I need help

Greg89

My father who is 66 for almost 3 years been arguing, complaining, moaning about money 

Bills come every 3 months and I pay half

What's he complaining about

-he has two major bank account savings

-he has his mortgage paid off

-he has assets and resources

-he gets £185 a week from pension

-he gets £30 a week from benefit

-he gets another private pension £60 a week

-he gets £50 a week from me

He doesn't pay for petrol, insurance, car tax, phone

He only spends £20 a week

What's he complaining about £300 a week saving and I pay half for bills and government support

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I helped my father a lot

-Ive given him money every week since June 20

-I do the chores, do this, that, chase this and that, take him places, help him

I helped him with his finger injury years back take him to hospital, clinic, specialist, local health clinic

Same with back inju

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He's been complaining and arguing for nearly 3 year

-throw away the books on the bookshelf

-change mattress

-clean 1cm of spilled soup away

-put that away

-too many more

-put the bins out propery

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He doesn't give the support, he isn't willing to compromise, he doesn't listen, he doesn't let me go abroad, he doesn't tell the right things, he's allowed my sister to do everything

He wants to please family member

I don't need help

He doesn't listen, I'm 33 doesn't let me do this

Doesn't let me quit work, he can't control me

Why doesn't he say something

The bills only come once every 3 months.

And he says get a women to help out with cleaning and I've been saying this for years.

My sister don't help out with anything.

So who complains saving £300 a week, success, every need met. 

Also I can show him women, then he says get women to help him with cleaning

He never listens, complaining so much about money when hes got too much 

He says get women to help with domestic duties around house 

Devongardener

Not quite sure what you are asking here,  do you live in the same house as your father?

Greg89

Yes, but he complains and argues about money and not listening, also he says get women to help with cleaning.

MovingForwards

Move out in the easiest thing.

turnitround

So you are 33, still living at home and only pay £50 a week!

How much do you earn a week? What do you do with the rest of your money? Have you tried moving into a place of your own? although if you do that £50 a week will seem like nothing.

turnitround

You had a thread complaining about the very same thing almost 2 years ago. You were paying £50 a week then. Your father's finances are his business. Because he seems to have a lot of money to you it does not mean he is there to be taken advantage of financially.

You also mentioned in another thread in November 2020 that you going to the US twice in the following year and that your father was helping to pay for it.

Greg89

I don't want to take advantage of him. I say a few times this arguing and complaining about money is ridiculous. I don't want any of it.

I know pensioner who earn only £170 and no help from kids (although this could be wrong) and this guy says also pay him back for all life. I seen on sky news TV where a gentleman say he gets £640 per month and he don't know what will happen.

I was paying £70 for over a year and I told him to drop it.

I do have other dd to pay and earn £1490 a month. I could rent out a designer studio for £104 a week. I do spend breakfast and dinner on food on my work days.

I don't understand why he complains, argues so much about money when he saves so much and so so much help.

And what about him saying get a women to help with cleaning. I do help out and my other sibling has put us to one side.

He doesn't want me to move out.

sheramber

What do you want forum members  to help you with? We cannot change what your father does or says. If you want to move out he cannot stop you.

elsien

Not entirely sure how he can stop you from going abroad either. You’re an adult if you want to go then go.

And rent the bedsit if that works for you. Whether he wants you to go or not is academic.

Greg89

Thank you.

Is this complaining and arguing very selfish?

74jax

I'm confused over your post sorry. 

How is he saving £300 a week, are you sure? He gets £325 in, has to buy food and you say spends £20.  Then has to pay half of all bills.

Anyway, to be honest, it's not really the point as if he choses to save, that's his choice but I am not sure it is the amount you say it is. 

Who is he arguing with? It takes two to argue.  If you, don't argue back. 

Move out. 

Go on holiday. 

He wants a cleaner, so give him contact details of a company and ask him to get in touch.  

As for - throw away the books on the bookshelf - throw them away, it's just general cleaning-better still donate them. 

-change mattress - again I can't see the problem. 

-clean 1cm of spilled soup away - anyone wouldn't need telling to do that. 

-put that away - again, his house he wants it's tidy

If you don't like it, move out.

You can't control how he thinks or his reasonings. Just the same as we can't control yours or your reasonings. 

To us we all think you're an adult, move out, go on holiday. You think differently. You think things of your dad. He thinks differently. 

The only person you can control is yourself.