Nightmare neighbours

elsien

Langerhan said:

elsien said:

rose28454 said:

I happened to see 2 Policemen yesterday cycling by and asked for a word. They knew exactly who I was talking about and said we should not engage with them verbally or physically basically because they are minors. 

I told them we have Cctv and they advised getting a dashcam and if we get more trouble to try to record it and if it gets out of hand call 999. They basically said you can’t win. I am however going to speak to the company who own the property. 

Phone 111 every time anything happens which is verging on harassment and get a reference. If any neighbours are also being targetted then see if they will do the same. The police won't do anything about it but it logs the incidents and builds the bigger picture.  That way you are building up your evidence, as well has having your dashcam etc.  Just because you have been advised not to engage with them because they are minors doesn't mean that no-one else should be addressing it. If it's a council property then contact your local councillor and see what they can do around anti-social behaviour from a council property if it is incidents that you can evidence. 

111 is NHS Direct. The emergency police number is 101. Otherwise, totally agreed - it's about building a picture in case you need it in the future.

If you feel like the police are fobbing you off, it might also be worth talking to your local councillor to see what they'd advise.

Whoops. Always get them mixed up, 

deannagone

I am afraid I have to reinforce what others have said about moving. 

We went through much the same.  No idea why this family picked on us, didn't do anything to stand out. One of their sons was trying to steal our car, police driving by saw him and arrested him.  He wouldn't have succeeded anyway, he didn't have the right keys for the car in his hand (why police decided he was trying to steal our car, he had similar keys but not quite right).  Nothing to do with us, we hadn't seen a thing, not even the arrest.  But the family who had lots of connections with other similar families in the area decided we had told the police.  From that point out our lives were hell.  My ex was assaulted by the partner of the arrested man, in our front garden, when they started shouting at my then partner.  He didn't say a thing back except that he hadn't informed the police.  The police said they couldn't help us unless we had a crowd in our front garden threatening to kill us. We did ask them to arrest the lady who assaulted my partner because it was completely unprovoked and the police advised us to drop it, which we did! Council wouldn't help us move (we were all in social housing).  They wouldn't even help us find a council owned garage we could rent.

Unfortunately, this family and ourselves lived by different rules, and their's won.

We even had them take our drainpipes apart, constant harrassment, broke car windows constantly which led to financial ruin for us (£100 a time on restricted benefits as we were having to appeal a decision).  I didn't sleep for more than 2 hours for 6 months until I did find somewhere we could move to.  It was awful.

And we really didn't do a thing to cause this.  No answering back, nothing.  We didn't back down, but didn't antagonise either.

I'm afraid there is no such thing as fair, or justice in these situations.  There's nothing you can do to remedy it in the short term.  Getting the council to do something about ASB can take years.

I hated having to give up a house we'd done a lot to.., the house was huge.., its the last house I have lived in that actually had a garden.  We moved to a tiny maisonette with a back yard and it  took years to recover from the financial woes (amazing how these things happen at the worst possible time lol).  

I'd move.  Its wrong, but unfortunately, unless the council will proactively deal with the situation (they won't) there's not a lot you can do.  I'm sorry.

pickledonionspaceraider

@deannagone - Oh god it sounds like you went through hell

I know three separate people, different areas,  who have been in similar situations, repeated assaults, and living next door to dealers, even threats with a gun.  No action by police or LA in any of these three, and they all had to move, for their own safety and sanity

The police do not seem to want to know, whatsoever - they would seemingly rather visit a victim several times a day for a long period,  to strong arm them into dropping charges, than file an assault charge.  The LA have little to help with anti social behaviour, as they term it.  

It is a life ruiner.   It is a shame you had to give up your home, it truly is deannagone, I hope you have more peace of mind now

SadieO

pickledonionspaceraider said:

This will not be a popular train of thought, but I will say anyway.

I have seen this play out time and time again

I would move. 

Yes I know it is your home, and the indignant part of me feels like 'why should you?' .....The problem is that this will consume your day to day lives,  and it will be over a long period of time ie years....and yes things are escalating 

The policeman was right - you can't win. You will pay a huge price to not win

  It is heart breaking, I know.  But my best advice is to cut your loses and save your sanity. 

Life is too short to spend the next few years in a war you don't want, and probably won't win

I would have my house on the market pronto - I would not let these people live rent free in my head

You only get one shot at this life - and sometimes being right, isn't what is important, sometimes it is just cutting loses and living peacefully

I am so sorry this is happening to you.

My brother in law was having a dispute with his neighbour that was getting very heated. He decided the best thing for his mental health was to use the money and energy it was costing him to move house instead. I think it was the best thing to do. Regardless of who won the legal battle, the acrimony would have remained. 

zaxdog

The problem is if you snap and retaliate against the feral brats you will be the ones in trouble. I'd move and put it behind you with the thought in mind that they are just scum and will have scummy lives sadly probably breeding more feral brats for the community to have to deal with (and pay for) :-(

Alanp

We also lived next to awful neighbours, it was our first house after we got married, both neighbours were lovely, but they moved on , we had new ones move in next door, and I think it all started when the woman came round asking to borrow a corkscrew for a bottle of wine, as we aren’t wine drinkers we couldn’t help, that started a year of hell ( although not as bad as some on here), all night parties, banging on windows and finally he discharged a guy from his back door into his garden, I’m with others move, we did and have had lovely neighbours for the last 33 years…  

Pollycat

Alanp said:

We also lived next to awful neighbours, it was our first house after we got married, both neighbours were lovely, but they moved on , we had new ones move in next door, and I think it all started when the woman came round asking to borrow a corkscrew for a bottle of wine, as we aren’t wine drinkers we couldn’t help, that started a year of hell ( although not as bad as some on here), all night parties, banging on windows and finally he discharged a guy from his back door into his garden, I’m with others move, we did and have had lovely neighbours for the last 33 years…  

But you don't know if the neighbours are going to be a nightmare when you move into a house.
And even if they are great, there's no guarantee that they'll stay long term.
As you found out in your first house.