm their relationship long term, perhaps with the mother greatly regretting it.

gf3978114

lisyloo said:

I sympathise. I have a mother I don’t want too, but it’s easy for me and not so easy for you.

Have you discussed with her how you’d like to use the money to help with your disability?
what’s her response?

what are your longer term education/career plans?

you may have to suck it up until you are more independent which is pretty much what I did.

Well her response is that I must contribute and is using her own experience of poverty when she was my age to "prove" that I'm in a good situation?? Shes said it's to teach me responsibility. I think it's it's top up her income as there's other ways to do that and doesn't need to be started right away. I have to work if I want extra.

I have limited capability for work but haven't actually officially registered as that but will try at some point. But it can be assumed from my disability that I have limited capability so not sure I need to. don't know the right words to use and am worried about being rejected. I hadn't actually made my dla claim luckily.

My plan is to go to college or take classes on what I want to do at some point next year. I think I might have to suck it up until I'm more independent too.

gf3978114

DE_612183 said:

Have you worked out what benefits you would get if you moved out?
Council house rent is not free - you will still have to pay.

Work out money wise what's best - you may still be better off where you despite the unfairness of the situation.

You say you have disability, but is there any option for you to work or continue in education?

I don't know exactly what benefits I'd be entitled to. I thought I'd read somewhere I'd have my rent and bills payed for me through benefits? Could be wrong.

DE_612183

gf3978114 said:

DE_612183 said:

Have you worked out what benefits you would get if you moved out?
Council house rent is not free - you will still have to pay.

Work out money wise what's best - you may still be better off where you despite the unfairness of the situation.

You say you have disability, but is there any option for you to work or continue in education?

I don't know exactly what benefits I'd be entitled to. I thought I'd read somewhere I'd have my rent and bills payed for me through benefits? Could be wrong.

Ok, you could try citizen advice - they may be able to help, or this site Young person (aged 16-18) - Turn2us

lisyloo

I would first ignore the people who have nothing better to do than to be nasty.
other people have their own issues.

if she won’t accept your point of view and puts herself first then that is very sad and I know how personal that feels coming from your own mother who of all people should support you.

I think you’ll find it very difficult to move out as you’ll have rent and household bills.
so I would sit tight and make your plans for the future and do your best with whatever work you can do (if any)  or work towards you future career goals and manage the money as best you can.
one day you can be independent but for now unfortunately I don’t believe the system supports you being an independent adult at your age.

are there any things you can do?
for example could you take in ironing that you can do sitting down? Or could you work on a till/checkout at a shop?

poppy12345

gf3978114 said:

I have limited capability for work but haven't actually officially registered as that but will try at some point. But it can be assumed from my disability that I have limited capability so not sure I need to. don't know the right words to use and am worried about being rejected. I hadn't actually made my dla claim luckily.

My plan is to go to college or take classes on what I want to do at some point next year. I think I might have to suck it up until I'm more independent too.

Limited capability for work is part of Universal Credit (UC). As a full time student you will not be able to claim UC. As you don't yet claim UC then you haven't been assessed as having Limited capability for work. This will only apply once a work capability assessment takes place and a decision is made on that claim.

gf3978114 said:

if I don't get a house off the council soon as I've applied to be on the housing list.

It maybe extremely difficult to get a property through social housing, especially being single with no children, even with your disabilities.

I think what your mum is doing is wrong because she's already claiming benefits for you, as you're still in full time non advanced education. If she claims child tax credits or Universal Credit for you then she will be receiving extra money because of your DLA award.

Even so, it's far cheaper to remain at home than live by yourself, though i totally understand the reasons why you want to move out.

I hope you come to some compromise with your mum soon.

Savvy_Sue

Do you have a social worker? I have a friend who was keen to find supported accommodation for their child before the age cut off after which it would have been adult Social Services involvement. And I don't know if the situation is different in Scotland. And this was not for physical disability. But while they might not care about the money, they might care about you, since this is clearly not a good relationship. 

But my suggestion would be to speak to your social worker if you have one, and if not speak to social services and say that you need some help. You could also speak to the housing office and ask if there is supported accommodation available for young people. Round our way we have both a Foyer, https://www.foyer.net/ and an organisation which supports / provides accommodation for 16-25 year olds. No idea what there might be around Scotland. 

lisyloo

And if she’s told you your dad is no good, then ask yourself is she telling you the truth? or is it just possible he’s a nice guy, she’s made things impossible and he genuinely thought it would be better for you not to have to face the toxicity she would create.

i don’t know but I’ve certainly seen cases where the father does want to be involved but the mother makes it impossible and he walks away as he thinks that’s best for the child.

you are now old enough to enquire for yourself and find out

if it was me the. I think I’d want to know either way.

it certainly isn’t right that she isn’t tying to help you and support you.