thanks for the answers

Kim1965

Be sure to come back and tell us how the review goes 

poppy12345

I totally get the mental health part. What i don't understand is why your parents are continuing to fund your life style, especially to such a huge extent and all for such a small amount of earnings each month.

silvercar

poppy12345 said:

I totally get the mental health part. What i don't understand is why your parents are continuing to fund your life style, especially to such a huge extent and all for such a small amount of earnings each month.

Parental attitude of the well off. They can afford to do it and would rather give the money when it is needed than see their offspring be in financial difficulty. Coupled with the inheritance tax shadow - if you pass on money in your life time, the tax man will take less.

pickapennyup

sourpuss2021 said:

Incidentally I just found myself reading a thread on another well-known forum on the subject of depressing/depressive middle-aged men who never become independent and live their lives in the family home with their ageing parents.   Below I've screenshotted a couple of comments from that thread.   Their not wanting me to be one of those sons, is no doubt a factor in my parents continuing to fund me to keep my tenancy going here!   Although you may say I've ended up in the same immobile situation, just in a landlord's property and at the expense of the state.  Still, it requires more from me than if - heaven forbid!! - I was back in the old childhood bedroom, Mum doing my washing, etc!   At least I'm living independently, and not just that, I'm overseeing a couple of other flats, too. And when I get a lodger again, like I always used to, that will be another dose of reality, too.  Better this situation than being one of these guys:

1:

2:

but your hardly that independent as your living of the state HB and your parents regularly bail you out and your still in debt
why have you deleted many of your messages if you are confident you are doing no wrong eg housing benefit
it sounds very complicated and think the council will maybe go through it thoroughly but thats just a guess on my part

poppy12345

sourpuss2021 said:

silvercar said:

poppy12345 said:

I totally get the mental health part. What i don't understand is why your parents are continuing to fund your life style, especially to such a huge extent and all for such a small amount of earnings each month.

Parental attitude of the well off. They can afford to do it and would rather give the money when it is needed than see their offspring be in financial difficulty. Coupled with the inheritance tax shadow - if you pass on money in your life time, the tax man will take less.

They're comfortably off but they're prudent, not rich.  They don't have London/Home Counties property wealth, either; and I'm not an only child....

Given the amount they've given me over the years I would say it's been unwise of them to subsidise my living expenses rather than buying somewhere for me to live (in their names).  It would have been affordable up until the early 2010s, but they wouldn't have taken the risk.  But not doing so has been more costly.   Now I won't take any risk myself because I feel to do so would put my housing at risk.  So I'm repeating the same mistake.

I wish they (principally my father) had given me the direction/support I needed to succeed on my own terms and then perhaps I'd have bought somewhere myself by now.  Although perhaps there's a parallel universe where they've funded a string of my "business ventures" which have all gone tits-up.  That has never happened, thankfully.  At least this way I have (my landlord's) roof over my head!

Also they sold off properties of the WW2 generation at the very first opportunity, whereas my savvy landlord kept hold of his.  The property I am living in is my landlord's former family home, but he had no compunction about then turning into flats to be rented out.  Whereas my parents just immediately flogged properties off which would now be valuable.

My own attitude is bad sometimes, as you can see.  I should work on that.

Why have you edited and removed 18 of your comments? Many of your comments that you removed have been quoted by other members, so why remove them when we can still see at least part of the comments anyway. I find that rather strange. You've also deleted all your comments on your other threads that you've posted on the benefits section.

calcotti

So annoying when people do that!

poppy12345

calcotti said:

So annoying when people do that!

I'll second that!

Lifematters

It may be that the poster is genuinely looking for advise/help but then removes own posts so as not to be potentially identified. 

marcia_

sourpuss2021 said:

Lifematters said:

It may be that the poster is genuinely looking for advise/help but then removes own posts so as not to be potentially identified. 

Yes, exactly that.   It's a strength of MSE that users can edit their posts when they want to, while other user's contributions remain.  So the value of the replies isn't lost to the forum, while the user has some control over being able to remove their own content.   Since the forum is so busy anyway, it means the forum doesn't massively suffer through the loss of deleted posts either..

  Yes it does. The first thing new posters do is search the forum or link in from Google for issues similar to theirs to get answers. Not much use to them if they're been deleted.

 Besides as mentioned your posts are quoted so......

poppy12345

sourpuss2021 said:

pickapennyup said:

sourpuss2021 said:

Incidentally I just found myself reading a thread on another well-known forum on the subject of depressing/depressive middle-aged men who never become independent and live their lives in the family home with their ageing parents.   Below I've screenshotted a couple of comments from that thread.   Their not wanting me to be one of those sons, is no doubt a factor in my parents continuing to fund me to keep my tenancy going here!   Although you may say I've ended up in the same immobile situation, just in a landlord's property and at the expense of the state.  Still, it requires more from me than if - heaven forbid!! - I was back in the old childhood bedroom, Mum doing my washing, etc!   At least I'm living independently, and not just that, I'm overseeing a couple of other flats, too. And when I get a lodger again, like I always used to, that will be another dose of reality, too.  Better this situation than being one of these guys:

1:

2:

but your hardly that independent as your living of the state HB and your parents regularly bail you out and your still in debt
why have you deleted many of your messages if you are confident you are doing no wrong eg housing benefit
it sounds very complicated and think the council will maybe go through it thoroughly but thats just a guess on my part

 Then I see several thousand views of the thread and I have no idea who these people are reading it.

I can only see 3k views of this thread.