advice on communicating with partner about bills increase

TheGardener

Petriix said:

Even if your energy company aren't getting automatic readings, you still should be regularly readin your own meter. We can help you with that if you post a picture (of the meter itself, not the IHD).

...Foraging for firewood is actually a great money saving concept. Seasoned logs cost something like 20-40p per kWh of useable heat. However, scavenged wood needs to be properly stored and seasoned before you burn it...

Foraging is a useful and helpful supplement but not a viable alternative to 'paying your way' 
The partners employment status appears to be a big part of this relationship - I don't think the OP says anything about him earning less than them - only that he sees his income as harder come by and weirdly 'superior' to the OP's. Self employment is a choice and comes with many benefits regular employment doesn't. Playing the ' you get paid by the man' (in the hippie sense of the term) card doesn't cut it IMHO.

RobM99

Foraging! Oh please. Damp wood takes ages to dry. And loads of storage space. 

TheGardener

Id also get a smart plug (or two) and plug all the things he uses for his wfh like the heater and his computer, phones etc and bill that as a business expense for a start. 

FreeBear

RobM99 said:

Foraging! Oh please. Damp wood takes ages to dry. And loads of storage space. 

And if it has been"foraged" from the local woods without permission from the land owner, it is theft - Same for all those trees that get blown down during the winter gales. Those neatly stacked piles of logs by the roadside are not a free-for-all.

If you do manage to scavenge suitable firewood legally, it is still going to need cutting to the right length and splitting - If the partner isn't willing to split the bills, I doubt he would spend any time splitting logs.

If the electricity meter is playing up and not displaying any data, you can get whole house energy monitors that just clip over one of the cables coming out of the meter - No electrician needed. Owl do one, and there are others available on the market.

ashe

Set a spreadsheet up showing all household bills that are to be shared 

you can define a split that you feel is fair - we do 50/50 now as our income is similar but previously I earned more so we did 70/30

We update this sheet any time a bill changes. It shows us how much we have to pay, what we will have left over etc 

if he wasn't in your house he would still have the same bills, so he needs to just pay his share 

arnoldy

Alternatively, most of us are thinking have one single joint account, everything in & what needs to be spent out. Simples. No spreadsheets, no secrecy or hiding, haggling and tinkering, weekly financial calculations and negotiations worthy of the International Monetary Fund.

MattMattMattUK

This is not an energy bills issue, this is a relationship issue. 

TheGardener

arnoldy said:

Alternatively, most of us are thinking have one single joint account, everything in & what needs to be spent out. Simples. No spreadsheets, no secrecy or hiding, haggling and tinkering, weekly financial calculations and negotiations worthy of the International Monetary Fund.

Sorry - but a partner having access to the OPs funds when they have demonstrated that they are happy to spend their partner's income but not their own sounds like a recipe for disaster to me...

PM22

Maybe ask him to be responsible for certain bills in his name-might scare him into just paying up….sounds like he’s unfair to me

tightauldgit

1. Sit down and say 'Dave (or whatever) the bills have gone up 4* in the last six months and I need you to contribute more. I was thinking £xxx per month'

2. If he says 'OK' then cool, if he starts a long-winded BS series of excuses then 'Dave, this isn't working and I need you to move out by the end of the month. Good luck.'