Divorce when I have no money

tightauldgit

elsien said:

If the debts are in his name, “we” don’t have debt. He has debt. What has that money been used for? House refurbishment? Holidays? Gambling habit? That may make a difference when it comes to working out what happens next. 

What are you envisaging would happen with the house? Would you expect to stay there with the children, as that doesn’t seem very realistic with no  income to buy him out/continue to pay the mortgage. 

How long have you been married for? 

How much equity is there in the house?

You can petition for divorce without his consent but if he disagrees then you’re looking at unreasonable behaviour to progress things. More information here. (Not a recommendation for the firm in question.) 

https://awhsolicitors.co.uk/articles/family/how-to-get-divorce-if-spouse-refuses-uk/

I think this is something you really need paid legal advice for. 
 

If we are talking divorce here then marital debts are the same as marital assets - the starting point is a 50/50 split so yes it's 'we' rather than 'he' 

The divorce thing is from my understanding not quite how that site sets it out, when you look at the form to respond to a divorce application there are only 3 reasons to dispute it - that the court doesn't have authority, that the marriage isn't valid or that the marriage has already ended. There is no 'i disagree with the reasons' option. I think that's a result of the new laws. That link looks outdated as there's no need to rely on the 5 reasons anymore - you just need to provide a statement that the marriage has irretreviably broken down. So in that respect the husband can't stop a divorce in anyway. Unreasonable behaviour is a thing of the past.

To address the OP on money matters.

1. With respect to paying for the actual divorce you may be eligible for help with court fees but there's no legal aid for divorce in general. 
2. Every case is going to be different but as a guide assume all assets and debts will be split 50/50 - although in a case where you have nothing and he is working FT you might expect to get some benefit in your favour to get you established don't expect it to be overly generous. 
3. The house will be split like other assets - it'll either be sold and the proceeds divided or one of you will buy the other out of their share. 

It might be worth having a chat with Citizens Advice as a first step, or call a local solicitor as most will offer an initial consultation free of charge. 

Retireby40

Do you not have access to a joint bank account?

How do you buy things on a daily basis? 

You've said you have wanted a divorce for 2 years? Why haven't you spoken to housing executive to start the process of applying for a place and announcing yourself homeless?

How old is the child?

macman

Many couples do not have joint bank accounts If both have an income, then they will divide up between them who pays for what. if only one income, then the earner will provide a monthly allowance to the other.
That might sound old-fashioned, but it still applies to many households.

asingledad

This is somewhat my own situation, except I am the breadwinner.

elsien said:

You can petition for divorce without his consent but if he disagrees then you’re looking at unreasonable behaviour to progress things.
 

As @tigh@tightauldgit said, this has changed. We now have no fault divorce, so he cannot oppose the divorce (with a few exceptions such as if a foreign court has jurisdiction or there is already a case in progress). I am going through that process myself at the moment

https://www.gov.uk/divorce

https://divorce.wikivorce.com/guides-divorce/how-to-guides/no-fault-divorce-guide.html

The starting point for splitting assets is a 50:50 split, but adjusted on the basis of needs. As you are a stay at home mum its likely the kids will stay with you and that will probably mean you get the house and maintenance for the you and the kids.

RAS said:

Agree, this sounds like there may be an economic abuse/psychological abuse situation going on here.

If there is abuse, he can be removed from the house by the courts. I am in the process of applying for an occupation order myself.

Did he put pressure on you to stop working? Does he coerce you in anyway. If so definitely get advice.

MalMonroe said:

If you've managed to stick things out with your husband for the last two years without taking decisive action, it doesn't seem that your situation is desperate. 

I can tell you from my own experience that people will stay in desperate situations for much longer, and for many reasons: emotions, a feeling of duty to keep trying, worrying about the impact on children, worries about how to cope on their own, lack of support, bad advice and so on.

It is very difficult to cope with someone who is not in touch with reality.